Being vegan at a non vegan wedding

View Quoted Comment 'cause stomach cramping and other Gi issues are no big deal. Oh wait, they are a huge issue.

Reintroducing animal products is something that needs to be handled slowly and carefully, not because someone can't be bothered to contact their caterer

I am making most of my catering options vegan-friendly because I have quite a few vegans attending my wedding. I have meat options as well, but the sides are all vegan-friendly. Nowadays, it's pretty easy to make things accommodating for everyone. I'm sorry that was the response you got.

It really shouldn't be that big a deal for their caterer to make one vegan meal with ample notice. My venue was able to handle ALL dietary requests with no notice, as they took all orders at the tables on the wedding day. I would go back to her and say, "well, roasted vegetables sounds great, but I can't have anything with dairy in it, so the buttery crust and parmesan cheese is out. Can you please just ask them if there's anything they can do?"

And if she still says no, then I guess all you can do is eat before you go, and hope there's a salad course with a non-dairy dressing on it. It sucks, but eating before or bringing snacks with you is better than going hungry all night.

I actually have a bridesmaid that is vegan. We are doing a buffet style dinner so I knew there wouldn't be much to eat for her since a lot is cooked with non-vegan friendly items such as cheese, butter, etc. I opted to contact my caterer and ask them to make her a vegan meal so that there was no cross-contamination. They were more than happy to do so and at no extra cost to us too.

I would reach out and just ask if that is a possibility. It is no one's business why you decided to live a vegan lifestyle and all guests' dietary needs should be considered in my personal opinion. I would never let my friend or any guest go hungry at an event i'm hosting.

I would just write it in. If they can't accommodate you, eat before you arrive and maybe bring a protein bar in your purse.

Do they not have a box or line on the RSVP card for dietary restrictions and allergies?? If not I would say contact them directly and let them know.

View Quoted Comment Nope, no box. I reached out and asked and I was basically told “tough cookies”

View Quoted Comment I understand this. I don't eat beef or pork or drink sodas, and haven't in almost 30 years. If I were to choose to eat some now (or even something that were cooked next to either), I would be in the bathroom for days! At some point, it no longer becomes a choice!

That sucks that she responded that way. I'd tell her to ask her caterer if they can provide something without the crust or cheese. If not, then I'd eat before the wedding/bring snacks and check out the appetizers for vegan offerings.

If I were you, I would bring my own food. Especially since you asked the bride about it already. They now know you cant have the veg. option, so now, you can bring food that you know you can eat. If you were to go to a party, you would bring something you know you can eat, this isnt any different.
In planning my own wedding, I am irritated that the caterers I have contacted have told me that they can totally give me vegan options on the menu...only to find out that we will be eating a veggie tray (with ranch dressing...which isnt vegan) and bread-which probably isnt vegan. So, my vegan guests get to snack on carrot sticks and broccoli while everyone else get choices. My sister, also vegan, told me she picked out her MOH dress with pockets for a reason-to hide snacks. I think we vegetarian/vegans have to learn the art of concealing food.

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I agree! im allowing 3 gluten free meals only to those who are allergic to gluten, not simply those who have decided to be gluten free just because.

Being a vegan by choice is not a dietary restriction or food allergy

View Quoted Comment Some people, including myself do it for health. Saving the animals is just a bonus. And the longer you’re on the diet, the harder it is for your body to digest things like meat and dairy. Me, or any other long term vegan, who does eat meat or dairy can expect to spend all day curled up in a ball or on the toilet. Are you implying that my “choice” that has a positive impact on me, the animals, and the planet means I shouldn’t be allowed to eat at an event?

View Quoted Comment It’s definitely frustrating when chefs or caterers think all we eat is plan vegetables when there’s SO many other options out there for us. It does not take much efffort to throw together a really inexpensive, flavorful, and filling vegan meal.

I would encourage you to go back and read where I said I did ask! I’m sorry my dietary restrictions, which I am very passionate about and bring great joy into my life, have brought out such a response from you.

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Talla, I completely understand and support your viewpoint. When I eat vegan I feel better--I have less inflammation in my body, I sleep better, my cystic acne disappears, my stomach is less bloated--and I equate this feeling to lactose intolerance for people that don't really understand veganism. Being vegan might be a choice, but not eating meat for religious reasons is also a choice, and others do not look down on that. Any time I have reintroduced dairy to my diet (after being plant-based) it has hurt my stomach immensely. Echoing my previous comment, I would bring snacks and see if a separate meal can be prepared (my caterer has this as an option).

View Quoted Comment It’s always nice to talk to people who understand it’s more than just a “choice”!

We are accommodating our vegan guests, but yeah, I get a big side eye when people say stuff like it should be easy to make a filling vegan meal. Well guess what, unless the caterer regularly provides vegan meals, it's not something they do, so yeah, you're likely to get something they just throw together quickly. They are not going to go out of their way to make something that they don't regularly make, for one or two guests.

We have three vegan guests, two gluten free, and one who literally had a short list of what she is allowed to eat. We are having special meals made for them because we care about them.

But yeah, I definitely don't put veganism in the same category as food allergies or intolerances. Sorry. I don't think that it's the same expectation for people to cater to you when it's a preference. I hate beef and I usually feel off when I eat it, but that doesn't mean that people need to bend over backwards because of my preferences. My fiance will die if someone feeds him nuts- I might get a stomachache. Not the same thing.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing your opinion on vegans. Now do you have a helpful suggestion on how I should handle this? I want to keep this on topic, this is NOT a space for people to talk about their opinions on veganism.

View Quoted Comment If the bride and groom are unwilling to accommodate, then you get to choose between eating a meal in advance, or eating what they provide. I don’t think there really are any other options.