Did we just got B Listed!!!!

Sounds like it. i can see being offended but honestly, i wouldn't care. lol. i get an invite, or i don't. after planning my own wedding, as a b-listed guest, i wouldn't be mad.

ETA: i just saw @stephanie's comment. she has a point. it COULD have just been that they sent STDs to just people they thought would really need them? but that's not super likely. imo, i think eveyrone should get STDs and i think that's usually standard.

I'm with Valerie! If you don't already have plans...go eat their free food and booze it up for the night!

I didn't send STDs to everyone I was inviting as well. When I sent them, there was a few people I was iffy about inviting. But the fact that the RSVP is due in a couple weeks, that's what makes me think, yes, you were B-listed. BUUUUTTTT I have had some serious issues with the USPS and people not getting their invitation. I sent mine out and a GM didn't get his, we didn't get it back until almost 6 weeks later, I believe. So its possible that yours was just lost in USPS outer space and finally got to you.

I'm not sure how I feel about the B-list. Yes, I think its rude to B-list someone, but I also see valaries take on it. I would probably decline.

He wants to go, the drive is about 2 hours.. My best friend lives where it is so I would get to stay with her and spend time with her and her BF which would be totally amazing. I don't feel bad with it because we had to make cuts big time so I completely understand! We didn't even know when the wedding was till the invite showed up. DHs best girl - friend from HS is in the wedding so it'll be like a little HS reunion for him haha. Just was a tad taken back by it. He wants to go.. we have a free place to stay and I get to see my best friend.. win win I guess.

I didn't send STDs out to everyone- just mainly out of towners and closer family. Actually my FMIL handed them out to a lot of people and we just mailed out 25 or so. None of my FH's friends got them- he is working on addresses yet for them....

Probably. Honestly I would still go if I would have wanted to go under normal circumstances.

Maybe her FMIL has boycotted the wedding and pulled out their entire 15 person family (wink) that the bride didnt want there anyway but HAD to invite. Maybe you guys are the ones they really wanted there in the first place? Maybe they just forgot to add you to the list, originally? Maybe they only have a 2-3 week rsvp time, which is actually the norm? Are they your friends? Do you want to go? Then go and enjoy, and be happy they were able to invite you and include in on there day....for whatever reason!

FH and I were B listed before. The issue was that the bride told me to my face. "You guys are on our B list" Ok then, thanks. We did get offended because the groom is one of FH childhood friends who is now one of our GM.....I think the way she went about it was super wrong and I'm still in shock....their wedding was 2yrs ago Lol

ETA: I wasn't offended for not being invited, i was offended by what she said. She should have just left it at "we're having a small wedding"

I think as weddings get more and more expensive, b-lists will be more common. Nowadays, it's either get married at a park to be able to afford to invite everyone you know, or use a B-list.

@Allison USPS sucks and we had people not get their invites or their thank yous!!! ugh! but we were JUST asked for our address last week... which makes me think B-Listed...

I wouldn't be hurt it it was a friend's wedding, I get how it is. Family comes first, but if they decline and the money is already put aside, get some friends to go! On the other hand, if they were family or significantly far from you (2 hrs is borderline), then I would definitely decline. If I'm not important enough to be invited in the first round, then you're not important enough for me to hop on a plane or drive 6 hours to get to you. No hard feelings in either case, it's just reality.

A guest is a guest is a guest. We can't all be A-listers all the time. Go and enjoy the festivities - like some of the other girls say, eat their food and drink their alcohol - they're offering!

@KM that is so true... it's sad! It's like if the word wedding comes up, the cost jumps so high!

I just wish we were asked for our address a little differently I guess after seeing the date and rsvp turn around...

Could have been said hey we have some people that won't be able to make it and because of that would love to invite yall as family came first. or something... idk DH is kinda confused by it.. I just told him to let it slide and we will go lol

Yep. I would decline! I think that's so rude. My brother B-listed my finace (before we were engaged) and I'm still pissed as hell about that. He said I had a +1 (I was in the bridal party and travelling 8 hours by car to his wedding), so I invited FH. THEN my bro & SIL didn't include a +1 on my invitation and told my mother I wasn't allowed one. So I UNINVITED FH and made travel plans for myself. Then 2 weeks before the wedding my brother tried to tell me it was OK if he wants to come because a lot of people has RSVP'd "no".

I can't.

I'd say you were B listed. But if you can I would probably still go. If the travel isn't expensive. And by expensive like if you need a hotel and more than a weeks worth of gas... no. B/C usually when I decline I send a gift. My former best friend got married last year she invited me (wasnt surprised, I drove her to there first date 8 years ago). But of course I wasnt going to spend money to travel to attend. I send a gift card to one of the registry places, in a card and my RSVP decline before the deadline. I def would feel obligated to buy a more expensive gift if I actually attend (local or not). I look at the under $50 gifts on a registry for 1. ppl who don't got it in there budget (typically younger invitees) 2. shower gifts 3. nonfamily invitees who arent coming but still want to send a little something

Maybe it was an honest mistake, and they didn't mean to overlook you. maybe they sent out everyone's invitations late, and they only sent STD's to select people. maybe their crazy in-laws are controlling the guest list... i mean, unless you ask them point blank if you were on the B list, there's really no way to know for sure what happened. It sounds like you'll have a good time going, so what's the point in being offended?

I don't think people think you B-listed them because you were selective about who received STDS, Chloe. In fact, I think you did the right thing with your STDs. I think OOT guests should get them because they do need to plan and finance the trip. For local guests who can drive, a regular invitation is perfectly acceptable (and so much safer. If something happens that causes you to have to cut the guest list after the STDs have gone out -- and we've heard from brides who have been faced with that awkward issue -- nobody will be confused about the invitation that never arrived after the STD).

In the OP's case, it's the RSVP time limit that's leading her to question the B-listing. A response time of 2 - 3 weeks is a pretty clear indicator that enough declines have been received, and now they're going down the B-list. It's a completely personal issue, but I would expect to be invited to the wedding of a couple who were invited to my wedding (assuming it is not an intimate, family only wedding). I know some people have no problem with being B-listed, but I would probably decline. For me -- not for everyone, but for me -- it feels like I'm being used to meet a quota with their venue. Like I said, that's me. Sure you can attend and eat and drink on their dime, but remember, weddings are not free to attend. At the end of the day, all that matters is how you interpret being B-listed. If you find no reason to be offended, great. If it offends you, just decline.

Are u going .. and Yes that is B Listed.

Totally agree with a lot of the above posters. So many people use the B list, and most people I know (including myself, at least a few times) have been B listed. In a perfect world we would invite everyone we know, all at the same time. That's impossible, due to budgets and smaller venue sizes. Life goes on...

I wouldnt be hurt because I understand the family first thing - FH has a massive family, and we had no idea how many of them were going to come. So my parents friends got b-listed, and then invited as soon as we knew people weren't coming, mind you, they dont know because our invites haven't even gone out, but we already have some of FH's family saying they will not be able to make it for health or travel reasons.

Also agree that they may have sent out STDs to OOT people or family only.

ETA: One more thing. If the standard invite timeline is 6-8 weeks, isnt it likely that response time of 3 weeks sounds right? to give them time to chase people down and get numbers into the venue?