Asking Father's Permission/Blessing?

Mine asked my Dad. I thought it was silly since we already lived together, but he said it was respectful and would never have not asked (although he said if my Dad said no, he'd marry me anyway lol)

I do have to add that when my FH asked (both) my parents for their permission/blessing, their response was "Finally! It's about time" - we had been together for 9 years at that point.

A handful of months prior to him asking we moved to NC and my parents had a "talk" with us, saying (out of concern for me) that they wanted to make sure it was serious and that we were looking into a commitment with one another (a future marriage). My parents are very traditional, so this conversation did not surprise either one of us, nor were we offended in anyway. My parents did not want me living with him prior to getting married, however, they "bent" their own rules when I decided to go to grad school 300+ miles away from home (move to upstate NY) and again when I accepted a job 600+ miles away from home (move to NC).

Had my parents for whatever reason said "no", then we probably would have talked it out as to "why" - because honestly, after 9 years - I would think they would have expressed any concerns before that time (as I have a close relationship to my parents).

For me personally, it is just the respectful thing to do. Maybe it was the way I was brought up? I do not think it says anything about my independence or that I am anyone's property. My dad is walking me down the aisle (my Catholic church says it's the traditional thing). I do not know if they will say "who gives so-so away", but I do not have a problem with that either. I see it as my parents supporting our decision to marry. In order to get married in the Catholic church, we needed to get four people (two for myself and two for FH) that supported the marriage (they prefer parents) - it was signed documents with questions that we needed to provide the church. Therefore we did have the conversation with our parents and they all gave their blessing (verbally and written).

For me... I'm 39, and I'll be 40 when I'm married. If my father was alive, I would have wanted FH to ask him. Not technically for 'permission' because I've also been on my own since I was 17. But, For FH it would have been a way to initiate a conversation. But all that being moot, since Dad is dead.

I wouldn't have wanted him to ask my step-dad or mom because I literally have no respect for my mother. Neither of them raised me, my father had custody of my sister and I. My mother is Narcissistic Personality Disorder and would have made it all about her. Yes, it would have made her happy, but I'm not all about sucking up to my mother. That ship sailed years and years ago.

I stress that I *think* he asked my son, only because I don't know. And even then, it wouldn't have been asking permission to marry me, but permission to join our family. It would have made my little man (almost 13) feel special and important. And having my permission to join the family is only one small part of my life... I have three children, and of the three, two are still in school at home (one is off in college). He's going to have as much of an impact on their lives as he is mine, and therefore the decision is as much theirs as mine. If my kids truly hated FH, I wouldn't marry him. There would be something about his personality I missed.

He asked my dad because he knew it was important to me... then FH and my dad went to pick out my engagement ring together.

FH did not ask for my parents blessing. But I'm pretty sure it was because both my parents had referred to him as their future son-in-law, and "my husband" on many occasions so he assumed that that was blessing enough.

What about second marriages?!

View Quoted Comment Ridiculous. First to be talked with, asked, is your future spouse. If you agree to marry, and want to both go see either set of parents, fine. But tell them you are marrying, don't ask. You are adults, not children, so act like it. And expect parents to treat you as independent, capable adults who know there own minds. . Remember: If you even hint that you want their permission, or hint you are seeking their blessing, what do you do when they say no, and start telling you a list of reasons why not, including all the things they see as wrong with your intended spouse? ... This would not be a bonding moment, and would hang like a dark cloud over all of your planning. Nicely tell them your plans, we are going to plan our wedding in_____. Month if you know. Where if you know, as in, near you, near our home, somewhere else, ir have not made a firm decision when or where. But are definitely getting married. If they are nice, and gracious, they will be excited, or tell you you have their blessing. But do not ask, when you know you will do it anyway.

My father is not in my life and my fiance has always said that if he ever meets my father, he will punch him in the face. However, my fiance is very old fashioned. So, unbeknownst to me, he did ask my mother and grandparents just a few weeks before proposing.

My FH didnt ask for a blessing from either one of my parents, but did call my mom to let her know that he was planning on proposing before he did

So my FH asked for my moms blessing before he proposed and we both asked my dad for his blessing after he proposed so he wouldn’t have a choice but to give us his blessing 😂

My FH asked permission. It's always been very important to me and he knew that, but it was also important to my Father and to FH himself. So, he asked, Dad said yes and he proposed a week later. I've talked to Dad about it before and FH actually showed him the ring.

Following this. What about second marriages when BF and I are in our 40’s?!?! My father also is not super supportive of us...