T
Savvy July 2018

Being vegan at a non vegan wedding

Talia, on May 8, 2018 at 12:39 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 82
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I’m a relatively new vegan (just under a year!) so I’m encountering a problem with a wedding I will be attending this summer. I got the invite with the meal selection card and there’s only a vegetarian option. How have other vegan guests handled a situation like this? I’m sure I could find something to eat, but there’s some stuff in the vegetarian option I can’t eat. Any advice will help!

82 Comments

Latest activity by Cassidy, on May 19, 2018 at 6:32 PM
  • M
    0000
    Mim ·
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    Simply let the couple know what your needs are when you RSVP. Any good caterer can handle it.
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  • T
    Savvy July 2018
    Talia ·
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    It wouldn’t be rude to just write in my own little check box on the card?
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  • K
    Savvy August 2018
    K ·
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    I agree--I would contact the bride and groom and ask for a separate meal if possible. You could also politely ask for an idea of the appetizers (if any) that could tide you over. When in doubt, I would bring my own snacks. For personal reference, I have been on and off vegan (not strict) for a while, so I have included a few vegan options for my friends at our wedding because I know how difficult it can be!

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  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    It is not the couple’s job to choose a meal based on you. This is not an allergy- you don’t NEED to be vegan. I think if you politely called the bride and groom and nicely requested a vegan meal, that would be fine. But you don’t need to be vegan and they don’t have to accommodate your choice. I’m sure they love you so they will, however. Good luck
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  • CD
    Expert May 2018
    CD ·
    • Flag
    RSVP but contact them about vegan as well. Having just had this happen, I only had the vegetarian option listed but only because I didn't know I knew any vegans! I would've totally let the caterer know ahead of time and it wouldn't have been an issue.
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  • Mrs. Sponge
    Master April 2018
    Mrs. Sponge ·
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    If you contact the couple and let them know their caterer should be able to make accommodations for people with specific diets.

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  • M
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    Mim ·
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    Not at all, would you consider someone with a gluten struggle to be rude to ask for a gluten free meal? Or someone with an allergy to request something without that ingredient? Likely at this point animal products upset your stomach at the bare minimum, let alone any other reason you have chosen to eat vegan.
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  • T
    Savvy July 2018
    Talia ·
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    I don’t NEED it but it’s VERY important to me. And if I were to consume meat or dairy, I have no idea how my body could potentially react after not having it for so long. I’ve heard my other vegan that it can be hell on your insides.
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  • M
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    Mim ·
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    Exactly how do you know why she eats a vegan diet. There are plenty of people who discover that an animal product is difficult to digest
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  • Happy Hedgie
    VIP September 2018
    Happy Hedgie ·
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    I'd call and speak with the couple and ask if they have a vegan option. We are doing a set menu but, I have a space on our RSVP card for guests to indicate any allergies or special diet concerns (like vegan). Our caterer is more than willing to accommodate special requests as long as they know beforehand. I would assume most people will find a way to work with you if you politely let them know ahead of time.

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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    The OP didn’t mention anywhere WHY she is vegan. There are actually lots of medical reasons, allergies included but not the only reason, someone might have to/choose to go vegan.
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  • C
    Dedicated March 2019
    Chelsea ·
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    I'm vegetarian, and I've encountered this. I just let the couple know in advance and they found a way to accommodate it, since I gave them notice. I called them after I sent back the RSVP. I know I did veganism for a year, and when I gradually started being a vegetarian again, it made me sick with certain things I ate. So, sometimes you do need to be vegan for the risk of getting sick.

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  • Madison
    Devoted March 2019
    Madison ·
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    If this were my wedding and I had a guest that was vegan as in your case, I would prefer you call or text me asap, so I can ask the caterer as far in advance as possible. I don't think there's anything wrong with adding your own box, but if they get the card too late the caterer may not be able to make accommodations.

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  • T
    Savvy July 2018
    Talia ·
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    It’s my sister in law who is getting married. I just texted her to give her a heads up that I would be doing that. She actually said “the vegetarian option is a vegetable tart, so you should be okay with just eating around the tart I think”

    😡 that’s not how it works
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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    Ugh I’m sorry that’s the answer she gave you. Our caterer was super accommodating to all dietary restrictions/allergies. We had vegans, vegetarians, several guests who are gluten free, and a garlic allergy. Each person got their own plated meal at no extra cost. It would take your sister in law two minutes to e-mail the caterer to ask what they can do.
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  • EM
    Master April 2017
    EM ·
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    Lmao sorry her response is kinda funny in how off-base it is.

    Honestly, it sucks, but if I was you I would probably plan on eating before I went, just in case there wasn't anything to eat. My H is a strict vegetarian so he is fully aware that anywhere we go, they may not have things that he can eat. When we go somewhere that we aren't sure what food will be available or how it will be prepared, he either 1) eats beforehand, 2) brings his own food that he can eat (obviously wouldn't do this for a wedding though, lol), or 3) just realizes that he may have very few options to choose from, and eats whatever he can.

    Hope she is able to accommodate you, but you do have other options if she doesn't!

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  • V
    Super April 2019
    Valerie ·
    • Flag

    Being Vegan is a choice you have made personally. You can request a vegan meal but the couple has no obligation to get one as it is not a food allergy.

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  • T
    Savvy July 2018
    Talia ·
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    What if I’m vegan for health reason? Sure I don’t necessarily “need” it, but it’s extremely helpful to my heart. Saving the animals is just a plus 🐮
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  • Bride Brain
    Devoted May 2018
    Bride Brain ·
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    I just realized we chose a vegan option but called it vegetarian on the menu. I feel so bad now! The caterer needs to be able to do dairy free so you could mark vegetarian and add dairy free. I would talk to the couple though. Maybe they were "bride brain" like me and it is vegan.
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  • T
    Savvy July 2018
    Talia ·
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    They sent me the description and my SIL says it’s “roasted vegetables in a buttery tart with Parmesan on top”
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