bevbabe
Dedicated June 2023

Can't decide on wedding date

bevbabe, on September 16, 2021 at 9:42 AM Posted in Planning 0 17
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Anyone else having/had trouble picking a date? How did you decide? I have a very busy job and a big family so I have to navigate dates around birthdays, holidays, family trips, and work commitments all while giving us enough time to plan and working with what venues have available. It's stressing me out because it's the first thing we have to decide. I almost want to push it to 2023, but then our engagement will be almost 2 years. I'm mostly just venting because it's frustrating.

17 Comments

Latest activity by Cristina, on October 3, 2021 at 10:13 PM
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    This sounds tough, but at the end of the day you have to pick the date that works best for the two of you. We made sure our "must haves" could make it, which meant parents and siblings to us. Other than those family members, we hoped everyone would be able to make it but knew our date might not work for everyone. If you try to schedule around EVERYONE (i.e. aunts/uncles, friends, cousins, parent's friends, etc.) you'll drive yourself crazy! Figure out what works for you, and your "must haves," plus if there is a venue that you have in mind make sure to consider that, too. You may finally align on a date, but your venue of choice might already be booked. Honestly, if you are trying to find a venue in 2022, that's probably slim pickings right now, so pushing to 2023 will give you a lot more flexibility. Good luck!

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  • JA
    Devoted March 2022
    JA ·
    • Flag

    Someone gave great advice for this, but I can't remember who.

    Print off a calendar and cross out any "blackout dates" (trips, holidays, birthdays, major events already happening in your city, etc) Then decide if you care about what season you get married in, if you have a season you don't want, cross that out too. Do your jobs have a "busy season" that would be rough to work around? if so cross those months off too. Once everything is crossed out that needs to be, look at venues. Then based on the venue availability of the one you like, you can reference that calendar and honestly pick any date that isn't crossed out already.

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  • Samantha
    Rockstar May 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Agree that if you have a location you definitely want, find out what they have available, and pick which one works best for you two. Everyone else will deal with it Smiley smile

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  • A
    Dedicated October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag

    If you're having trouble with a date, pick a venue you love first and see what days they have available - pick from their list

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  • Candace
    Expert March 2022
    Candace ·
    • Flag
    I agree with all these, and I'll add to think about honeymoon plans. If you want to leave for a trip after your wedding, you'll need factor in that time away from your jobs and make sure someone is available for childcare, if needed. I know, it is stressful!


    We ended up deciding that sooner was better than later and prioritized setting the date for less than a year away. Then we were set on a venue. That venue is only available 2 weekends each month. We knew we wanted March because it was meaningful to us, so we made it happen. It's ok to have your wedding on the same week as another family member's birthday/anniversary/spring break... You have to just focus on what you and your fiance want.
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  • Lauren
    Dedicated September 2022
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    I had my heart set on a venue, so I gave a date range I liked (Sept - Nov), and then went extra overboard and numbered each weekend according to which ones I wanted the most, to which ones I wanted the least, and handed the list off to the venue manager to see what was available. In the end, only one weekend over the three months was open, so that was our date!

    I know it's been mentioned above, but just echoing it again, if you haven't selected a date/venue yet, and you're still hoping for 2022, just be prepared for a lot of things no longer being available. Our date is now a year out, and we've been planning since July, but I ran into into far more "sorry, we're already booked!" responses than I anticipated, for vendors that you normally don't book this far out and can take on multiple weddings a weekend. As a result, we ended up having to make sure we booked everyone/everything ASAP, just to ensure we had secured vendors for our 2022 date. I know a lot of other couples are running into this same issue, too. Just something to consider! :]

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  • S
    Expert September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I LOVE this idea!!

    I would also like to add that keep in mind there will not be one single date that works for your entire guest list. That is something I kept worrying about. Obviously check with your VIPs (parents, grandparents, siblings, bridal party) to make sure the date works for them, but don't try to account for every single person's schedule. You will drive yourself crazy. I was starting to worry about 3 people in school, but then those people can't travel then, and well these people will be on vacation then. Our guest list is almost 200, I was never going to find something that works for everyone, and that's okay!

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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag

    This is how We picked out our wedding date

    he likes fall I wanted a spring wedding so I could use pastels

    so I picked the season

    He wanted either or April or March since everyone in our family gets married in May I wanted May so we settled on April,

    His birthday and my birthday end in 3 so we decided on the 23rd since the represents us and our birthdays so we are getting married on April 23rd 2022

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Rockstar September 2020
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    Start with choosing a season because this affects vibe, color, flowers, travel. Then choose days that look great to you or have sentimental meaning. Next, be mindful of major dates during your season: other weddings, pregnancy due dates of immediate family, traumatic anniversaries (deaths, tragedies, etc.), and special events already scheduled (graduations/ confirmations/ first communions). Special events can limit the attendance of large groups. Traumatic events are just too emotionally charged. Pregnancy due dates can also affect groups of people. Beyond that, the days will only affect a very small number of people.
    • Reply
  • bevbabe
    Dedicated June 2023
    bevbabe ·
    • Flag

    Thanks for all the help. I think we're just going to wait until 2023. None of my work commitments have been scheduled that far out and it gives us more flexibility. Also I'm worried about venues being available in 2022.

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  • Rachel
    Dedicated October 2023
    Rachel ·
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    We went with 2023 as well! Just so much easier at this point. The upside is more time to plan and save! Smiley smile
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  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    We got engaged in April and are happily getting married in 2023. Everything is booked and we have a date we love. He’s in school and I’m working full time so we picked the weekend before his spring break so we could go in a honey moon right away. Look at your schedule, and pick a date where you have nothing the week after and nothing for a day or two before! That’s your wedding date! Then start to fall in love with it. I’ve always wanted a fall wedding but we’re getting married in the spring and I couldn’t be more in love
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
    • Flag
    We decided summer worked best for our schedules, and we knew we wanted a Saturday evening (because Saturday evening worked best as most of our guests work M-F). Then we picked a date the venue had available. Unless it was like...an immediate relatives birthday or something, I wouldn't schedule around other people's lives. If people can make it, great. If they can't, it's sad, but if the option is pick a date that works for you or tear your hair out because nothing works for everybody, then go with the former. If Aunt Judy can't make it because she's got a vacation planned, you can go out to dinner with her some time to celebrate.
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  • Lindsay
    Savvy June 2023
    Lindsay ·
    • Flag
    We honed in on 2 months primarily because of the weather and wanting to get married on the beach when it was in the 70s.


    We got engaged in July and booked a 2023 date because we aren’t in much of a hurry, we wanted to be able to get choice vendors, and I don’t want to have to think about what covid will be doing next year. My cousin recently had a two year engagement and she highly recommended it.
    • Reply
  • Katherine
    Just Said Yes October 2025
    Katherine ·
    • Flag
    We decided to have o wedding ceremony when I graduated college and had my degree, that way all my focus would be on getting my degree and working to save up for the big day which means we’ll be engaged for about 3 years. For us, that’s not an issue as we know in our hearts we are each other’s life partner. We will be getting married in the civil court in January 2022. I knew I wanted a fall wedding and we chose the day that he proposed.
    • Reply
  • K
    Just Said Yes December 2024
    Klaudia ·
    • Flag
    For a wedding date, I chose what seemed best. Also winter weddings are cheaper along with wanting a long sleeve wedding dress. All played a role for me. The other factors are if family decides not to come that’s on them. My day and I won’t be stressing over people.
    • Reply
  • Cristina
    Just Said Yes July 2023
    Cristina ·
    • Flag
    I'm deciding to get married July 9 2023
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