Breaking bread?

You are absolutely free to live your life the way you choose...if in fact, it IS your choice and not your FH's.

I'd also stick with your own cultural traditions. However, American women have spent a lot of time and energy to become recognized as equal partners in marriage, which is probably hindering your search.

Makes no sense to me :-S

Are you joking around? This sounds so crazy. I'm sorry if I come off as being rude, but that is some down right crazy 50s stuff right there. Do you have any goals, ambitions, for yourself? Sounds like you want to be smacked around.

I agree with Fins, lick his toes during the ceremony and cluck like a chicken too!

There are several marriage rituals involving bread, salt, wine and/or a combination of all three. That being said, they're usually used to symbolize partnership. I've never even done a wedding where the couple promised to obey, and if there was obvious language about the domination by the husband, I'd bow out. Just what I do....it's a joining of loving equals, not a granting of underling status to one or the other.

The best relationships are based on mutual respect, gratitude and reverence for the other partner, not dominance of one over the other.

Okay I get everyone has different outlooks on what a marriage should be, I don't agree with yours, but I'd say just do something that's appropriate for you two as a couple and don't worry about taking a tradition that is not within your culture to do..just work it into the vows somehow, or in some behavior I dunno..but personally if I saw this happening at a wedding I would be very uncomfortable..depending on what it was I'd probably leave.

Just out of curiosity what do you exactly mean by him being dominant? like letting him cheat on you, being isolated, hitting? or lesser forms? if you are willing to share that.. if not I don't blame you for not wanting to..you may be okay with this arrangement now..but will it ever get old?

Glenn:

Are you getting married on a Sunday morning? If so, are you Italian? If not, is that insulting if you're not Italian?

Having a wish tree? If so, are you Dutch?

Groom walking down the aisle? If so, are you french or jewish?

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Tink and Mrs. P - thanks! Thanks for the link, Mrs. P. =)

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Ab:

Domination doesn't negate love. In fact, to me, it demonstrates love. You don't have to cheat on someone to be dominate, and that's not at all what I'm talking about. My lover has the obligation to protect me and I'm confident he will make the best decisions in order to do that. That doesn't include disrespecting our relationship - or me. However, it's important to me that he takes control.

Nah, it won't get old. Will your "equal partnership" get old to you?

Some people prefer a marriage in which one partner is dominant. Some people do it for religious reasons, e.g., conservative Christians who believe that the wife should "obey" the husband. Some do it for kinky reasons--they get off on that kind of relationship. (In the latter situation, it may be either the husband or the wife who is dominant.) That kind of relationship is not even remotely my thing, but I can respect the right of people to enter into it so long as they respect my right to an equal partnership.

@Tink-I really thought (and still think) that this post is fake. Using thw word dominate, definetly throws one off. Marriage is a partnership. Not a "I'm better than you" mentality. With that being said, whatever floats your boat!

I think what Jamie T. is asking for is some historical input on traditions. I really like the idea, because I am into the same thing, i.e. using deep historical/familial meanings in weddings. Alot of follks here are may be making an assumption of what you're referring to, or are reading into your information negatively, unfortunately. You are doing a good job of re-stating yourself with patience and with tact.

Side note - "Breaking of bread" means taking a loaf of bread and literally "breaking" into it with two hands, i.e. at the center of say a crusty bread (like a french bread). I don't believe the means is to "breaking it over" someone's head. (That also gives me a funny visual! I finally caught on that it seems like it was taken here by some to to mean it would be "broken over" someones head!)

Very interesting information, nonetheless and thanks for sharing it. We have such a great, diverse group here of insights and traditions. I dig that!

Make sure to tell FH not to hit you too hard with the bread, it might knock some common sense into you.

IMO its a slap in the face to everyone that has every fought for equal and civil rights. Thanks

I don't think that she was trying to convey the "male dominance" in hitting... I think she was trying to say that they literally break the bread over the head (not by hitting) but like breaking bread....

I remember being a guest at a wedding (probably 20 years ago) where the minister was reading the Bible passage about wives being submissive to their husbands. Another woman in my row and I rolled our eyes at each other and afterward wondered aloud if the bride knew the minister was going to say that, because we couldn't imagine any woman in this day and age agreeing to it.

Ha! How are some interpreting that the man "smacks" the woman in the head with the bread? Was my above interference close, i.e.possible incorrect thought of the definition of "breaking of bread"?.

Here might be some insight, taken from a resource entitled the Jewish Virtual Library:

"When people speak today of "breaking bread", their meaning is clear: they are talking about dining. However, the original meaning of this seemingly simple phrase, which dates back to Biblical times, actually referred to the physical act of breaking bread. Even in antiquity, bread was considered so essential to the maintenance of human life that there was no act more social than sharing one's bread with others. In those days, people did not use forks and knives, but ate with their fingers. Thus, bread was never sliced, it was literally "broken" - or torn apart - to be shared. .."

Yeah-- thats what i was thinking... "breaking of bread" being sharing of bread

I am not getting married on a Sunday morning because I'm not Italian. I'm not walking down the aisle because I'm not French or Jewish. I'm not having a wishing tree because I'm not Dutch. I'm an American and I'll be having a traditional American wedding because that's my culture. I will not be stealing the traditions of people of other cultures.

Okay, that makes more sense to me, I was I think thinking about it in the extreme..nope equal partnership won't get old to me; I'm glad we get to make decisions together/decide what's best for us..I do respect your right for entering into the type of marriage you both want however.

Bert: This isn't fake. You have your own opinion that you're more than welcome to have. However, that doesn't mean everyone shares your views.

Magination: Civil rights = dissing someone who makes the decision to enter into a different relationship than you? I thought women's right meant I have the RIGHT to chose to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Or that I have the RIGHT to consent to being submissive in a relationship.

Thanks for clarifying that, Claire. Thank you so much!

And thank everyone else posting who supported my choice - regardless of whether or not you'd personally make the same choice. =)

I personally am going to stay at home with the kids for a bit when I become a mom. I don't want strangers raising my kids. Then when they hit school age, then I will go back to work and still be at home during the summers (and my FH is going to be too) He is a teacher already and I am going to be a teacher. I don't see it as degrading, I see it as being responsible parents.