Do you ever doubt your future spouse is the one?

Yes, very much so. Some people mat consider it a bad sign, but for me it was a serious evaluation, not just whether he makes me happy, but whether our fundamental goals and values are aligned

Thank you @DrJames

@Mrs. Sitzman I definitely agree with you that the "sweep you off your feet, Prince Charming" ideal is unrealistic. But what you said, how you knew at the end of the day it was right, is what I'm still struggling with, unfortunately.

I also don't believe in "the one." There is only the one that you make the conscious decision to love every day of your life.

It's important to evaluate the context of your doubts. Are they actually about yourself? Therapy is super helpful--make sure you find a therapist that you feel really comfortable with. Hang in there!

@Sydney - Maybe try what @Lyla suggested. It may help give you perspective on your relationship.

Yes I really like that @Lyla! Thank you for being so kind!

Hi Sydney - thank you for posting about this - these are hard feelings and it takes a lot of courage to face them. I went through this with my first engagement. You have so much great advice already, but I wanted ti add that I think it is worth reflecting on why you stay? For me, I had that nagging feeling for months. It only got worse; I felt that because I loved him, that I should stay and work it out. When I looked long and hard at why I stayed, I realized I was there because I thought I owed him that - that we had already made a committment when we got engaged. I was afraid of having to tell people that it hadnt worked out, everyone was so excited for us and I thought it must just be me. I was embarassed to have made the wrong decision in saying yes when at the same time I had been so sure. One night on the phone with my Dad he randomly just said he would support me, in anything; tht whatever I was feeling was okay. Like somehow he knew. I needed that validation to end it and move on, despite how difficult I knew it would be. In my experience, facing the realities of why I stayed helped me find the clarity I so desperately wanted. Perhaps it will help you.

I am engaged again now and couldnt be happier. I have never doubted. 50 years together hardly seems like enough time and I look forward to our future adventures. I hope that you find the same for yourself, either in your current FH or in the future with someone new.

At times those thoughts would arise (before the wedding), because we just "don't get a long all the time and he frustrates me."

But then I remember that I don't get a long with my mom all the time. And my sister.

I love that, @rdlb. That's a really great, and honest, way to look at the situation.