Do you send a wedding gift when you decline an invite?

Depends on how close we are with the people. We’ve been invited to weddings where it’s someone who we don’t even talk to and don’t consider friends so we just decline. I mean I’ve received some pretty bizarre invites where I swear the people just went through their Facebook friends list and invited everyone regardless on if they haven’t seen or spoken to the person in a decade so I didn’t feel bad for just declining. However, if it’s a close friend or family member and it’s a wedding we would have gone to if not for a conflict, then we absolutely send a gift. For example, my cousins wedding is in June - it’s two hours away and with our wedding being in August, I don’t feel we can afford the expense of going - if we don’t go, we will get a gift because he’s family.

That's probably because you usually don't send a gift when you decline a wedding invitation.

I don’t know if there’s a spoken rule, but I think it’s polite to do. If you don’t know them that well, even a personalized card of warm wishes is polite.

It depends on my relationship with them. A friend we wish we could celebrate with but we couldn’t get a sitter? Yeah. A 3rd cousin I’ve met less than a handful of times? No.

I just depends on the situation. If it's a wedding that I want to go to but can't for some reason then I would send a gift.

I always do. If it's someone I'm not particularly close to (ex. Last year I already had plans the weekend of my step-cousin's wedding, and while I would have attended if I were free, realistically we don't hang out outside of family stuff so we see each other once every year or two), I will still send a card and a $25 or $50 gift card.

Depends on my relationship with the person and reason for decline. I don’t feel super obligated, but I like to send a gift if I can. I never send cash for a wedding I don’t attend though, I always opt for an actual gift.

Man, I guess I need to rethink my approach! I send a gift anytime I have to decline an invitation whether that's a wedding, bridal shower, or baby shower. I was always taught it was the polite thing to do.

I will send a gift if I am invited to an event, but cannot attend whether it be a shower, wedding, etc. I think it is polite to do so.

It depends on the circumstances. If for some reason we can't make it to one of H's favorite cousins' weddings, then we would absolutely send something nice. We couldn't make it to our college friends' wedding last summer and didn't send them anything (partly because I was super salty about being addressed as "and guest" when I've known the groom since high school, and partly because everything on their registry was super-expensive).

At our own wedding, a couple people who declined sent us either a nice card or something from our registry.

If it were required to send a gift even though declining the invitation, gift grabby people would invite many hundreds of long-distance acquaintances to their weddings. A card of good wishes is required; a gift is not.

View Quoted Comment I was taught that as well. I give a gift Even if I don’t know the person that well

If I or we have a relationship with the couple then yes - if they are a far flung couple then I would send a card, perhaps a money gift. Sadly, I have been burnt way too may times in terms of graduation gifts and wedding gifts where I have received no thank you. I always put our return address label on the back of the card so there is no mystery to where we live, lol.

View Quoted Comment

That is because it is polite and proper to do so. According to Emily Post, if you receive an invite then you should send a gift regardless. End of story. Have I have breached that etiquette rule when it was a completely out of no where invite? Yes. But to me it was just as rude for them to invite me as a gift grab as it was for me to not send a gift.