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Just Said Yes May 2018

Couple from different countries. Where to have a wedding?

frenchlavender, on August 1, 2017 at 11:37 AM Posted in Planning 0 9
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Hi Guys,

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who had to go through this so plslet me know what you guys did or what you think. My fiance and I are from different countries, he's from America and I'm from the Philippines.

We have no clue where to have a wedding. I really wanted to have a ceremony here since I have a lot of friends here that I want to be in my wedding but at the same time, it's hard for my family to obtain visas to come here. My fiancé also wants to get married here since he has his family and friends here and would love to have them be in the wedding.

We were thinking of doing a destination wedding in the Caribbean but the cost of them flying from the Philippines can get pretty pricey also. We were considering also of having two weddings, 1 in the Philippines and the other one here in America but I don't think I can handle the part that no one will be walking me down the isle. I'm just gonna end up crying. Smiley sad

Pls let me know what u guys think!

9 Comments

Latest activity by SpringBride2018, on August 1, 2017 at 2:41 PM
  • Amanda
    Super October 2017
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    I love the idea of two weddings where you can fully embrace the cultures of each place. Is there a friend or in-law that could step in to walk you down the aisle?

    • Reply
  • Z_Runner
    VIP June 2017
    Z_Runner ·
    • Flag

    Hawaii? "Middle" point for the 2 families to meet.

    • Reply
  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
    • Flag

    East coast US and Puerto Rico aren't as far as your situation. I was also debating where to have the wedding but our families gave their input and ended up agreeing. My side wanted the wedding in PR for family members who can't afford to travel. His side was super excited about making a vacation out of it.

    You have a tough decision. The visas also complicate things. Can you try to get your parents here and focus on their visiting visas? Then have a second celebration in the Philippines. Take some time to think about it and acknowledge that people may be upset but you can't please everyone 100%. If you decide to have two celebrations, really focus on budget. That can get out of hand quickly.

    • Reply
  • Ella
    Super August 2017
    Ella ·
    • Flag

    I've had a two friends in similar situations, and they both ended up basically having two weddings. one was more of an actual wedding, though, with a ceremony, bridal party, etc., and the other was more of a reception/party if that makes sense.

    • Reply
  • Embunny
    Dedicated September 2017
    Embunny ·
    • Flag

    Thats great advice from @Maria. Take your time to think about it.

    My family is from Argentina but I've lived in the US most of my life and my FH is from NJ so we pretty quickly decided to have our wedding in NY. We knew that his family and most friends would be able to make it. Thankfully my parents are based in the U.S. so I wasn't worried about that.

    What I didn't realize at the time we decided to have the wedding in NY is that the trip would be really difficult for most of my extended family so most of them are not coming. I think I will have around 8 family members at the wedding. It was disappointing but thats reality for us.

    I think the most important thing for you, it sounds like, is that your close family / parents can be present. I like Maria's advice of focusing on getting your parents visas to the US and having the wedding in the US. That will probably be easier for you to plan too. But talk to your family and see whats most realistic. You can always do a trip to the Phillippines with your fiancé and celebrate in a small way there as well.

    I would steer clear of doing two weddings tho! Too much work, money and stress!

    • Reply
  • Megan
    Dedicated June 2018
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    If it were me, I would have one wedding. If family and friends cannot come for whatever reason, they cannot come. It is going to happen even if both families lived in the same country.

    But if a large chunk of whosever family cannot come, maybe take your honeymoon in that country and organize a get together in that time. That way you can see family from both sides. It doesn't have to be another reception, those get to be expensive. Especially since you will have already had one. Maybe organize a dinner at a restaurant or get together at someone's house and BBQ.

    ****Airfare to and from the Philippines is expensive. No matter what you decide, make sure you book your wedding NOT during prime travel season. I went to the Philippines for a study abroad trip right after Christmas and my ticket there and back was almost 4K. Just for me alone. If we would have gone another time, it might have been less expensive. Now add boarding, food, etc. No matter where you choose to have your wedding, someone is going to be spending a ton of money just to get there.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsModern
    Dedicated November 2018
    FutureMrsModern ·
    • Flag

    I had a similar situation - I am from America and FH is from England. Although he has lived here for about 7 years, all of his family and a lot of his best friends are still in England. We seriously considered having the wedding in England or having two weddings, as you mentioned. It pretty much came down to the planning. It would have been so stressful to plan a wedding in another country, even with his family there to help. Then, adding in a couple of trips over to see venues, etc... it would have cost us a ton of money just to plan. We finally decided to have the wedding in the US, but to have a long engagement to give his family and friends time to save money and plan for the trip. It also doesn't hurt that we live in Florida, so it didn't take any convincing to get people to turn it into a vacation. Since most people will come over for 1-2 weeks, FH also decided to have his bachelor party the weekend before the wedding to save his friends an extra trip over here, or to make sure those who couldn't afford to fly over twice could join. Our wedding is next November, and we have also planned to spend Christmas in England that year, so we can celebrate with anyone who is not able to join us for the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Megan
    Dedicated June 2018
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    Especially in this situation, you are not going to please everybody. So once you and your fiance make a decision, stick to it. It's going to be difficult and you will want to cave in at times but this is your wedding, not theirs.

    You seem like you are trying to accommodate everyone by trying to meet in the middle. But destination wedding price tags are sometimes a lot higher than if it was on the mainland. Airfare, rooms for several days, food from the restaurants (instead of the grocery store), etc. It all adds up. Also be prepared to have to foot the bill yourself if you are asking all your family members to put that much money just to attend your wedding.

    You may have less guests to pay for so the wedding price tag may be less but everything else added in might end up costing more money in the end.

    • Reply
  • SpringBride2018
    Super April 2018
    SpringBride2018 ·
    • Flag

    I think you could do two small weddings in each place and that would be pretty special if your finances can afford it. I know my family had briefly mentioned wanting me to do just a ceremony in China so mostly my grandparents could feel a part of the day.

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