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Lynnie
WeddingWire Administrator October 2016

Cheating - Red Flag or Deal Breaker?

Lynnie, on August 13, 2019 at 11:46 AM

Posted in Family and Relationships 85

Last question!! Do you firmly believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater"? Or is a history of cheating just a red flag for you? Red flag or a deal breaker? ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Thanks for weighing in on these relationship hurdles! If you missed any questions you can start from the beginning here: Red Flag or...

Last question!! Do you firmly believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater"? Or is a history of cheating just a red flag for you?

Red flag or a deal breaker?


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Thanks for weighing in on these relationship hurdles! If you missed any questions you can start from the beginning here: Red Flag or Deal Breaker?

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85 Comments

  • A
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
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    I wouldn't judge him for his past...but, he would only cheat on me once.
    Definitely a deal breaker and the big D!
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    Deal breaker.

    Just, hand's down, no contest, deal breaker.

    Tells me they are bad at communication, they lie, they can't handle problems... just all around bad.

    • Reply
  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    100% deal breaker. My ex husband knew this and cheated on purpose to get out of the marriage so yeah. That one is a hard set in stone done.

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  • Tbear
    Devoted October 2019
    Tbear ·
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    Deal breaker for sure.


    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Expert October 2020
    Katelyn ·
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    DEAL BREAKER! Been there, done that, never want to experience it again! I watched my dad rip my family apart for a woman who was ten times worst than my mom. Now, this woman is married to my dad and loves to make any special event for me a living nightmare! I will never date anyone who has cheated before.

    • Reply
  • Emma
    September 1995
    Emma ·
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    I would never fool myself into thinking that I was THE one who could keep him 'this' time........

    • Reply
  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    ****% a deal breaker! My ex-husband was never called on it when I found out. I just decided to divorce him. Just things leading up to that moment made so much sense. Cheating is an absolute zero tolerance rule.

    • Reply
  • Christal
    Dedicated January 2021
    Christal ·
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    My relationship deal breakers are cheating, family wars, crime, drug addiction, abandoning children, refusing to work to provide financially for your family when you are healthy and can!
    • Reply
  • Jpbride2B
    Dedicated October 2019
    Jpbride2B ·
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    DEAL BREAKER. absolutely a deal-breaker. i would not stay with someone who doesn't value me or respect me even enough to be open or faithful. it would hurt, but i would not stay

    • Reply
  • Erin
    VIP September 2023
    Erin ·
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    This is a difficult one for me... I used to think it would be an automatic deal breaker, but a lot has happened in the last 3 years. My FH made a mistake 2.5 years ago and got drunk around a girl who really wanted to take my place in his life. She took advantage of the situation, but he wasn't quick to stop her either. We broke up for a while, and it was hard for both of us. It was kind of what made me realize just how much I loved him. I wanted to hate him, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. He's worked hard to turn his behavior around and prove to me that he's serious, and that I'm the only one for him. We were only together for 3 months when I got pregnant with our daughter, and that was a difficult time for both of us. He's put in the effort to prove to me that he's grown up, and he won't make the same mistake again, and so far, he hasn't. While my trust in him was damaged, he's been working hard to rebuild it and I love him for it.

    I did make it VERY clear to him that he will only be forgiven once. If anything remotely close happens ever again, it will be immediate grounds for divorce.

    • Reply
  • J
    Savvy June 2021
    Julia ·
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    Deal breaker. I deserve someone who is going to commit to me 100% and be faithful and trustworthy.

    • Reply
  • SraDeCarrillo
    Super August 2019
    SraDeCarrillo ·
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    Dealbreaker. Not putting up with that mess!

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  • Sierra
    Dedicated December 2019
    Sierra ·
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    I have serious trust issues, so this would be a deal breaker. My only consideration would be the situation itself. If he was open and honest and had some legitimate feelings about it, I would listen, but I would definitely be on a toes for a while until I KNEW I could trust him... I'm lucky in that I never had that kind of issue with my FH. He's never given me a reason to not trust him. Smiley heart

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  • Rachel
    Devoted October 2019
    Rachel ·
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    I disagree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" I feel like people adapt and change over the course of their lifetime. Not to mention if you're married to the person are you going to trash every single other vow that was made because one vow was broken?!?! I think it would be a Red Flag but if you're both willing to address it, work on it and improve your relationship than that's worth it.

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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    I do not believe the once a cheater always a cheater, but I do believe it's a deal breaker in my book.

    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    Deal breaker 100%!! The trust that is shattered when a partner cheats can never be regained. If there is no trust, there is no relationship.

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  • Erin
    Expert November 2019
    Erin ·
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    Trust takes time to build and seconds to lose. Whether or not cheating is a deal breaker depends on a number of factors. History, patterns of behavior, how often it has happened, how long ago it happened, considering whether anything has changed or not, etc. Under ****% of the circumstances, it’s a deal breaker. There is an incredibly slight chance of working it out, but I don’t take cheating lightly and I don’t have time for games. You’re either all in or all out.
    • Reply
  • Shanita
    Dedicated September 2020
    Shanita ·
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    I believe people can change. I wouldn't say it's 100% deal breaker. But I would have to have a strong enough bond with him to try to work things out and he would have to be willing to do whatever it took to earn my trust back.

    • Reply
  • Shanita
    Dedicated September 2020
    Shanita ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Well said! I agree with you there...

    • Reply
  • Megan
    Expert October 2019
    Megan ·
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    My fiance and I have had this conversation. (Both of us have had bad previous relationships) and cheating is 100% deal breaker. I would leave in a minute.
    • Reply

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