Teresa
Devoted September 2020

Bridesmaid wants her son at head table

Teresa, on December 31, 2019 at 10:31 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 98

Help guys!! My sister is one of my bridesmaids & said she wants her 6 year old son to sit at the head table with the rest of the bridesmaids & groomsmen. I want to please her but I dont know if that would be strange. I have a kids table but she is afraid that he wont eat well without her...
Help guys!! My sister is one of my bridesmaids & said she wants her 6 year old son to sit at the head table with the rest of the bridesmaids & groomsmen. I want to please her but I dont know if that would be strange.



I have a kids table but she is afraid that he wont eat well without her supervision. I offered that he can sit with my mom but I cant fully decide.

98 Comments

  • Amanda
    Just Said Yes September 2022
    Amanda
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    Well glad to help 馃槉 Nice to know i am not the only bride who is super done trying to please everyone. Of all people you or I or any bride should not have to worry about pleasing everyone on what is "supposed to be our day" as hard as it is we have to stick up for ourselves and tell them "NOPE!" We always try to please everyone as women anyway so this is the day we get to make ourselves and our partners happy.
    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa
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    Awww yes exactly girl!! I just lived everything you said. Thanks Amanda. Yes I sure do stick up for myself. Hope your wedding is so beautiful I'm 3 months away 馃槵
    • Reply
  • Melanie
    Savvy September 2021
    Melanie
    • Flag
    I was having trouble with this since both my flower girl's parents are in our wedding as best man and bridesmaid. I talked it over with them and they said while the flower girl would probably prefer to sit at the head table with all of us, she is smart enough to understand its and adult table and she will sit with her grandparents instead.


    I would have her son sit with your mom, as he sounds younger and might be fussy which will put a damper on your big day.
    • Reply
  • Monica
    VIP October 2021
    Monica
    • Flag
    Im having a sweetheart table for this reason & reserved tables for the wedding party to sit with their significant other and their kids. 3 out of 4 of my bridesmaids have kids and if I were them I would also want to sit with my child.
    • Reply
  • needmorewine
    Expert May 2016
    needmorewine
    • Flag

    Guest comfort is more important than how a table will look. No one will even notice or care if the child is sitting at the bridal party table with his mother. If your sister is concerned about her son being comfortable and eating well then there is a very good chance she will end up sitting at the same table as him anyway, no matter what table he is assigned to.

    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney
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    I鈥檓 not even a mom and I agree with this. Kids should be sitting with their parents. It seems like you already know what you want to do about your nephew and sister but just want this thread to back up your decision. I personally don鈥檛 see why it鈥檚 a big deal if your own sister is simply asking you and your nephew is your family plus you won鈥檛 even be at that table. As a family member, I personally would just accommodate my sisters needs. I wouldn鈥檛 have my nephew sitting away from her. It鈥檚 a small request. either sit him with her or with your mom. Who is still family but an adult. A small request of your bridal party or guests shouldn鈥檛 be an issue , or seeming like 鈥測ou鈥檙e just pleasing everyone鈥. But that鈥檚 just my opinion.
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney
    • Flag
    If you don鈥檛 have kids, just put yourself in your sister鈥檚 place and rethink your decision.
    • Reply
  • Tanyia
    Expert February 2020
    Tanyia
    • Flag

    If he has special needs, yes. otherwise... No.

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba
    • Flag
    I put the 馃尭馃檱鈥嶁檧锔 beside her Mom (Bridesmaid), but with her back to the rest of the room so that she鈥檇 behave and eat her food.


    I sat the 馃拲馃惢er with his parents as he was still 2 he turned 3 Nine days after the Wedding).
    These were the youngest children, but I had planned for all other kids to sit at the kids鈥 table.
    • Reply
  • Kristle
    October 2019
    Kristle
    • Flag
    Why are you having children at your wedding anyway? You should not be having children especially if you're having as an formal event for having a head table.
    • Reply
  • E
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Elizabeth
    • Flag
    Everyone鈥檚 going to have an opinion on this but only you know the family dynamics there. My sister in law refused to be separated from her kid and we had a head table with our bridal party (she was a bridesmaid). So I just put her and the kid at a table with the rest of the family. Problem solved. The rest of the bridal party sat with us and their significant others were all at a table together. No one complained, there was too much alcohol to be had anyway 馃槀
    • Reply
  • S
    Just Said Yes August 2019
    Sarah
    • Flag
    My husband and I had two year old son of our own. I was worried he wouldn鈥檛 eat if he wasn鈥檛 with us. But we thought it would be weird for him to seat up there with us. So instead we put him with his grandparents. He eat some there and then occasionally during the dinner he would want us and we let him set on our laps and eat with us.


    So, from my personal experience I would recommend you have her son set with the grandparents and if there a problem say it鈥檚 fine for the son to join her at the table if the problem comes up. For us, our son most fine eating at grandparents table which was right near the near table and only towards the end did he need to join us. So in short, plan for her son to sit with grandparents but he open to the possibility her son may need to come up to her.
    • Reply
  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky
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    What the what?

    • Reply
  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen
    • Flag

    I would give sister the choice of sitting with her kid at grandma's family (if grandma is OK) Please don't foist a 6 YO on the rest of the wedding party. Yes, you want to accommodate guest, but ALL guests not just the ones with kids. I would never put kids at a table where there are adults without kids. I don't want to get stuck at an adult function with kids.

    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra
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    Who says kids shouldn鈥檛 be at a formal event if she wants them there?
    • Reply
  • Kristle
    October 2019
    Kristle
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    View Quoted Comment

    I wrote a longer reply to the bride, but the short answers are 1) you don't know she wants them there so much she feels like she has to have them there and most importantly 2) contrary to popular belief not every event needs/should have children at it, especially children 12 and under. After all the whole reason why we are even having this discussion is because she can't figure out how best to accommodate small children at her wedding. If they're not there then it's handled evenly, fairly, and effectively.

    • Reply
  • Kristle
    October 2019
    Kristle
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    In some ways the better question is not whether she wants them there but do the children want to be there? Most small children would rather be playing with toys, watching videos, and eating hot dogs.

    • Reply
  • JR
    Beginner April 2021
    JR
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    Agreed! The wedding party would appreciate being able to enjoy the party as adults..it would be a very different experience with a 6 year old at the table.
    • Reply

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