Asking Father's Permission/Blessing?

The very first time FH and I discussed getting married someday (about 4-5 months into our relationship), I told him he was not allowed to ask my dad for permission to marry me.

We both told our parents before we were 'officially' engaged, and they were the first people we called when he gave me my ring.

He didn't. I told him how sweet it was that my dad asked for my grandparents' blessing to marry my mother after they had been dating for 6 months, because like my FH, my dad isn't a romantic guy. After he asked me, I asked if he had asked my parents. He told me he didn't need anyone's permission. I didn't think of it as permission, but more of letting them know he's serious and as a sweet gesture. We both knew how much they already love him, though.

If anyone had asked my father's permission, the wedding would have been off! I don't understand why it would be "respectful" to consult my parents before consulting me. It seems to me I am the one with the more direct interest.

I am on the same page with the idea that I am not a piece of property and I did not want him to ask for their blessing. On the other hand, my parents were very traditional and felt that it was disrespectful to not be asked. In the end, FH ended up telling my parents so that they knew and then asked. It caused some issues, but I have a hard time with feeling like I have to be told what to do and when.

Fh asked both my parents for their blessing. I guess my dad looked at him and said, "why are you asking me? Shouldn't you ask her if she wants to marry you?" My mom told my dad to shut it and stop being a jerk and said they would love to have him officially be family.

FH did not ask my father as I am not close with my him, but he did ask my mother and my son for their blessing before it he proposed.

My FH, tried for a couple weeks to get my father alone, He knew that it was important to me, I had no idea that he was going over to my parents house after work trying to talk to my dad. Finally they took a drive together and my father gave him his blessing. The proposal was amazing and when i called my parents and let them know i spoke with my mom and dad and they were so happy for us. they Love FH anyways but i liked that we followed the tradition.

He didn't ask for permission, he sat down with both parents and showed them the ring. It was a good mix for my traditional father and independent me.

My FH asked for permission because I told him to.

My FH did not ask permission. I would have been upset if he had. I am super close to my parents, but I'm 32 years old and have been out on my own for 10 years. He did tell my parents prior to asking me and showed them the ring, but just more as a courtesy/ heads up.

It is really interesting how age changes the dynamics. =]

Thanks for the input ladies.

My dad gave my FH permission/blessing within 6 months of us dating! My FH is like a second son so he just let him know that he would be happy if he ever decided to join the family. My FH did not ask my dad before he proposed because my dad is so terrible at keeping secrets!

The day my FH asked me, he went to lunch with my dad, ring in tow. He told my dad that he would ask me to marry him no matter what, but that it meant a lot to get his blessing. I think he wanted to make sure my dad liked him enough as a partner for his daughter rather than asking if it was okay. FH has old soul tendencies, and this was something that was very important to him.

FH asked for their blessing and coordinated with them to be at a restaurant nearby so after our engagement dinner we met up with them for champagne to celebrate.

He didn't ask my dad permission, he went and talked to him and basically wanted to let him know he was planning on proposing to me. I didn't care, regardless if he talked to my father or not we would have gotten engaged. My dad wanted a moment with FH to just talk and give advice.

In my parents religion, you must ask permission from all living biological parents. Out of respect for their traditions and beliefs, my FH asked both of my parents before asking me. Since we've been together for 6 years & they've basically been asking when the wedding would be for years, they both said he was silly for asking. I know they both very much appreciate and respect that he asked though.

FH did not. Mostly because he wanted it to be a total suprise to me and was worried one or both of my parents would slip up sometime beforehand and give it away. They aren't good at keeping secrets from me

Kind of. He went to show them the ring and made sure they were okay with it, but he didn't actually ask. Not asking was important to me, but I'm okay that he talked it over with them.

FH went to get my dad's blessing bc I insisted. It was & always has been incredibly important to me. FH felt the need to do so in person (while I thought a phone call was good enough given the 13 hr distance). But when he talked to my dad my dad was sure to include my step mom (who is no different than my mother to me). Then he proposed at their house on Christmas morning. Honestly every guy Ive seriously dated has said to me they wanted to/planned on marry me, many told their friends, my friends even their family but when they talk to your dad thats when you know its real.

H certainly didn't. For a couple of reasons. Mostly because I just think it's the most ridiculous, antiquated tradition of them all.

How stupid would it look for a woman to go and ask for the permission of the man's parents before saying yes? Very. Even if you word it as blessing, it still is a very one sided thing.

Now, speaking to all the parents (both sides) after the fact and asking for their blessing for the marriage etc is a little different - essentially asking them to support you.

It's just one of those things that really, really bugs me because it's still so wide spread and common.