Bridesmaid backs out 5 days before the wedding

One of your closest's friends' FIL just died. No you shouldn't be mad....obviously her husband needs to be at his funeral, and you can't really expect her not support him in this.

Either find another BM or just have one less. Not much you can do when life happens.

Im with jessica... you cant be mad at her for something she had no control over

It sucks to say it, but I honestly think may 22nd is a bad luck day or something. 12 days from the wedding my cousin dropped out just out of being selfish. 10 days before the best man dropped out because his wife didnt want him walking with another woman (without talking to me about it), 8 days before one of my other bridesmaids' pastor/god father dies and his funeral is on the wedding day. Luckily, I have LOTS of friends and everyone went out of their way to make sure I had replacements but it's definitely been rough. Especially since the bridesmaids gifts were personalized. You shouldn't be mad at her for having to go. Her FIL's death is a big deal. I say you should either find a replacement (easy to do if you used a db color or dress) or just have one less BM and roll with it. Life happens :-)

O yea, have you checked your local weather forecast? Looks like my beach wedding may get rained on. Bad luck I tell ya! jk But seriously, you have to act fast with so little time to go

Yes i totally agree, but she doesnt even know when the services are and has already said she wont make it. plus through this whole process shes been very distant and seemed annoyed with everything i ask her to be involved in

and to msshay1985 i ordered great weather!! its supposed to be in the 90's!!!! yay

I'm sorry, but her husband is way more important right now than your wedding. I would not leave my husband alone to deal with this to be in a wedding, I know any of my friends would understand. It's not about the funeral, it's about being there for her spouse at this time. Whether she was distant before has nothing to do with the fact that a death has occurred in her family and she has to be there.

I agree with Sharon--you don't get to treat the poor woman's FIL dying as "the last straw"--it has nothing to do with anything that happened prior. And she needs to be there for her husband and his family.

If you let slip to her (or someone who might get it back to her) that you're "mad" about this, it will probably end the relationship, and I wouldn't blame her.

Unless your colors are very popular and from DB, or you have a friend exactly the same size as her, it's probably to late to find someone to stand in. You can always have a BM come in with two GMs if this is making the WP asymmetrical. It's too bad, but mostly it's too bad for your friend--and like jlam said, life happens.

Let her go, for whatever reason and dont make any fuss about it lest it come back to bite you. send them a sympathy card

I understand she has to be there for her family, and i just feel very overwhelmed. i would never ask anyone days before the wedding just because i didnt ask them in the first place. i guess i will just have to deal with figuring the rest out! i really just wanted my day to be perfect!!!

It won't be exactly what you expected, but it will be perfect.

It will be perfect, you're marrying the man you love regardless of whether you have equal numbers etc. Focus on what's important and keep breathing...

I know how you feel my moh .,backed out 26 days before and she was my best friend for 20 some years . how can they do do it>>>

As long as the one you're marrying shows up, it'll all be good.

There isnt anything to figure out. You offer your condolences (and DONT get mad). And you are simply short one bridesmaid. Leave the prgrams and such as they are, just dont worry about it. If you wanted you could mention the bridesmaids FIL at the wedding or reception and have someone do a moment of silence for their family.

I had a groomsamn drop out less than 24 hrs before the wedding. His mom passed out and he had to rush her to the hospital at 10pm.

I didnt care about ANYTHING except my friend and his mom. Dont be mad. Its life and you will be fine. Its just a girl in the wedding...as opposed to something REALLY bad. (dont want to list things ya know).

And as far as it being bad luck day I disagree. It rained on my day!!! *I* had someone drop out. It could happen any day, any time. Dont worry and just enjoy.

Life happens and you're NOT dying. The woman's husband just lost his father. You would be there with your husband, wouldn't you?

Offer your condolences, send a card/funeral arrangement, and move on. She can share it with you via pictures.

I agree with everyone saying to send your condolences and not get upset with something she couldn't do anything about. Even though she may have seemed distant or not interested in doing what you asked she didn't leave out of spite.

Also, don't waste what little time you have left on being upset about this, just try to focus on alternatives. Trust me someone would love to be in your wedding no matter when you asked.

Sorry to hear but in this situation, no you shouldn't be mad. her father died, it's not like she's skipping on you to go to some other party or something. GL.

This is definitely not something to get angry or frustrated with her for. Being down one bridesmaid won't throw off your wedding too much and if there are problems, you can always quietly explain why she isn't there, if needed.

The best thing you can do is send her a sympathy card, offer your help, and be happy about your day and try not to stress.