Ceremony script for an anti-ceremony couple

My intention was not to give legal advice, it was to say research the laws where you are.

Are federal laws on marriage vastly different than state laws? Genuine question.

Do all officiants know every requirement for all 50 states? I don't even think OP is in Illinois, so my comments were just to illustrate that there are different regulations, and you need to know what the ones for you, specifically, are.

I'm kind of confused why you're arguing against me, actually. I recognize that you're a highly valued member of this community, and I'm always on the #teamcelia side of debates.

I guess I'm just wondering, what's the harm in gaining knowledge about how your state operates and acknowledges marriages? I never once advocated for a non-officiant, so I'm not exactly sure where this is coming from.

For clarification, again, my first post was referring to how we're structuring our personal vows, not the legality of our marriage. I didn't go into great detail, because raise your hand if you've read any Robert Jordan? No? If I'm wrong, I'll eat my words.

I'm sorry for any misconceptions here, and I'm hoping to clear them up. Thanks for making sure my comments aren't misconstrued, sincerely.

Sam, I'm not arguing against you, but the specific advice, and if I read your intentions wrong, I apologize.

The legality of your marriage depends on what is said as well as the status of the officiant, and yes; this varies greatly from state to state. Your personal vows can be pretty much anything as long as they are actually vows/promises, but each state dictates what must be said in addition.

I don't know the requirements in every state; I can't even make definitive statements about NJ because here, every town issues licenses and every town is a little bit different. I know, it's weird, but it's true.

@Samtoine: I think @Celia was referring to the one star Samantha above your posts. I know I was.

I was absolutely referring to Samantha. Sorry Samtoine.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh sorry. I didn't catch that. My bad.

It sounds like you and FH need to find an officiant who understand you're not looking to go the traditional route. In our first meeting, the officiant we're working with told me that she's worked with couples to base their ceremonies around things that were important to them (she even mentioned an instance where the couple were huge Harry Potter fans, so they worked some of the literature into the ceremony).

Nothing is stopping you and FH from wordsmithing the type of ceremony you'd be comfortable and finding an officiant who is good using your words, too.

Wordsmithing=my new most unfavorite term.

Similar situations. Found an officiant so we can make sure things are done legally. We don't personally care about the bows but picked what we thought suited us.