Worst thing possible

I would be pissed and like PP stated would demand they fix their mistake by reimbursing something to make it right for you both. Our venue screwed up big time, we were nice and not rude about it and as a result they bent over backwards for us to make sure our wedding was amazing.

I'm angry for you that they felt this was okay to minimize and tell you through email. It's a huge deal and they should've called.

They breached the contract so they should reimburse you at MINIMUM your deposit but really their mistake is costing you the mess of changing dates (your family should be able to change their tickets this far ahead but idk what fees or restrictions would be applied) or the mess of finding a new venue nearby if anything is available. I would going after them to return your deposit, pay any unexpected variance in cost of a new venue, variance in mileage costs to other vendors, cost of std's if they had the venue info on them. If they refuse, involve a lawyer

Is there a place at the venue they could set up a tent? Maybe they could move your wedding or the other group into a tent if that is feasible. Perhaps they can come up with an alternative as they are breaking your contract

I agree, can they host it in a tent? They would be responsible for all the rentals that go with it of course!

At least you have plenty of time to look. Lately theres been a rash of venues that have closed the night before someones wedding unannounced. You have time. Time to put a new plan in motion ASAP.

So I'm not sure what you're looking for here. Is it advice? You've been given advice and you shoot everything down. If you don't have time, ask your FH to look for a venue. Ask another family member. Moving the date is an inconvenience but it's not the end of the world. I would expect someone in nursing school to understand the difference between frustrating and catastrophic.

You have three choices: ask the venue to honor your contract first, move venues, move dates. You have to find a solution within one of those three and it seems like the only solution you'll accept is the first one. You have to plan for all three or you can move on to the fourth option...not getting married at all.

In figuring out your extra costs, please don't do what many posters have suggested and just ask for new STDs and invitations and your deposit back. That's a fraction of the extra cost to you of moving venues. The new venue may be more expensive, with costlier food and drink, need new/more decor, your vendors may charge more to get there, you may have to rent buses to get your guests from their hotel to a further-away venue (and they cost thousands), and on and on. Their incompetence could end up costing you $5-10k or more, if the only venues available are pricier in every way.

This is not the worse thing possible. The worse thing possible is postponing your wedding because FH finds out he has cancer shortly after becoming engaged, going through chemo and not knowing if he will make it through. It may seem pretty bad now because you're in panic mode, but as PP have said, try working it out with the venue.

I full on enjoyed Elizabeth's mic drop. I'm sorry this is happening but it seems like they are very willing to work with you.

You have 2 options, change your date or change your venue. If it were me I would make a list of everything that would need to be changed for each option and figure out which one would be less of a hassle.

I also think setting up a tent is a great suggestion. Where do you live?

It's annoying and frustrating for you; I can tell you that being on the other side of the fence, it's probably just as frustrating and mortifying for them. Their delivery could have been better; I would never have approached a situation like this via email.

But you reminded me of "the worst thing possible", a memory sparked by the hurricane predictions for this weekend.

I was at a venue yesterday that was closed by Hurricane Sandy and the declaration of a state of emergency in NJ. All the guests were here already; many from very far away. The hotels and restaurants were all compromised and of course, the wedding was off.

We rescheduled that wedding (and the other five we had that weekend); many of our couples had to get new licenses, re-jigger their counts for the new dates. One couple ended up getting married in their living room. Another was married by one of my colleages in a different town that wasn't closed down; their license wasn't valid because in NJ, if you're out of state, you have to have a license from the exact town.

It sucks to think about people with worse disasters than you to make you feel better, but when I think disaster, I think fires, Rebar (as in Brooklyn, as in they disappeared weeks before dozens of weddings with ALL the money), sickness, deaths in families.

This can be dealt with. I can pretty much tell you that if your venue has a standing contract with a corporate account, that is what's going to hold, so don't count on that.

You need to find a new venue asap, ideally for the same date. Then figure out what you've lost in hard costs and ask them to reimburse you.

I think, at some point, it becomes a choice of how you'll spend your energy.

Diva, could you please, please use actual words?

@celia just use urban dictionary at this point to figure out what she's saying

Make them reimburse you for the STD and everything else. That is their mistake.

Edit: spelling

Maybe they can pay to re-order and buy everything you have purchased with a date on it. You can change your date by a week and make them pay for all things associated with the change.

If you have a contract they need to make it work as planned. Even if they rent a tent as someone else suggested. I would tell them you're seeing an attorney if they don't honor your contract. Be calm about it but matter of fact. Someone else can move. That's BS right there.

Ohhhh my goodness people she already said the title was misleading!! Move on from that. Think about how stressful it would be to find out you don't have a venue 7 months out. Obviously there are worse things in the world, but that doesn't take away the stress of the situation.

Is there a different area on the property that you could use for the reception? Maybe an outdoor area or something? The venue could rent a tent and heaters if the weather is a concern.

My ceremony was to be held by a pond, which can still happen. It's a 900 acre area, but my problem is the only place with a kitchen (for the caters I've already hired) is in the area they're now telling me I can't use. I live in a small town called Spencer, WV. So for anyone to already have the food prepared before bringing it, would be anywhere from 45 minutes- an hour away. The food would be cold... So that's not an option. It's also the only place with electricity so even setting up a tent somewhere wouldn't really work. I have contacted another venue that's about an hour away from where I wanted to have it. So the majority of my elderly church family most likely won't attend now. Anyway they have the day open. It's going to cost extra, I'm not sure about my caterer, and they don't have a dance floor. It's just a lot of extra expenses. I did not ever intend to go in hostile to begin with, like some of you have suggested I would. I plan to conduct myself like a respectful individual but I WILL NOT brush this off as if it doesn't affect me. It's a huge deal. And please people, this is the 3rd time I've mentioned that I am fully aware that my title is a bit over the top. Changing the date when you're a few weeks out is fine, but after announcing it to everyone you know and love for 5 months, it's not something I really want to do. Living in a small, rural area makes it a lot harder to up and change everything. Most everyone I've hired is from my town and making them drive farther, makes the once non-existing travel fee, a very LARGE existing travel fee. Thanks for the encouragement and ideas from the majority of you though!

I would still tell them you're getting an attorney and try and force them to honor the contract. They can move someone else. They probably figure you will allow this. The squeaky wheel and all

That's such a bummer. Make sure if you can change the date the venue takes off a huge percentage for their mistake!

Stop with the lawyers everyone already; several of them here said this is NOT the best first step.

I dont understand why changing the date is a few weeks out is worse than changing it now.

Honestly, it sounds like you're making some assumptions that may or may not be true, and I bet you'll feel much calmer after you get some actual information.

Caterers don't necessarily need kitchens OR electricity. We used to cater with cambros (essentially giant thermos containers) all the time in our parks and other places with no kitchens. The food was hot, and actually, for a caterer, it's easier than cooking onsite.

There are generators for electricity if you need that for lighting. Tents can pretty much be set up anywhere.

If they can find another space for you and they can cover a tent, tables and chairs (and possibly a cook tent; we've done that too, with propane field stoves), I would talk to a few caterers and get their ideas.

Travel fees are often not always what you fear either. You're in a bridge season for most areas; you may find that your vendors are more willing to work with you than you think.

Believe me, I understand panic, but don't panic any more until you've explored the possibilities and get real numbers. They have a motivation to work with you to make it happen, and it sounds like it can, but before you can really have a productive conversation with them, you need to know what your desired plan B would be; it sounds like it could be pretty close to plan A.

It seems like it would be way easier to change the date and keep the venue. I know you don't necessarily want to but it might save you some stress! Sending out a postcard with the new info is a lot less time consuming than looking for a new venue.