Backhanded compliment vent. Updated!

@OP. your mom sounds like a jealous, narcissistic snit. You look great; the nastiness is literally and figuratively on her.

I am so sorry she hurt you. I totally understand my mom says things at times and I am like really did she say that.

Example- I got the pictures back from my wedding and she kept making comments about how beautiful my niece looked. (yes she looked beautiful) However she never said I looked beautiful as the bride or that my 2 daughters or my sister looked beautiful only my niece. I simply brushed it off because everyone else kept saying how beautiful of a bride I was.

Girl, I so know that pain. I don't know that this is fair of me to put on her, but I tell people that my mom is part of the reason that I gained so much weight over the last 2 years. The consistency of judging my eating habits or any ounce of weight gain has never been an encouragement for me to make healthier choices, but rather a push to just go to the donut store another time.

I'm finally out of her house and am doing so much better. But now she tells me all the time how great I look with the weight that I put on the last few years, and that pisses me off too!

Keep doing what you do. Be happy. And screw what anyone else thinks of your appearance but you!

First off, you look amazing. Second, my mom and grandmother do this shit all the time. Grandma said "oh you postponed the wedding, atleast now you can lose some weight before the big day" like wtf. And my mom had said stuff about my weight every time I've seen her.

You all have been so helpful, I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with this. My grandma is the most negative b in the world, to think my mother was raised with her is sad. She probably gets it from her

Well how do you think I would react to being lumpy mother.... Ugh

Ummmm. you look amazing. I would l kill for that shape and that hair!! WORK IT!! I would be so hurt too, I get the "you have gained some weight since moving back to town 3 years ago" stuff all the time, which I have and I am working on.. but come on!

@Soontobemrs, I agree, I knew I had gained some weight, but calling me what she did was so damn extreme. I moved out of town too, and into a home with my fh. She still manages to keep a watchful eye out for my weight, lol.

My mom says stuff like this all the time

She's just projecting because of her own body issues. Agreed your body looks amazingly toned and tons of women would kill for that booty!

But honestly... even *if you were* overweight or even obese, the lumpy and bumpy comments would still be out of line. Unfortunately we still live in a society where people think it's appropriate to provide unsolicited commentary on other people's bodies ESPECIALLY when said person begins losing weight. Probably moreso with older generations like your mom's.

I'm glad you mentioned that your grandma is a piece of work and you think your mom's mean comments stem from that upbringing. If you choose to have kids of your own, this is one of those lessons you can tuck away in your pocket as "Things I'll Never Ever Say to My Kids."

@lovrofthearts, yes, definitely a lesson learned, my children will never be talked to that way!

@Future.Mrs.Fox, you look great in that photo, and I’m sure you look great now. Just focus on being healthy, and ignore any BS comments from people.

My grandmother used to comment on my weight regularly, and keep track of my eating habits if we were eating together. Long story short, she’s emotional abusive and I cut her out of my life. Your weight and your body are nobody’s business but your own.

Ummmm not to sound creepy, but your ass is amazing!!! Haha. Who doesn't love a little lump and bump?? Mothers think because they birth us they can say whatever they want. Sometimes even mama needs to be put in her place!!!

@futuremrsfox it could be manipulating you into losing weight. However, what you said about her reaction to you losing your virginity makes me think she wants to make you feel bad about yourself so she can control you easier. I'm sorry

@ Kay, yep, I can totally see what you mean...

@futuremrs.G, no creepiness taken! Lol

I want to be lumpy and bumpy if thats what that picture is!

Maybe she was just trying to say how great you look now, kind of trying to let you know that whatever you are doing is paying off??? Some people are just clueless when they are saying things sometimes. My Aunt is like that, she means well she just has diarrhea of the mouth sometimes.

I'm really sorry your mom is doing this to you @FMF, that's terrible. You are gorgeous and your hair is amazing!

I'm not sure of everyone's age but I can tell you as a woman in her early 40's with a stepmom who is 70, this is what women used to do ALL THE TIME. Commenting on your own and others weight, shaming for gaining, over praise for losing, constantly saying you were fat and needed to lose 5 pounds. It's exhausting but it was how we were raised. It took me years to stop that thought process but my stepmom is still all about it and it is infuriating.

@OG Lol, now you guys are just making me smile, much appreciated.

@cantwait, I get the feeling that she also may be clueless as to a nice compliment, but either way I'm glad I told her. I think she'll think a little harder before telling me something next time!