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Devoted May 2016

Dealing with an embarrassing father....

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bwren, on December 15, 2015 at 9:47 AM

My father has always had very politically incorrect viewpoints, and will argue with anyone who asks him not to be extremely vocal about them. My fiance and I do not share these viewpoints in any way, and neither do the rest of our families. Our wedding will be fairly diverse, and I'm worried about my father causing a lot of problems (he ruined my college graduation by using a lot of hate speech, and when I asked him to stop he argued with me about how it was a free county and he could say what he wanted). How do I approach him and tell him that this will not be tolerated at my wedding? I don't want to cause a ton of drama, but I also don't want my wedding ruined.

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Devoted May 2016
bwren · on December 16, 2015 at 9:48 AM
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I really appreciate everyone's input! I'm going to call him today and talk to him (face to face isn't an option, I probably won't even see him until my wedding day). Hopefully he will shock me and will be understanding, but if not....we will just have to see how it goes. Thank you, everyone!
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Master May 2016
Kaylie · on December 16, 2015 at 9:54 AM
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Everyone has given wonderful advice so I don't have anything to add other than good luck talking to him, and I truly hope it works out for you. I'm sorry you have to go through something like this. It's the last thing someone should be worrying about on their wedding day.
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Master May 2012
Zoe · on December 16, 2015 at 3:35 PM
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Try, "Dad, I respect your right to say what you want. You must respect my right to try and keep my guests happy and my party running as I want it. If you insist on bringing up topics such as... (list a few and be as specific as you can) I may have to ask you to leave, and I won't hesitate to do so."
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