Bride with panic/anxiety disorder...HELP

I mean, obviously you should be bringing this up to your therapist and maybe they can start you on some sort of medication to help you.

I have been diagnosed with GAD. I don't have panic attacks, but I understand where you are coming from with anxiety. For me, the ceremony was cake. I really didn't look at any of the guests. I looked at my man, and he and I just made jokes and laughed through the whole ceremony. No one else mattered in that time... honestly, I don't even really know what the officiant said.

You can get through it. Learn and practice your breathing and coping mechanisms that your therapist should be teaching you.

Following!! because I myself suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, sometimes it really ruins my planning mood. Some days I'm so panicked and anxiety filled that I overthink things and freak out completely. Talk to your therapist more about how to deal with the pressure that comes with a wedding. It can be done and honestly as nervous as I am I think when the day comes I will still enjoy it even if I panic at 11 am that a centerpiece doesn't look right or I might fall. You honestly can't think about it, easier said than done I know but dwelling n it and thinking about it will only make it worse. and @Kittyprawn is right your therapist should be teaching you ways to cope and manage your anxiety.

I can relate, I've been dealing with anxiety/panic attacks for the past ten years. Just remember what this day is all about. Celebrating you, your future spouse, and this next chapter. My FH knows how bad my anxiety can get, so he suggested we just focus on each other during the ceremony and remember that at the end of the day, it's about he and I. You can do it!

I understand your concerns. I have an anxiety disorder and sometimes have panic attacks, but luckily I haven't had one in months now. Wedding planning was really hard at times. Honestly, I barely noticed the other people during the ceremony. I was so focused on H the entire time. Have you talked to your therapist about this?

This was one of my biggest concerns, as I struggle with anxiety as well. I don't know if you are religious or not, but prayer helped me a lot... like A LOT. If you're not religious, meditation might help--I've never tried meditation before but I've heard it's similar to prayer in its calming effects.

On the day of the wedding I thought I would be a wreck and/or have a panic attack at some point, but I was somehow calm as I've ever been. I made it the entire day through. The ceremony was what I was especially worried about but I probably made it through that easier than anything. I had my eye on the prize (DH) and honestly didn't even think about all eyes on me because I was so focused on him. I think part of this was because our DOC was such a rockstar and took care of so many things for me that I didn't have anything to focus on and worry about, so if you don't already have a DOC I would suggest looking into getting one!

I did, however, have a few moments where I felt like some anxiety might be coming on so I went to the bathroom and reapplied my lipstick, or I would step away from mingling or dancing to get some water. It was just enough that I could regather myself and walk back out there. We also limited our mingling in favor of more time spent dancing, and I think that helped as well. The time I felt the most awkward was when we were cutting the cake but that was the shortest time we had all eyes on us.

I hope some of this helps!

You need to see your doctor, if there is time they can get you on something to help.

If the wedding is this month (most anxiety meds take a while to fully work) ask your doctor for a low dose of ativan, they will likely prescribe you 6 pills and tell you to come back and get on something permanent. At least that's what they did for me when I was freaking out about flying.

Are you anti medication? I know some people are but for me it's a lifesaver. I take lexapro daily and Xanax as needed.

I feel you. Luckily for me I don't have social anxiety, but I do have GAD and panic disorder. Mine usually rears its ugly head when suddenly worrying about finances for the wedding and all the intricate little details. I'm not sure when your wedding is, but you hopefully will have time to see your therapist and come up with a strategy to cope with anxiety on your wedding day.

It's all about managing your symptoms. If that means learning coping strategies to help you think through it in the moment, or anti-anxiety medication (I have a prescription for Xanax that I take as needed, which is a lifesaver), or a combination of both. I've found that the worst kind of anxiety is anticipatory, so if you can combat that by knowing your anxiety plan (thinking, "If I do get a panic attack, I am going to do x y and z to stop it), that should be tremendously helpful.

I have GAD and panic disorder too. I can usually manage through therapy alone, but recently I've had multiple major life events all at once (comprehensive exams, wedding planning, moving, mom remarrying...) and went back on meds. Maybe getting a prescription to get you through this particularly stressful time would be a good thing? It's made a world of difference for me. I am actually able to enjoy being engaged.

In terms of at the actual wedding, my FH, my mom, and my best friend know the signs to look for if I'm heading toward a panic attack. We also have a signal if I need them to rescue me Just knowing that other people are going to be keeping an eye on me and are aware reduces my anxiety a lot.

We all have anxiety and panicky moments. Look at the world we live in. Try combat breathing. 4 second inhale, 4 second exhale. It helps. Make lists and plan your day. List resources. Knowing when and where to go and having back up plan(s)helps. What helps me the most is to ask myself this basic question: If I don't get this done today ( whenever) what's going to happen? I think your choice of no meds is a good one.

@Nancy - there is nothing wrong with meds. If your brain has a chemical imbalance, it's okay to use supplements to help that, if they are needed. If you were low in a vitamin, you wouldn't hesitate to take a supplement, would you?

If she needs medication, even if it is short term medication, to stop having anxiety/panic attacks, she should seriously consider it. It is okay to need help. Coping mechanisms may not be strong enough for her levels of anxiety. That's a discussion that really needs to be had with a therapist/psychiatrist.

I also suffer from anxiety and I am on a low daily dosage of Celexa. I was leery to start taking medication but looking back, I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Breathing techniques do help when I can feel an attack coming on or removing myself from the situation that is the stressor, however you cannot always to that. Your therapist should be able to help you with some other techniques that could help.

With all of that said, you need to take care of you! Don't worry if about if your friends and family will be disappointed. Think about what you and your FH really want and do what is best for both of you. I'm sure that none of your friends and family would want you to do something to risk your well being just so that they can see you guys get married.

@KittyPrawn: I can see where you're coming from. I really can. However as a teacher I have 3-4 kids(on the average) every year that are on meds. Way too much. Our society is turning to meds very quickly. It would be my last choice.

Definitely talk to a doctor/therapist. But I also highly recommend meditation if you haven't tried it. It takes ten minutes and I have found that it really helps calm me down and be able to focus. Try the Calm or Headspace apps. They both have subscriptions, but you could just do the free sessions over and over if you need to.

Try to think of ways to eliminate focus on you (you are the bride so I know that sounds crazy). There isn't much you can do about the ceremony. Unless you have your guests stand with you for parts of it so it doesn't feel like sitting ducks all starring at you. For the reception I would do a round table with your wedding party instead of a sweetheart table. This way you don't feel singled out and are part of a group rather than facing out at your guests. Also, when doing your first dance or any other planned dances. Tell your DJ/band to let you two dance alone for x amount of time then announce for guests to join you on the dance floor. Try to modify everything that could make you feel uncomfortable or anxious. Hope this helps.

@Nancy medicating children is very different from medicating adults in my opinion. I too agree our society is too quick to throw some medicine at a "problem child." But as an adult, I'll choose my meds every day!

I’m in the same predicament please let me know if you got married.

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Hello! Yes I did get married and my therapist was so right when she told me that i would be so incredibly busy on my wedding day that my brain wouldn't even have time to start the horrible cycle of anxiety/anticipatory anxiety/panic. She was 100% right. Here are some things I did that I think helped me tremendously in keeping my anxiety at bay:

1. Forget the tradition of not seeing your husband/wife the night before your wedding. We slept at home together the night before and I know I would have been SO anxious if we were apart. It was really nice, so stay together at home or in the same hotel room.
2. Have the hair/makeup people come to you to do that stuff - don't go out to an appointment. One less thing to have to do.
3. Have your bridesmaids arrive ASAP in the morning (if not all together at a hotel). Like, early enough that you can all have breakfast together. They will help keep you energized and happy. The ONLY time I felt anxiety/panic on my wedding day honestly was when i left my fiance home and drove to my moms house (where we all were getting ready/taking pix). As soon as I got there, my bridesmaids were there and it was all good. I only had 2 bridesmaids but have as many or as little as you want.
4. Have at least 1 person know about your anxiety/panic and be your "safety net". Mine was my maid of honor. I even told her I might get so anxious on the alter while we are all sitting as the priest talks (since my fiance was on the opposite side with best man) that I might need her to hold my hand and distract me with jokes, etc. She also had little smelling salts in her and my boquets in case i fainted, and extra cold waters just to the side the alter. If course none of these things happened but just KNOWING i had them if i needed and that she was my safety net was key for me. She was also ready to do calming breathing exercises with me on the alter if I needed to. I also told our priest! I literally told him that i was afraid I might get a panic attack on the alter so might need to step outside for air (which didnt happen) he said that was totally fine with that and not to worry at all!!! So knowing that he was in the loop was tremendous.
5. Remember that you will see your fiance SO soon at the ceremony, and then you will be attached to their hip the entire rest of the day/evening. Seeing him/her dressed up and looking amazing/happy all day long is so so wonderful.
6. If you are doing a church ceremony and need to pick music to walk down the aisle to, pick something upbeat and cheery or like peaceful sounding. Don't do that traditional "Here comes the bride" song because its just so loud and in your face...our organ player played it for us once and I was like OMG just hearing this makes me anxious....he helped us pick a happy cheery song which was great to walk down the aisle to.
7. If the reception is what makes you anxious, just remember you can do whatever you want. Its your day.. We didn't do "bridal party intro's" or toss the boquet/garter thing since we felt like it would be too much center of attention. We did a first dance and mother/son father/daughter dances tho. If you feel anxious at any time just get up and go outside for a breather. But honestly there is SO much going on, you will see the faces of everyone who loves you, and you will BLINK and it will be over! It goes so fast its truly remarkable.
8. Have some things "on" you like good luck charms. I had a pin from my grandpa, a flower charm in my hair from my grandma, and a ring from my dad. if i felt nervous I would touch the pin or whatever and feel calm and like they were right there with me, and everythign would be ok.
9. EAT a big breakfast and have lunch and hydrate. Make sure your MOH has granola bars/snacks if you need to munch on something between pix. I literally ate a granola bar on the way to the church.
10. We drove in my fiance's SUV to the church bc for some reason going in a Limo made me feel too showy/thought it wouldl make me anxious so we kept it low key and drove in his car lol. My mom was going to get us a limo and I told her not to.
11. As soon as you wake up do yoga/medidate. Even for 30 min. Also try to do yoga/exercise as much as possible becasue that helps me so much with anxiety!!!!

There is literally so much going on you really don't have time for anxiety to spiral out of control or become panicky. In the days/months leading up to the weddingn i was so sure that I would faint in the back of the church as i was waiting to walk down the aisle.....but as soon as we arrived at the church i saw my family in the pews, famly and friends towards the back of the church and it was so wonderful to have everyone there and it felt like our little army of love/support. I was so calm, it was like kind of crazy. I look at my pictures now and I am so happy and so grateful that I didn't let my panic keep me from having a wedding and having these memories that i will forever cherish. YOU are bigger than your anxiety and don't let it rob you of your day. Also talk to your Dr. about maybe getting Xanax or something along those lines. I didn't take any but I had it on me in case I wanted to take it.. You can do it. Do whatvever YOU want and dont let family/friends/traditions force you to make certain decisions. We did many things untraditionally since it would help my anxiety and it really did. Good luck to you and sending you light and love!

Awwwe! I feel so blessed by your message @octoberbride. I am implementing some of these same things alrdy and such good ideas on the others! Scents in the bouquet?! Genius! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!

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I am so happy I could help!! Please write back and let us know how the wedding goes! It will be such a beautiful day, you will be blessed the whole time! xo What is your wedding date?