BR: Am I rude if I don't go to this Baby Shower?

If you're really worried about offending your brother or his wife call your brother and explain your situation to him. I'm sure he'll understand. I wouldn't be offended if the situation was explained.

I would say yes it would be wrong without an explanation. Maybe you could explain to them your situation and who knows, they may offer you a room.

I thing it's fine to decline. They should understand it being so close to your wedding and all.

With it being your brother's baby I would say yes. Just because he might feel hurt. But then again with it being so far I can understand why you wouldn't go. I mean if you can't go I would let them know why and then just tell them that you are sending a gift in the mail or whatever.

I think since they live 4 hours away- skipping the baby shower is okay. I would however still send a gift. You could send it to the hostess of the shower so she can open it there and be surprised if you'd like.

Now, about staying with them- have you ever asked to? They are probably used to you getting a hotel, and not staying with them. Have you ever asked if it would be okay?

I wouldn't go either. If you guys aren't that close, she probably won't care. Although, if you're worried about keeping the peace, I would plan a visit sometime very soon (with FH) and mention that in your card/gift.

I don't think it's rude to miss the shower. I do think it would be a nice to send a card or gift. Also, on asking to stay with them, IMO, that would be rude. You don't invite yourself places. That's on them.

@Meghan - I haven't asked, but my mom has already been told no when she asked. I don't ask because I don't want to put my brother in a predicament, I know that he's fine with us staying but she doesn't want us there. That is what happened when my mom asked. My brother said sure, then had to call her back and say no, sorry. Ugh don't even get me started...

Thanks ladies, I think a gift and an e-mail to her and my brother will be fine. I've always tried with my SIL to just keep a happy face no matter what she does and go out of my way to be nice to her because I want her to like me, only because I really want to be involved in my nieces and any future kids life.

I understood when my friends and family couldnt come bc of travel. But do send a gift. That is your future neice. The wife may not b close but ur neice has nothin to do w/ it. You dont want them to think neg of you. Trust me... i was in those shoes. Sry if i came off bitchy

I dont think its rude at all since your so far away. I think I would try to to keep the word wedding out of your excuse though. And I would definately send a gift.

I think its okay because of how far they live away.... you could try explaining the situation and if its important enought to them to offer a room reconsider then.

I don't think it's rude... guys don't really care about those things as much as women. just send a very nice gift with a handwritten note... email seems very informal for your brother. there are places that can put a lovely basket together similar to this place:

http://www.prettybabygifts.com/baby-gift-basket.html

Because of the 4 hour travel time, I don't think it's odd to decline nor would I be offended. However, definitely send a gift, one to be opened at the shower would really nice with a note saying sorry you couldn't be there and can't wait to meet your niece