Do we REALLY need precana?

Kate is correct and Catholic priest wont marry you outside of the church, at least that is what I have found to be true

Have you found a Catholic priest to marry you outdoors? many won't

once you find one, ask him if he requires it

Good luck with this one. Most priests won't even marry Catholics who aren't members of their church, never mind outside.

If you have a home church, ask that priest. Precana is not such a bad idea for any couple, Catholic or not.

You will need precana to be married by a priest. It depends on your parish on whether or not they will marry you outdoors.

If I may ask, what is the big deal about catholic priests not marrying people outside? I don't get it.

We did find a priest that will marry us outside it just wont count to the church. I have to call him next month to set up precana and ask him if we ave to bc i totally thought it was like an interview and my friend just did it and said it took all day. was just wondering if anyone knew so i dont sound like a brat when i ask him ahha. Thanks ladies! =)

@supermanbride - beats the hell outta me! (see what i did there) =p

We weren't able to find a catholic priest to marry us anywhere that wasn't a church. And there are no churches in my area that will let you get married there unless you are an active member. This is why we're getting married at our reception venue.

I think the best way to find out the info about precana would be to ask whoever is officiating.

They just don't. And it they do, it doesn't "count".

The reason they don't marry outside is because the church is a holy space that has been blessed and is a sacred place were the spirit of the Lord can called upon. Granted the bible says, "Where ever two or more are gathered in his name, the spirit of the Lord is with them." But the Catholics like the brick and mortar tradition.

As for precana, I don't see why you would need it since the church isn't going to recognize it anyways. But if I may be honest, why the hell do you want it recognize in the first place? You sound more like Christmas and Easter parishioners....if the only reason you want it recognized is so eventually you can have kids baptized doesn't sound like your too involved now anyways. Family pressure maybe?

You don't have to renew your vows so much as just have your marriage blessed in the church. It's called a 'convalidation'. I guess it is sort of like a renewal of vows, but it won't need to be a big and expensive ceremony.

We're having a Catholic wedding and we did pre-cana and it was amazing and so much fun. It doesn't take a lot and it's not a crazy boring lecture (at least, mine wasn't). Sure, I wasn't too happy with having to give up a Saturday doing something other than pigging out and watching TV, but having the Matrimony Sacrament was important enough to me to just grit my teeth and deal with it for a day.

I'm not sure if you would need to take pre-cana for Convalidation though...it might be the loophole, lol.

@ Pamela that makes me feel better thanks!

@mrsstrobes - yes lots of family pressure and its already "weird" that were not getting married in the church bc its "tradition"

As much as precana is necessary for being married in the church... I find a lot of it is very useful when it comes to making the decision to get married. Too many people want a wedding without the thought of what comes after. I find precana a beautiful way to prepare for being husband and wife, and can help resolve things that cause problems in even the strongest of unions.

I personally think it is really important and scoots away the people who just want to get married without too much thought of the future. This is why people that have been married before, and then widowed, don't usually need it since they know what is required for marriage.

We did the Engaged Encounter weekend, and really enjoyed it. We didn't learn anything (negatively) surprising, but I couldn't believe we came away from it feeling even closer. It was a good experience, and I'd do it even if you aren't have a church wedding.

Every institution has rules. The Catholic Church is an institution. One of the Catholic Church's rules is that weddings must take place where people gather to worship on a regular basis, a consecrated and holy place. A wedding is a (church) community event and the ceremony is held where the community gathers.

Catholics do have other options. You can get married elsewhere (and not by a priest) and later have your marriage convalidated, which means the church recognizes it as a true marriage.

I'm not familiar with catholic customs...what is a precana?

Precana is, very simply put, religious pre-marital counseling that is required by the Catholic church.

As others have said, we really enjoyed our Precana weekend. We spent Saturday and Sunday at a retreat with other engaged couples. I was worried about having to talk about our relationship in a large group, and it wasn't like that. Married couples from the church spoke on four different topics that are key to marriage- communication, finances, spirituality, and sexuality. Each one was about an hour long then we were given time alone to write a response / reflection to a prompt on that topic. We then got together with our fiance and shared what we wrote. Like Paris, we didn't walk away shocked by anything but it opened up conversations and made us feel closer.

Just From my personal experience, I LOVED precana! And would recommend it. I have been with my FH 8+ years, we have a two year old and have been living together for 2 years and I still found it very interesting, helpful and kinnda fun! It's not all "religious" they give realistic advice that doesn't revolve around only god

We married at the County Records Office in August (for many personal reasons), but we are having our wedding convalidated in April in the Catholic Church in front of family and friends. It is a full wedding mass that will allow the Church to recognize our marriage. The Church sees it as the start of the marriage and doesn't consider it a vow renewal.

Pre-cana is required for convalidation. There is usually a different class for couples already married legally, but not married in the Church. It focuses more on Matrimony as a sacrament and a covenant with God. There is also the premarital bit, where they make sure you have discussed the big issues and have good communication (like what Allyson described).

I never did precana when I got married first time, our priest told us not to bother, but that is unusual

Why if you planning to have it convalidated later wouldnt you just have it in a church from the get go, seems like a lot of effort?

(Also children can be baptised into the catholic church regardless of the marital status of the parents, any priest who says he can't is breaking protocol and going against the latest information from the Vatican)

Mallory, I am so glad you just said this. Reading this thread made me have a heart attack thinking my future children couldn't be baptized because we weren't married in the church which I had never heard of.

We're getting married in the Episcopal Church and they require pre-marital counseling as well. We're 50 years old, and certainly know a lot more than we did when we were 25. That being said, I'm still looking forward to counseling with my FH.