Court house wedding - etiquette question - UPDATED

Vanilla, you better have fucking "sprung for premium" on the bar if they're not getting dinner. LOL.

I get it OP. Its the same with FH mom's too. Is there a way you can have a small wedding? My friend had a list of 50, still private, intimate, and a party, but with only of their closest 50.

If he doesn't agree to something, I vote hog tie. LOL.

@vanilla you don't care about serving dinner to your guests, but you do care about having them watch your ceremony. Also.... legit question: Why is your entire timeline planned more than year out?! Your wedding isn't for another year plus change.

@Vanilla - How many guests are you having? What kind of venue?

Yes, this is a tiered reception and it's rude. Leave it at the dinner that you host for your intimate group.

Also.... vanilla: you can have bridesmaids without them having to purchase a new dress. They can just come as they are and you don't have to call them "faux" bridesmaids.

I think everyone would be happier with beer wine and dinner over slices of lunch meat and premium drinks...

@ Mrs Katie K cocktail ceremony and reception at an old factory. It's a pretty cool vibe. It's a cocktail party that happens to be a wedding. We regularly do antipasto/charcutrie for a meal and it's great. I get it's off the traditional, but it is "rude" because people want a 3 course meal? meh whatever. Again I said I didn't care if I got flamed on here haha! The only reason we're getting tacos is because I love that taco truck for photos!

So the only reason you are KINDA giving your guests any sort of food (although who's staying around until 11 starving? I wouldn't) is for a PHOTO PROP?

Right-o @swin!

So feed yourself dinner, take photos, and antipasta for everyone else. Seriously though.... timeline?

No Vanilla, just no. If I showed up at 7 and found out there was dinner at 6 that I wasn't invited to I'd be inclined to leave to have dinner. Are you paying for said "light meal beforehand" you're offering on your website?

But only the family and "faux" bridal party are getting tacos at the taco truck.

Also... I'mma leave this here.

"cocktail party", guests will expect this:

A cocktail dinner menu combines a selection of hot and cold hors d'œuvres with a variety of textures, tastes and colours. If served as a complete meal, you should prepare 16 to 20 pieces per person, 6 to 8 cold and 10 to 12 hot. However, if you serve them buffet-style, allow for a few more.

This is what you are providing:

meats, cheeses, dips, seasonal veg, fruit.

SEE THE DIFFERENCE?

@swin, she said she was going to put info on her website telling her guests that they weren't going to get dinner. "I'm spelling it out for them." O_o If I was her guest, I would be tempted to crash the taco bus for dinner.

I'm still waiting to hear why the timeline is already done?

ETA: I agree with swin and centerpiece.

Don't feed the troll guys. Looking at Vanilla.

Lol I try to be around 15 minutes early for things (I was raised by chronically late parents and it's a pet peeve now)... I would turn around, take my gift and leave if I walked in to you and your "faux" bridal party eating tacos and not giving me any at 6:45

@Gymrat Thank you! I almost lost myself there.

Update us on what dear FH says OP.

@2B, Thanks, I will. I'm expecting a pretty stressful and emotional conversation with FH tomorrow and may need to vent! BUT I am going to put my foot down and tell him our options are either small ceremony, small dinner, and done OR everyone comes, everyone gets food, everyone is happy.

From WI myself. Although I've never been invited to just the reception...it is not totally unheard of.

Perhaps intimate wedding/dinner n party after honeymoon?!?

@OP, sounds like you're going in the right direction!

Just do what you and your husband want OP. If it's unreasonable to do a 3 course meal for everyone, you want this "wedding etiquette" then do cocktail style. Someone posted guidelines above for how to do the cocktail style food while they were flaming me. Why not do that? It's a bit of both worlds. You both get a bit of what you want.

Could you do the private intimate ceremony and then have a larger cake and punch reception?

Start your private family-only ceremony at 8 p.m. Take pictures at 9 p.m. Have cake and punch and party the night away at 10 p.m. (or some similar-type timeline that doesn't interfere with meals).

That's really the only thing I can think of that kind of compromises and follows etiquette.. You could then do a next-day brunch with the family who attended your ceremony if you wanted to do something a bit more special for them, but it wouldn't' be called a reception...just a family brunch.

This way you're not tiering...get the private ceremony you want and the bigger party afterward without buying dinner for everyone.