Ceremony script for an anti-ceremony couple

We originally wanted to skip the ceremony, but my mom passive aggressively raised hell in a sense.

We won't have an aisle either, and will be writing our own ceremony. In a book series I read there's a culture who's only marriage requirement is that you say "you are my wife" 3 times and "you are my husband" 3 times, and that's it, it's legally binding. We're planning on adding in a bit more, but that's what we're basing it off of. We're getting wedding ring tattoos, so there won't be an exchanging of rings either. The whole thing should be 15 minutes tops.

Just make sure your brother knows what it takes to legally marry you. It differs by state.

Also, if you're a fan of the princess bride, you could do the mawage thing. It's pretty funny. (Not for me, but I've seen it before)

I wouldn't base the legality of my marriage off something I read in a book.

There's a specific legal part that has to be carried out and varies by state. Is your brother legally able to perform your ceremony in the state you're getting married in?

It sounds like you need to hire a pro civil officiant who can do just the bare bones vows that would still make it legal in the county/state you're getting married in.

Hire a professional.

They can write a short- funny none religious (if that's what you want) but still legal script for you.

Hire a pro. Most of my couples say they want something short, sweet, not relgious and not boring. Just because you have been to weddings you didn't like doesn't mean that you'll hate yours if you get the right person. Our shortest elopements are literally 8 minutes long, with just the stuff we need to say, but most of our ceremonies are personalized, couple-driven in content and about 18-20 minutes long.

"You're my wife" three times? That won't cut in in the states where I work. There are certain things that have to be said. And getting your brother ordained? Not always legal either.

Invest in someone good and you'll have exactly the ceremony you want; short, funny, (no princess bride please; not funny and way overdone....) and well done. Your brother, unless he's a pro, can't give you that and it makes the ceremony script one more thing you have to worry about.

Hire a pro. An in-ceremony is one thing, but to find out 20 years from now that your marriage was never legal because he got his ordination from an online scam site? I can only imagine.

Oh, and don't say it won't happen to you. We've had it happen to several couples here...

Thanks for the responses. We are legally getting married here in the states before we go. It's merely "symbolic" so I'm not paying $800 down there for an officiant to run a fake ceremony. That's why my bother said he would do some sort of speech vow exchange thing to please our family. Just looking for short and sweet ideas for a ceremony thanks !

Guys guys guys....that's how we're doing our vows, not what makes it legal. Our officiant is the one who makes it legal.

Maybe I wasn't clear on that, but I guess I can't assume.

I would look up the mandatory language in your state first. The only mandatory language in CA is for the couple to both say "I do". That's it. I know other states are more strict. I knew a guy who's vows were just the word happy said by him and his wife at the same time. Happy and I do and it was done. It really depends on your state. Here you can get ordained for the day online and it's recognized by the state. I love CA!

You can become ordained online. As long as you have a marriage certificate and legal paperwork with witnesses (and get it notarized) you're all good. I'm a minister with the church of life (no joke, google it) and that's all you need! My services are legal/valid everywhere but in NYC and vegas. Good luck!

Illinois apparently is pretty lax; you just have to believe (within reason) that you were actually married and it's still recognized.

This is not trying to condone doing whatever and it'll be fine, you should definitely look into what's required by your state. And using someone who is ordained and/or legally recognized to perform marriages. Eta: sorry the pic is blurry.

@Samantha: Uh, no. It isn't legal everywhere. Lots of places are ruling that online ordination is not legally permissible.

For someone who supposedly works for the biggest supplier of licenses of questionable legality, giving someone reassurance of something that isn't necessarily true and could result in their marriage license being invalid is a pretty shitty way to treat unsuspecting couples.

Oh, and I live in MO, getting married in FL. My state leaves it up to the county whether to recognize it. My county does, but most of the surrounding counties do not. Where we are marrying in Fl, they no longer allow online ordination.

Know your facts before giving bad legal advice. Or better yet, stop giving legal advice online at all.

OP, it probably would have been more productive if you actually gave the details of the legal ceremony in your post.

@ Samantha, you're wrong about that. You could be legal in NYC if you registered, but there are many states where you're not legal. This is typical of the level of expertise that comes with people who are ordained online.

Check out offbeatbride.com/wedding-ceremony-101. It may not have specific words, but could help you think about how to organize the ceremony and what should be included or what could be jettisoned.

If they are legally married ahead of time, he can say anything he wants. It's a non legal vow renewal.

Just wanted to say, I feel your pain, except my situation is that my FI loves ceremonies (he's a choral director) and I want to just get it over with and be married. We're finding the middle ground, but it's a struggle. I am determined to keep it under 20 mins and he keeps wanting to add meaningful elements. It's sweet and I feel bad shooting down his ideas but i don't want our guests to get bored and uncomfortable.

Exactly what Celia said.

Google and even Pinterest has tons of ceremony templates even non religious ones, just find something you like.

Sounds like your family just wants some words to be said

Soon? Twenty well chosen minutes is absolutely fine. I have done 45 minute ceremonies and your guests literally stop listening after 20 minutes and the third 'meaningful element".

When you consider all the elements (welcome, readings, moms' tribute, remembrance, vows, rings, maybe ONE ritual and the pronouncement) most non religious ceremonies are between 15-30 minutes. More than that is overkill.