Amanda
Dedicated May 2019

Bridesmaid proposal ?

Amanda, on December 4, 2017 at 7:35 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25
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So I've only seen one other person do this but has anyone ever hosted like a brunch or dinner to ask your bridesmaids ? I'm calling it a bridesmaid proposal party lol ? Am I being corny ? I just figured it's easier to have them all together rather than run there little gifts to them all seperate

25 Comments

Latest activity by Monica, on August 1, 2019 at 10:06 PM
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    I don't think it's corny, but would ask people in private honestly....just call them. People decline for various reasons, and they might not feel like doing that in public.

    • Reply
  • Future Mrs. G
    VIP February 2018
    Future Mrs. G ·
    • Flag

    I don't think it's corny. I think it should be done privately, though. I feel like it should be a one on one moment.

    • Reply
  • Joanna
    Expert October 2017
    Joanna ·
    • Flag

    I prefer that to be a private moment, but you have 8 to 10 months to think about it. Asking any earlier could be a recipe for disaster.

    • Reply
  • Everlong323
    Beginner March 2018
    Everlong323 ·
    • Flag

    I would ask them separately, then once they all say "YES!" bc they will.... invite them to a bridesmaids brunch or get together.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Devoted October 2018
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag

    Agree with everyone else- not corny, and it would be appreciated by me, but it would be better to ask each individually. It's very easy to say yes to something, because the group is saying yes- even if it's not something you're able to commit to. I'd ask individually, then host once they all accept Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
    • Flag

    I know someone who had all of her friends over and asked them but they are all very close and each other's bridesmaids so I think they all saw it coming. If anyone would be genuinely surprised at you asking then I think you should do it privately with each person.

    • Reply
  • Leighanna
    Savvy October 2018
    Leighanna ·
    • Flag

    It is very common where I'm from to do the "Bridesmaids lunch" where girls put together a lunch and "proposal boxes" and give them to all of their girls to ask! If I was certain they would all want to say yes I would as well. Though, I'm on the fence that one girl may have to decline due to her own reasons and I don't want her to feel like she is pressured into saying yes! So I'm just gonna give them a bag with a candle scent called "Pearls and Lace" one on one and ask. Once they've given me their answers I'll move on to the next step of getting them all together for lunch one day (:

    • Reply
  • Mags
    Super July 2018
    Mags ·
    • Flag

    I asked mine individually and will be going out to brunch on Saturday after buying the dress :-) def not corny! Any excuse to have mimosas! But know that this should be an optional thing, you can't be upset if someone can't make it.

    • Reply
  • S
    Just Said Yes March 2019
    Shandler ·
    • Flag

    Not at all! They are your friends, this is your wedding so do what will make you happy Smiley smile! I have had my girls picked out for a while and my maid of honor lives near me but we are all busy adults so I gave her a call and she said yes Smiley smile!

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Super September 2017
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    I would ask everyone privately and take them all out to brunch at a later date. Asking someone in front of a large group of people can put pressure on them to say yes even if they’re aware they don’t have the time or money or know they have a vacation that month, etc. One of my friends received a very extravagant BM proposal box in front of an entire engagement party. She said yes under pressure because she felt bad and felt uncomfortable saying no in front of so many people. She then ended up spending way too much money, complaining about everything, and backing out of the bachelorette at the last minute after the MOH booked and planned it.

    • Reply
  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
    • Flag

    I would definitely not put pressure on them to say yes by asking them publicly. I wouldn't even do the "proposal"gifts. I think they contribute to the difficulty some people have in saying no. Ask each of them privately and ask them to get back to you with their decision.

    • Reply
  • Ashley
    VIP May 2018
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    I would wait a few months and then decide. I'm getting married in May and asked privately in June, and with the proposal box in September

    • Reply
  • caitlin
    Super May 2017
    caitlin ·
    • Flag

    I'd echo what PPs have said and ask privately then have brunch or whatever with them all together once you know for sure who is able to be part of it. it puts a lot of pressure on. i asked all my WP folks individually, and didn't do any gifts or anything (not really a thing among my pals/family, and we had a mixed gender WP on both sides)

    • Reply
  • Trevor
    Savvy January 2019
    Trevor ·
    • Flag

    This makes it impossible for them to comfortably decline so I think it's a bad idea

    • Reply
  • EngineerInLove
    VIP September 2018
    EngineerInLove ·
    • Flag

    I've been part of a proposal at happy hour and it was fun, but it did put pressure on us to say yes. Not that I would have said no to that one. I'm asking each separately so we can also talk about budget as well, and "expectations" as one friend put it. My expectation is they will wear the dress and stand by my side, anything else they plan or attend is a bonus that I appreciate.

    • Reply
  • SpringBride2018
    Super April 2018
    SpringBride2018 ·
    • Flag

    Don't do anything to make them feel like they're being put on the spot. Ask them all individually and then maybe go out to dinner with them all if they don't know each other?

    • Reply
  • Jurnee
    Expert May 2019
    Jurnee ·
    • Flag

    I just called mine.

    • Reply
  • Constance
    VIP October 2017
    Constance ·
    • Flag

    1) Waaaaay too early

    2) Tew much pressure

    3) Ask individually. They are giving up a lot of their time and money. The least you can do is "run there (sic) little gifts to them all separate."

    4) Just have a get together after you privately ask everyone. Don't make this get together mandatory.

    • Reply
  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
    • Flag

    I agree with Constance on 1-4. :o)

    • Reply
  • Margarita
    Dedicated December 2017
    Margarita ·
    • Flag

    It's too soon to ask them though. Your wedding is 1 1/2 years away. Lots can change in that time! You might drift apart, wish you asked a new closer friend, etc etc.

    I know you are excited, and that's great! But please wait

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