Teresa
Devoted September 2020

Bridesmaid wants her son at head table

Teresa, on December 31, 2019 at 10:31 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 98

Help guys!! My sister is one of my bridesmaids & said she wants her 6 year old son to sit at the head table with the rest of the bridesmaids & groomsmen. I want to please her but I dont know if that would be strange. I have a kids table but she is afraid that he wont eat well without her...
Help guys!! My sister is one of my bridesmaids & said she wants her 6 year old son to sit at the head table with the rest of the bridesmaids & groomsmen. I want to please her but I dont know if that would be strange.



I have a kids table but she is afraid that he wont eat well without her supervision. I offered that he can sit with my mom but I cant fully decide.

98 Comments

  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    I totally agree.
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  • Beverly
    Dedicated July 2020
    Beverly ·
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    I agree with everybody else we just have a sweetheart table. We also didnt do assigned seating either that way people can feel comfortable with who they are sitting with
    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Do you have a platted dinner or buffet? I'm having a plated dinner. My catering company prefers that its assigned seating
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  • Beverly
    Dedicated July 2020
    Beverly ·
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    I have a buffet style self serve
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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Oh yeah that'd be easier to not do assigned seating. I thought about not having it assigned but in my case itd probably be best to do it.
    • Reply
  • Sara
    Expert February 2020
    Sara ·
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    If she feels more comfortable having her son next to her, I don't see the harm in letting him sit at the head table. You have a separate sweetheart table so it's not going to affect you much. However, if she has to get up in the middle of dinner or speeches because she thinks she needs to speak to her son for whatever reason, that will affect you.


    My daughter is eight and I would not be very happy if she was assigned to a table of children only. With her grandparents fine.. (I offered her a seat at our sweetheart table actually and she would rather sit with her aunt) But there's no way she would be able to sit there quietly and eat well with only children around her..not because she misbehaves often but because she's a child.
    • Reply
  • Beverly
    Dedicated July 2020
    Beverly ·
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    Yes so they can see who gets what
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  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Yeah that's true too. I know mostly all the other parents are okay to have them at the kids table so that cousins can catch up. But they are all older than 10.
    • Reply
  • Sylvie
    Dedicated September 2020
    Sylvie ·
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    No!!! He has to sit at the table with the other kids... he’ll be fine 😃
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    If you’re having a sweet heart table and won’t be sitting at the head table, I don’t see why he can’t sit at the head table. Maybe he won’t be comfortable around kids he won’t know. It’ll make her more comfortable and him more comfortable. Plus if everyone’s dates will be at the head table, why can’t her son? I don’t think this should be bigger than has to be. Just sit him at the head table with her or with grand parents.
    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    He does know the kids its all family. Her only issue is that she doesnt think he will eat well.
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  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney ·
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    Oh okay. I don’t see why not letting him sit there unless you just don’t want any kids at the adult table. Maybe ask her first how she feels about him sitting with your mom?
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Just Said Yes March 2020
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    This is your wedding and I think you should have everyone sit where you want them to. If it were my wedding I would sit the little one with one of the parents if she is that concerned about him not eating. If you don't want him to sit at the head table then that is your decision and don't feel bad when you have to say no.

    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Very true. Thank you for that
    • Reply
  • Dulaney
    Savvy June 2021
    Dulaney ·
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    I think sitting him with your mom is a good compromise. Remember, it’s your wedding!
    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    True true. Thank you
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Plated dinners and assigned seating work with a y seating plan. Very few couples have just the Wedding party at one table these days, mostly because most people hate having their spouse or SO sitting separately from them. When I meet with a bride or groom asking me to be in the WP, I always ask if we will be seated with our SO. Sometime through the years, my SO has not attended a wedding with me. And I am fine on my own. But I absolutely refuse ( and husband now too) to both be there, and one seated with WP, one elsewhere. I would rather not be in wedding party. If you want to have your wedding party and their SO and young kids at just a couple tables, fine. Or spread them around. But you can assign all people to a table ( or a seat), and not segregate wedding party. As long as they put their place card, coded for their meal, in a place card holder in front of their place, it works fine for played service.
    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    Just tell her no.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I mean it’s her son, if she wants him to sit with her just put him there. Seems like the simplest solution
    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Wow if it was that simple I wouldn't be posting it on here. I mean cant you agree that we all struggle when planning a wedding. That's why I'm asking for opinions not for negativity ✌
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