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Teresa
Devoted September 2020

Bridesmaid wants her son at head table

Teresa, on December 31, 2019 at 10:31 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 98
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Help guys!! My sister is one of my bridesmaids & said she wants her 6 year old son to sit at the head table with the rest of the bridesmaids & groomsmen. I want to please her but I dont know if that would be strange.



I have a kids table but she is afraid that he wont eat well without her supervision. I offered that he can sit with my mom but I cant fully decide.

98 Comments

Latest activity by Jr, on January 12, 2020 at 10:38 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    I wouldn't allow one child at the head table and no one else's dates or children, but I also wouldn't expect anyone to leave their 6 year old unattended at a kid's table. I think sitting with a close family member is a happy medium.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    You really should allow everyone to sit with their families. If you can’t fit your bridal party and their dates/children at your head table then just have a sweetheart table with you and your husband, and seat your bridal party with their families. No one wants to be separated from their dates or families at a wedding it’s really not fair to them. Besides it’s not like you and your husband will be sitting down or spending time at your table for very long anyway.
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  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    Is your nephew in the wedding as a ring bearer or something else? If so, I don’t see why he can’t sit at the head table. Maybe your sister isn’t comfortable with him sitting alone at a kids table with other kids, or maybe he’s shy. If he’s not in the wedding, I think either sitting him with your mother is a good compromise or just doing a sweetheart table with you and your FH will be a good ideas
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  • Jodi
    Just Said Yes March 2020
    Jodi ·
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    I agree, thats what we are doing. WE have a sweetheart table.

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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    We didn't have a head table because we didn't want to separate anyone from their families/significant others. I would reconsider having a head table. It sounds like it would be better to just have a sweetheart table. It also gives you time just to spend time as just husband and wife which was another reason we choose to have just a sweetheart table.

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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    I should have said that I have a sweetheart table and the head table is the one with the groomsmen, bridesmaids & their dates
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    I would just seat him with your mom. I think that is a good compromise.
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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    I have a sweetheart table also. The head table is o ly the groomsmen, bridesmaids and their partners
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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Thank you that sounds like a great idea
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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    We are not sitting at the head table. We have a sweetheart table.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    This is entirely different. I would definitely let your nephew sit at the table with her.

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  • W
    Expert September 2020
    Willow ·
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    If he's 6, isn't he in school by now? Is he not already acclimated to being around other children? How does he eat when his mother is not around (at school, at a friend's house, etc)? Why can't he sit with your mom? If his eating issues stem from being is self conscious in a strange place, wouldn't he be even more self conscious as the only kid at the head table? Without more info, it sounds like your sister is hovering over her son for no rational reason. It sounds more like an excuse. If I were 6, I'd be much more comfortable at the kids table. If this child has special needs, then I would accommodate your sister's request, but your mother sounds like a perfectly viable option.
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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Omg that is so true. I never thought of it that way. Yeah she is definitely not there when he eats at school, I should tell her that
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  • Jamie
    Dedicated October 2019
    Jamie ·
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    This is not necessarily true. I have a 5 year old niece that's in kindergarten and obviously eats at the lunch table every day. However, she also gets extreme anxiety around people she doesn't know or even people she knows but doesn't see often. There is no way she would be more comfortable at a table with kids than sitting with me or another family member. Parents generally know what's best for their kids.

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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I would let the child sit with his mom then. I think you're creating extra stress for yourself than there really needs to be. No one will care if he sits with her. It would make your sister feel better to have him sitting with her and it would make your nephew feel better.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    If you don't feel comfortable sitting him at the head table, sitting him with his grandparents is fine!

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Oh got it, but then I’m confused what’s the purpose of them all sitting together if she can’t sit with her daughter? I’m sure she’d rather sit with her daughter than the rest of the bridal party...
    • Reply
  • Kristal
    Expert February 2020
    Kristal ·
    • Flag

    I think by the age of 6, the child should be fine. My MoH & Best Man's children are 1 & 3. They are going to be sitting with grandma and grandpa. That said, if theres a special case and she is the only one who needs it, it wouldnt be horrible. another of our groomsmen is my FH's brother. He is sitting at the end of the table with wife and nearly 2 month old child. I did this for them without them asking because I do not want his wife to feel left out among other reasons. That said, if it works with your seats to put him at the end, i dont see a problem with it but if not, then tell her to suck it up. you are being nice enough to provide a kids table and even offering to sit him with your mom. you are being plenty accommodating.

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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Because her son would be the only child at that table and I have a kids table. I'm just so confused on what to do. This is stressing me
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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Yes so true
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