Dad’s wife was his mistress and mom doesn’t want her at my wedding

Wow. Sorry you're in this unnecessary drama. As one poster said "if she's still angry after seven years" she needs therapy. This is your day and your dads money. You have the option of rejecting the money and let mom pay for it or tell mm that it would hurt your heart if she's not present at one of the biggest celebrations of your life. It's about you and the groom and dad's money. lol

Synagogue's have no view on "sinners" as sinning is not a part of Judaism. Beyond all of your other misinformed statements, this is a black-and-white one.

So go ahead and listen to somewhat people’s opinion about father bringing mistress to wedding cause of money and let mom smile where nobody respects her….

I'm sorry for your experience but it really doesn't have anything to do with the OP's situation. Misrepresenting all religions in order to bolster your point is not appropriate and doesn't help your argument.

I do again suggest that you seek help for what seems like very intense trauma. My best to you.

What a difficult situation to be in! It sounds like your mom was/is pretty torn up about your dad's betrayal. Something you may want to consider is that because your dad is footing the bill for the wedding, he may expect that his new wife will be a focus of attention and honor in place of your mother. I would guess that your mom isn't trying to be vindictive or controlling but is reacting out of a deep hurt. It may feel demeaning to your mom, who sacrificed and raised you, that she is "a guest" at her own daughter's wedding while your father and his new wife will have the honor of being the hosts. While it's true that she needs to get some counseling and work on forgiving your dad and moving on, this type of situation would really be salt on her wounds. Is it really worth hurting your mom just to have the cash for a reception? I'm not saying you should or shouldn't allow your dad to pay for your wedding. It's a very generous offer. However, after what's transpired in your family, should his financial contributions take top priority? Many people will advise a bride that your wedding day is all about you. However, remember that your mom has probably spent your lifetime daydreaming of the day her daughter gets married. Because of your dad's affair, she's had to say good-bye to many hopes and dreams already. Do you really want to add your wedding to that list? If it were me, I'd rather give my mom the place of honor and pay for my own wedding/reception.