Bridesmaid complaining her dress shows too much arm

I am sorry but I agree there is a difference between wanting someone to wear a dress and them not liking it just because its not their style and not liking it because its against their beliefs. I agree with jackets or shals. You could have them use a jacket short of like what I am using. I am getting mine at David's and I am sure you can find it somewhere else or get them dyed. If you really love your friend you will understand and respect her religious choices.

I agree with everyone above!

If you choose a color (and possibly length or fabric), you can have your girls choose their own dresses. They'll be much happier and might actually wear their dress again. If you really love that particular dress, you can send it as an example and maybe one of the girls will choose it. You could also choose a few dresses and have them pick the one they feel most comfortable with.

I can definitely see why your conservative bridesmaid isn't comfortable with the one you've chosen. The shoulders are bare and the back is open and kind of low. I understand that it's your wedding and generally I would say that you should just pick the dress you want and tell your girls to suck it, but if it's for religious/traditional reasons... it would be horrible for you to do that.

If I were in your shoes, I would find a way to compromise. I picked my girls because they are people I know will be in my life for the rest of my life. I wanted everyone to wear cowboy boots - 90% of my wedding party comes from a rodeo background. I'm a former world champion barrel racer, FH is one hell of a saddle bronc rider, best man is a bull rider, MOH is a barrel racer, and so on and so on. One of my BM's does not even like horses and didn't want to spend money on a pair of boots she would never wear again. We compromised - she found a great pair of engineer-style boots, on sale and she loves them. I'm happy that she's happy.

Is this dress really worth losing a friend over? Because unfortunately there's a good chance this will happen. There are lots of gorgeous dresses that are long-sleeve gowns. She could always find something in the same color, same material only more suitable to her and her beliefs.

FYI - I just noticed the dress you listed now has a price of $119.99. I can't say this for certain, but I have heard this means they are discontinuing the style.

I know you're not 100% set on the dress, and I'm sure you can find similar styles elsewhere, but just wanted to put that out there in case you want to talk to DB about it. I wouldn't recommend getting them now because sizes change and such.

They are having a sale right now so just because its on sale does not mean that they are being discontinued. Usually if its discontinued it will be in the "Sale" section

Thanks, Arzel! I didn't realize that.

Everyone seems to be acting like I am willing to choose a dress over my friend. That is NOT the case. Anyways, I just spoke to her and she kindly declined being in the wedding because she didn't realize that she would be walking down the isle with a groomsman and that would make her uncomfortable. I told her that she could walk the flower girl and ring bearer down the isle because they will be both under 3 years old and she could pick her own dress. She politely declined and said that she would just enjoy sitting down and watching me get married. There are no hard feeling and we love each other like sisters. So to all of you who are assuming I'm some type of bridezilla and was against compromising, I'm slightly offended as no one even knows me personally and I would never pick a material thing over one of my dearest friends. I simply was hoping that everyone was happy with my favorite dress.. Advice is no longer needed on this thread. Thank you.

Brittany - I'm sorry for any hurt feelings - as I've said to other brides on here you can't always read the intended tone of the comment (both me reading your comments and vice versa), which is the issue with written forums.

Anyway, it sounds like that decision may be for the best. I'm sure you've already thought of this, but hopefully she may want to serve in some other role (reading, etc.). I hope the rest of your planning is smoother.

I bought a dress with a shawl and made a short sleeve out of it to cover my arms. Easy with the fabric from the shawl. Can you pic another dress that has a shawl? Can you buy a shawl in the same color or yardage of the same fabric?

You can get an infinity dress with extra wide sleeves- I have done them up to 13 inches wide, and with a tube top, and even a pashima/shawl out of the exact same fabric. It should not matter that she looks different! She is different and you love her. She obviously respects your beliefs too. I even know a pashima dealer who will dye to your exact shade, with hundreds of colors, and even custom shades if you send the fabric to them. Here is a photo of one wider strap dress, but they can be wider for more coverage too. I can also make upper arm sleeve bands that slide up in the same stretch fabric as the dress.

Here is another super cute one, I love it, and imagine pull on sleeves, in addition to even wider straps than shown, these are only 11 inches, there really is no limit on how wide I made the straps - www,theradicalthread.etsy.com

Mismatched dresses are very popular right now and I think they look really cool. I think that would be the easiest, and that way the rest of your girls can also pick dresses they will be most comfortable in too! win win for all!

Some of your girls may be most comfortable in strapless, or a halter or a V-neck, or short sleeves

MrsS: Saw your comment about the "simple dilemma" and thought of the quote on my bulletin board from Chesty Puller (for those who don't know, the ultimate Marine) "We're surrounded, that simplifies our problem." And yes, I agree, if she can't break her traditions because she holds them sacred, whether you agree with them or not, then it's her or the dress. It's not like she "feels fat" in it or something.

I know a lot of Christians who still feel this way. I won't do sleeveless or strapless and had a HOWDY DO of a time finding a dress pattern that isn't sleeveless or strapless. While I do wear sleeveless clothes in the summer, I still feel a wedding dress should cover me, and at least part of my arms. Some traditions, we just can't break.

Brittany, I'm glad there was some comprimise and I think it was fantastic you offered to let her walk down the aisle with the children! Kinda makes me think of Pippa Middleton I thought that was so sweet.

I have a bridesmaid who is Hindu and has never been in an American wedding, so I am going over things with her before the wedding so if something comes up, we can work around it.

And... I'm sounding like a broken record... there are backups for everyone for ANY crisis that may come up!

Sorry to hear she won't be in the wedding, but she sounds like a really good friend who is genuinely happy for you regardless! Honestly, she does sound very shy and modest and if I were in her shoes, I'd hate for you to go through all the trouble for me. It IS your day after all, and it sounds like she really wants the focus to be on you, not her

Yea some sort of scarf/pashmina would work- you can get sheer looking ones that look more formal. i wouldnt worry about one person wearing a scarf and the others not. But I agree, it is more covered up than many other dresses out there.

Oh, you *may* want to update the title of the post to say something like *update in comments pg 2* so people who aren't following the comments can know you've spoken with her and she has voluntarily stepped down for unrelated reasons..

Find out which part of the dress she has a problem with. Theirs def. no cleavage - could it be the lower back? If so you could add an extra piece of fabric to the back of hers. Just a thought.

I like a pashima - they look formal and then at the reception when the ladies enter, they can go without it for a different look (except the one bridesmaid) at which point it would not matter.

To save some money you should check out Little Borrowed Dress (you can rent instead of buy, they're a wonderful company I went through them) and get a shrug like the other ladies said.