Are you offended by "Pretty Princess Days"?

It only bothers me when it's due to lying - getting married in secret & pretending the "wedding" is the real thing. There is no excuse whatsoever for lying. If you're going to sneak off & elope, or do JOP, have the damn adult decency to tell your family.

Or the one girl I saw on "yes to the dress" who got married, had a whole HUGE celebration. But apparently hated every detail & then a year later, literally said on the show, she wants a do over. That's selfish & that's a PPD. Do-overs are stupid, if you dont like something, change it as best as you can BEFORE the wedding, not go thru with it anyway... I mean really, if there's one damn detail I end up hating, I change it....

Other than that, everyone has their own reasons for renewals or doing wedding & then reception later. Judging their reasons is just disgusting.

I see nothing wrong with it, other it being referred to as a "pretty princess day." That string on the tk is why I canceled my entire account with them. Not because I'm personally doing one, but because women there were so horrible to each other; I couldn't stand even reading their vitriol. One of my best friends married her husband is a civil ceremony in a foreign country because they had to for his citizenship, and had a wedding and reception back here, I think it was a great time to celebrate with us and their families, and if they would like to put the time and expense into planning a wedding, be it the actual moment they're declared legally married for the first time or not, then I'm really happy to celebrate the happy moments of their lives with them too.

I don't think a JOP wedding then a big ordeal later should be considered a "Pretty Princess Day" (what an awful name!)

Some people like the privacy of it being just the two of them or a very small group and either their parents pester them about celebrating with family or their friends/family are really excited for them and WANT them to throw a celebration afterwards... and I don't see anything wrong with that. If you don't like the method- then don't attend, it's that simple. I would go, though.

Something I'm less understanding of are "Vow Renewals". If you want to renew your vows I don't think that warrants a celebration...(to me, the wording in particular makes me believe you weren't sincere in the first place...?) particularly if you threw a huge wedding already. If you want to throw another big party for a vow renewal I wouldn't expect it to be a do-over-wedding where there are $100 plates and lots of big gifts, etc. etc. I would be much less likely to attend that.

My opinion.

@Cheetah2B

I had the same thing done to me at tk. I told knotporcha about it though and she said she'd give the user a warning. I don't get people that send nasty pms on there. It's so pathetic. It's like, you can't tell me you disagree on the thread even though no one knows you? Really?

I found tk first and when I went to introduce myself and our plans was attacked and called all sorts of names, etc. It was ridiculous!! I immediately contacted them and had my account deleted. (Although I think the post is still up) I was really offended by the things they said and the whole PPD thing. I was shocked that only one or two women even attempted to understand and recognize the significance of our wanting two separate occasions. One was so intimidated by the other women that she PM'd me to tell me about this site where I have found you wonderful ladies!! In my opinion, the closed minded ones who want to call names are the real Princesses in all of this. And not in a good way.....

@Harley, I think it was me who PMed you actually! TK was horrible and I deleted my account that day. It still makes me mad that TK doesn't let you delete or edit posts from there though, and if you try horrible women will just copy and paste what you wrote so they can continue to harass you. WW is so much nicer.

My parents eloped. They later felt that they needed an official wedding in The Church. That ended up being the "big" wedding, and the celebrated their anniversary on that date (Until they divorced when I was a teen).

So I grew up thinking it was "normal" to have a civil ceremony which would at some point be followed by the "big wedding" at a church, and that's what I want to do.

I heard about this.. How I see it is why would I care.. If someone got married for whatever reason and couldn't have a wedding at the time, then decide to have one that is great, good for them.. If I was invited, I would go.. If it's a vowel renewal, second marriage, third marriage.. What so wrong about that?

I'm offended by the term pretty princess day. It's judgey & mean. And it's just another way of saying "I deserve this but you don't nah nah nah nah nah"

I am not quite sure why people care about what other people do? People get married in different ways for different reasons. If they want to have a celebration with friends and family - let them.. why does it matter.

We all deserve what we would like and dream of... if someone asks me to attend because we have a relationship of some sort... I will of course attend.

Also hate that people call them PPD - seems demeaning to me.

So, basically a fake wedding? Haha. Unless it's a vow renewal and that fact is obvious throughout the party, that's ok. But it's kind of weird.

Nicole C, I don't think a vow renewal sounds like a do-over or like the first time they weren't sincere. But then again, a vow renewal I feel like generally shouldn't be less than 20 years. On my parents 30th anniversary, they wanted to do a renewal to show each other and our family that they were still as in love as they were 30 years later and basically that if they had the choice they would still do it all over again. But a few years, even ten, is a bit much.

Agree with @2d Bride

I am quite amused by the terminology actually.

I see what you're saying and I get why some people have them, but I personally don't feel the need to throw another big party just to show my family I still love my husband after "x" years. It's just implied and/or demonstrated through our love of each other every day.

If you have the money and feel like doing it... More power to you. But I'm still of the opinion that its just a little silly. Call it an anniversary or something... I don't like the term "vow renewal".

Im not offended. What a silly thing to get offended about. Also I don't give two shits if the couple got married already and kept it a secret. I don't understand why it's such a big deal.

Meh we are doing this. We got married 7/20 and are having a celbration on 10/19/13. Everyone knows. If people want to know why they will ask me. I have flat out told people what is going on if they are offended or PO'ed about it. I dont really care.

In fact my co worker tried to lecture me about "rushing it" and I asked her how we where since I have been with him for 5 and half years. Enggaged for 2 and a half. And that we have gone through half our 20s together and gone through me in the hospital and she shut up. IDK people will talk smack no matter what.

Do any of you watch Long Island Medium? Loved that her husband planned a surprise vow renewal while they were on the cruise. Just them and the kids. It was perfect and made both of us cry.

No judgement on how other people spend their money. Wonder how many vow renewals are really people who did not get the original wedding they wanted? This is one way to do that.

Gifts sending for a wedding I am good with - Even if they were already married and I did not send a gift. I would not think you would send a gift for a vow renewal.

My FH and I technically got married in March at the JOP. We were already engaged when I got really sick and needed health insurance because my doctors appointments were getting more expensive than we could afford. So we went, with our immediate families, to the JOP (the only ones who know and we only took them because they are overbearing and insisted on being there). The ceremony lasted all of 3 minutes. It was cut and dry. The JOP didn't even stand up from her desk to perform the ceremony. We did this purely as a legality.

So we are having a big WEDDING (and yes I will call it that) to celebrate our love and our union. We didn't get the chance to have a meaningful ceremony, to say any vows, have a first dance, a wedding cake, etc. To me, while FH is technically my husband by law, at the real wedding (where we get to do all of those things and really profess our love and commitment to each other), he will become my husband in my heart and mind. (cont)..

I know a lot of people who do a smaller ceremony and a large reception later. Maybe not a full blown weddingish reception but still a reception.

It doesn't bother me, and for those who do it, it shouldn't bother them what others think.

The only thing I don't like, is when people lie to their families about it. If you're old enough to get married, then act like the adult you are, and be honest with your family that you're married, and want to have a reception so you're able to celebrate with everyone.

And to tell me "I'm an adult. I made a decision, I don't deserve a big wedding, and I should deal with that"...those that feel this way can go F themselves, truthfully. We only made that decision because I was sick and needed help.

And the reasons we aren't sharing this with the people invited is because of the judgements I've already read on here. "I would make less of an effort to go if they are already married" etc.

To tell me we don't deserve a celebration because we went in an office smaller than my bathroom and signed a piece of paper?....you've got to be kidding me.

Judge away. FH and I are fine with our decision and that's all that really matters.