Court house wedding - etiquette question - UPDATED

1. I was no "flaming" you.

2. No one expects a three course meal, but they do expect more than cheese and dip.

3. A "cocktail style" dinner will probably cost MORE than a regular buffet. 20 apps are not cheap, if you are actually doing it in the correct way.

4. Etiquette is not an opinion, so don't make it seem like one.

@Vanilla I noticed that you changed your avatar and your wedding date from 06/2018 to 01/2018. You can't hide chickadee.

@gymrat I fed.

@MrsVoegs I hope it goes smoothly. I did the same with FH. At the end, I didn't budge and now he is excited about having all of our friends be there to witness. We picked a really great menu, and he is excited to have them all "remember our wedding because of awesome food." For him, it will be a party and a one-stop shop.

@AyEmVee good suggestion but I don't know many people who would want cake and punch at 10pm. Cake and punch reception is more a day time thing. If that is the way to go, then change the timeline to 1130 am ceremony.

My sister did a small ceremony (4 people) followed by a private family dinner (20 people) the same day. The following day was a huge BBQ in the park open to all. No - not everyone attended the ceremony, yes - some of us were pissed off (self-included) that they were not invited to the ceremony but ultimately got over it when the rationale was explained (kinda).

Perhaps your FH would be open to a cocktail reception earlier in the day? If not, separating the events by a day might be best.

I'll repeat myself as well.... Vanilla, why are you so proud of being out and out rude to your guests?

OP, good luck!

Oh I'm not hiding. I'll stick around. Don't worry. But yes I'm going ton make sure I have tacos in my hand when welcoming guests to my shit wedding with spam haha!

Back to the original topic...The cake and punch reception is a great idea! The best I've heard. And it avoids your FHs ideas being rejected.

Head desk.

You can't do cake and punch at 10 PM. And cocktail style weddings always cost more than a simple three course meal.

I think OP is on the right track. Vanilla, on the other hand, is not.

@Swin I appreciate your comments. Perhaps the anti pasto/Charcuterie doesn't explain well enough, but we will be having hot and cold dishes with lots of taste and texture variety. You're constructive criticism is well done!

I'm quite confident that my guests will have fun and enjoy the night. Indeed I've told everyone already and everyone is happy with my terrible wedding.

How I picture Celia right now....

My FH and I were going to have a wedding but now we want to the courthouse. I haven't figured out how we should celebrate with out family and friends yet.

@Celia is probably ready to blow her lid at me haha!

@Dominique the correct answer is "however you want!!" <3

...... I just wanted some advice on how to talk some etiquette sense into my FH.....

@vanilla. Her and I both. It seems you just want to start trouble.

You are giving bad advice on purpose while laughing it off.

You have one star, changed your avatar and wedding date twice, and already have a timeline. For a date in a year.

@gymrat was right about you vanilla.

Sorry my terrible wedding hijacked your thread OP. I don't think "it's rude, here is what these rude people on WW say!" Is the way to approach it with your FH. Talk about what you value, what he values (not what his mom wants), work it out together and compromise. Maybe you won't have the most etiquette wedding ever, and there is 100% knowing your audience involved, but at least it'll be something you guys know you worked through together.

Voegs, I'm sorry. It sucks when someone with bad advice hijacks a thread.

AND she hijaked my post!! hahahahahaha

Head desk. for sure.

@MrsVoegs your thread was hijacked by a troll and several of us fed into it, including me.

I'm sorry. Please take the good advice and let us know how the talk goes with your soon to be.

It's different opinions. Something WW could use.

Yes I totally fed it. Sorry, but it kept giving terrible advice and I can't bear to think about poor impressionable lurkers getting terrible ideas from it.

ETA: Spelling. It must be Friday afternoon.

If your guests are local and a younger crowd (which was just the vibe I got), I really don't see a problem with serving booze, cake and snacks at 10 p.m. (though ideally, you'd start around 8 or 9 p.m.) Just a suggestion nobody had made.

Mrs. V., I think you're just going to have to put your foot down and explain to FH why a tiered reception isn't good etiquette. The whole "i'm good enough to give a gift but not to see your ceremony or eat dinner" vibe your guests might get should be a good enough explanation.