Breaking bread?

So basically you want to have your FH smack you in the head with a loaf of bread?

It's your Wedding you can do anything that you want to, but why would you want to- is the question?

I've never heard of breaking bread and if FH smashed a loaf of bread on my head, I'd be inclined to kick him in the shins and punch him in the gut.

If you research the history of marriage, the whole institution is pretty much about the man's dominance (father "giving away" daughter, "Mrs" really means "Master's" as in "belonging to the Master.") Of course, nowadays we don't look at it that way - instead its about coming together to be joined legally and/or spiritually.

I don't know of any traditions that symbolize the man's dominance in the marriage, but that's because FH and I are entering into our union as a partnership.

I officiated a wedding where the bride was from the former Soviet Union (don't remember new name of her country). Her mom had baked a loaf of bread and had a small bowl of coarse salt. After the ceremony, she held the loaf and B&G each took as big of a bite as they could. Whoever got the biggest bite was going to wear the pants in the family! Then each took a pinch of salt.

Then all the guests took a bite of bread & pinch of salt.

It's not smacking on the head, it's breaking the bread over the bride. That's what it symbolizes, and we both want that. I want to do something that obviously symbolizes his dominance - not just something people will overlook. Also, I'm fairly into history and think it's extremely interesting. We're not doing many traditional things in our wedding and I think that could be like a joke.

Nancy, that's really interesting! I'm going to see if I can look into that.

I think traditions have moved away from male dominance and more toward equal partners, but if you're into history, then you know that most wedding traditions were designed around that. One word: "obey."

If Ian hit me in the head with a loaf of bread I'd be ticked. If you really want to do this I would ONLY suggest it if this is part of you/fh's culture. There us nothing more confusing or annoying than doing things from a culture that isn't yours.

We didn't smash cake in each other's face at our wedding. We fed it to the other but there was no smashing involved.

You want to do something to show his dominance? Are you saying he's the dominant presence in your relationship... and that it's not equal?

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around that. sorry.

I'm confused. Are you looking to actually symbolize your husband's dominance in your relationship or a way to poke fun at historical views of marriage?

J&R:

We are definitely going to work it into our vows. And while some wedding traditions do illustrate that, there are many that do not. And the ones that do get lost in the the norms.

Felisha:

Many aspects of a weddings come from different cultures. Yet still, people participate in them despite it not being from their culture.

Fins:

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

Nicole:

I do actually want to symbolize his dominance. It's not poking fun at historical views of marriage; it'd be highlighting the silliness of doing crazy things just for the sake of it.

Ok, you want to do this as a joke? That's just stupid. How would you feel if someone used a piece of your culture as a joke in their wedding or other event for that matter? I'm going to bet it might offend you. Traditions aren't made to be used as a joke.

As for ways of showing his dominance- I have to wonder why you aren't equals in the relationship. Why is he dominant over you? That just doesn't make sense to me at all. You're getting married and starting a life TOGETHER. He isn't any more important than you are.

Hmm.

Now that you've clarified my assumption I need to pick my jaw up from the ground. If you want to signify his dominance without it going over anyone's head why don't you just lick his feet and tell everyone in a toast that you will be the submissive, doting wife. And please, in the future try not to have any children that will be raised in this type of family views.

Wow........... are you gonna be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen too?

Awful, a marriage should be a partnership with neither being dominant over each other but if your FH has convinced you otherwise I guess more power to him.

Goodness.

Seriously? I'm not telling any of you to be anything but equals in your relationships. I was asking for some advice, not harsh criticism because how I chose to live my life.

She - yes, hopefully.

Jamie T I actually think that's pretty interesting, I looked up the history of it.

Ok, fine, I won't criticize, like I said, good for your FH.

As far as advice, I'd suggest you stick with your own cultural traditions, personally I think that it's beyond insulting to take someone else's tradition.

Jamie T, I didn't really find anything that symbolized the man's dominance but I did find a site with some interesting traditions from the past. http://www.hudsonvalleyweddings.com/guide/cakehistory.htm