Destination Wedding Guilt

I think you shouldn’t feel guilty. The wedding is about what you and FH want. Guests have the option of not coming if they can’t afford it or don’t feel like traveling or whatever. I think the complaining is a little selfish. Please please please let go of the guilt and know that you can’t please everyone. If you would have had it at a more convenient/cheaper place people would still find something else they didn’t like OR those same people wouldn’t even come for another reason. It’s hard not to try to accommodate everyone but really you should focus on accommodating yourself because really you are the only one bats GUARANTEED to come lolol. Good luck and I hope you can find peace!

Thats* not bats hahaha. Spell check showing out!

Don’t feel guilty. They have the option of declining. You have the wedding you want and as long as you and FH are happy that’s all that matters

Oh no!!! Don’t cancel anything!! This is your day and you FH’s day!! Do the wedding you’ve always wanted to have.. I myself am doing a destination wedding, and lots of people suggested Florida too but I been there and if I’m paying for a destination wedding then it has to be outside of the states.. but that’s me.. the way I see it and what I’ve told my FH is that whoever cares enough to show up will show up, if not then it’s fine. Not everyone has the money or time to attend a destination wedding and that is understandable.... at the end of th day, as long as my parents and his parents are there then I’m happy. Anyone else is an added bonus

Try to let the guilt go as best as you can! Honestly, it's your wedding and some people won't make it but you and your FH will And some people will complain and end up there with you anyway if it's really feasible for them lol

Just brush it off. People will complain no matter what. We have ppl all over the country so it’s not convenient for everyone no matter where we have it but all I’ve heard is why can’t you have it in Charlotte? Charleston? California? Colorado? It’s just impossible to please ppl do what makes you happy.

We're doing the Keys ON a holiday. I don't feel guilty at all, simply say with all sincerity, "I totally understand if you can't make it, you'll be missed". Those who come are going to have a great vacation and three very well-hosted parties. The most important guests are ourselves and our immediate families. If no one else comes, I totally understand, but I am not going to feel guilty about it.

What you could do, if you can afford it, is have a reception back home after you return from your honeymoon - basically a big party - for the people who can't make it.

Thank you all so much!!!!! You dont jnow how helpful it is to hear that its ok to move forward with what I want to do, despite the negative feedback Ive gotten from some. Ahhhhh...such a relief! My fiance and I did think about hosting a lunch for guests that couldnt attend when we get back. How do you word something like that on an invite?

Jade, agreeing with the above comments this is YOUR day! I think it's awesome that you are having the beach wedding you've always wanted! Someone is always going to be upset by the plans but you can't let that get to you! It's so nice that you are not only hosting the wedding but also a dinner before and a breakfast after! As for the wording on the invite for the lunch at home, I would say something like "Mr & Mrs Smith invite you to celebrate their recent marriage with them at the (place) on (date)!

BRUSH IT OFF. They are adults and can choose if attending your wedding is something they can afford or not. It is pretty selfish of them to complain about the cost, they don't have to come!

I know everyone else has already said it, but definitely do NOT feel guilty!! FH and i are doing a DW, and FFIL said “ok but that’s asking people to spend money on flights and for their stay, what if they can’t do that?” to which FH and i BOTH responded “then we’ll miss them!”

the wedding is is for you two, don’t ever let anyone try to convince you otherwise!

Hi! Destination wedding to Mexico in the plans right here.


Girlfriend, do what’s best for you and your fiancé. Your closest friends and family will make the trip and will keep (most) of their opinions to themselves. You’ll never make everyone happy.. so make yourselves happy.

Don't feel guilty. But if your FI wants to do a further away location, and you are thinking that additional cost would be too much, then it is time to think of marrying at home, and honeymoon at the beach. Or expect very few if any to come when you marry at the beach, take your honeymoon. Have a photographer still. And plan ahead to have a reception for the recently married couple, where you either have a receiving line, or more often, make a point of visiting every table to say a few words to everyone. Standard reception format. And once you finish speeches, toasts, dinner, all the usual, anything you want to do , you might consider having a photographer (not a photo booth) for an hour or two. He can set up a backdrop that is solid fabric if need be, and take posed photos of the two of you with family, or close friends, any you ask for. This to replace pics you will miss if almost no one is at the beach. Once you have done any special dances, had a breather, you can pull aside just the few people in each family, or friends you want pics with. Most brides do not wear a wedding dress to a later reception, unless a quite simple one, but there is nothing to stop you if you want too. You can just get a less expensive evening gown or fancy cocktail dress you will wear again. Or wore on your honeymoon when you went out. So you have options. My personal opinion is you do not want to choose to have family and friends to Spring Break week in Florida Beach areas. The level of all day all night rowdiness means you may not be able to set off a small area of beach for your group, even for an hour. So you have often drunk mobs of students running and playing volleyball and Frisbee and such throughout. A lot of Florida towns that normally issue permits to restrict a small portion of beach, even for a restaurant venue, will not do it for 10 days, 2 weekends, at least, of spring break. So every picture will have half dressed beach goers surrounding your group, or running through. The weeks before and after, so much easier.. And so many people in the student crowd are willing to have 5-8 people in 1 or 2 rooms, motels and inns and short term rentals jack up their prices, then add on some because they expect damage, and the people leave town. So unless in a place that owns a beach and gives you a deal, you and guests may pay 1½ to 2 X the usual room cost and food cost then. Do whichever you want for yourselves. But there is nothing wrong with just yourselves and a few others. And right from the start, sending out invitations for a reception for after your honeymoon, for everyone else, and anyone you did send DW invitations too who tell you they cannot attend. Hard decision, but yours to make, not other people's. Don't be bullied.

Brush it off!!! I had the same feelings but I also knew that they didn't have to come either. Our day was perfect (not everyone can come and we were ok with that) I couldn't have asked for anything more from our day and I'm glad we didn't scrap the idea when we wanted too because of other people's opinions.

Dont cancel for guests opinions! Those who really want to be there will make the effort. Ours is a destination wedding for everybody except his immediate family and we literally invited people from Washington to Floriday (it's in New Jersey!)
People are going to have their gripes about something and I know it's hard to hear over and over (my grandma was harping on our original wedding date!) But it's ok to say "no this is what we want."

I have that once and awhile as well. Just the money we are bringing for eating and partying and everything is mind blowing. I got really good deals on hotels and flights for us and thankfully most of our guests either have money or were able to get a good deal as well. I was just shocked that so many people wanted to spend money to travel for us.

I feel guilty from time to time, but partially because we're not having a huge event. There's nothing to be done about it though. I'm sure you did your due diligence with your VIPs, so as long as they're on board, try to forget the naysayers. Just remember why you chose the venue and date that you did. . I didn't want to do a holiday weekend, but that's what would work on our timeline at our dream venue. So far I think the only complaints we've had was that we weren't inviting more people. And that's a different conversation entirely.

We had this issue when choosing location. We are all from south Ga, and the original location was PCB...my grandmother traveling was the only reason we didn’t go that far. We decided on Driftwood Beach for our ceremony and reception immediately after at my cousins restaurant on St. Simons, but we (FH, my son, and myself) will be leaving about an hour or two after our ceremony to travel to PCB. This is our day, and we have to live with the way we choose to do things. So my best advice is to do what makes you and your fiancé happy. In the end, you have to live with the “what if’s” if you choose to make changes to please others. If you make big changes that are important to you both in order to satisfy someone else, will you still be as happy with the outcome? Focus on what makes the two of you happy. Those who choose to show their support, and are financially able, will show up regardless if its in Antarctica.

Hello, I had a similar problem we are planning a destination wedding in tulum mx. And I felt the same way and my FH tells me at the end of the day the people who care about us the most will make the effort to go and if they cant that's okay. Just remember it's your day and no one else's so make yourself happy