Are you a picky bride?

I want to remind of the point of the wedding. While a perfect typeface may seem like a big deal- in 20 years, will it matter? Your guests won't care.

There are a few things not to compromise on. Choosing a good photographer is important. Choosing a good DJ is important. Choosing a good caterer is important. But interivewing them all like they are being nominated for the Supreme Court might be a bit much.

If you stress over it this much now- where will your mind be on the day of the wedding? With your FH and your life together, or on the decor that is 1/2 inch out of place? Will you be able to step back and let your friends do the decoration while you get ready- or will your day be stressful and hectic because you have to nitpick over it all?

Just a few things to keep in mind...

And to do this for four years? Nothing's gonna seem right.

I'm actually not having a DJ or caterer, or any guests outside of family either, but I get your point. Part of the reason I decided on a small wedding in the first place was because it would for us. I got that part down, apparently I can't get down anything else

I agree with what Meghan said. There's a few important things and the rest are just the small things that shouldn't sweated over. I was so worried about the details that I got my venue at 8am and walked the whole inside and out side for hours. When the decor and florist got there I had to walk the whole reception area to check each and every table. My mom handed me my bouquet minutes before the ceremony. It was all wrong I almost refused to walk down the isle. Do you want to be like that on your wedding day? By the time the wedding was over I was having so much fun at the reception I forgot all about the imperfections. Why stress over it before hand? My pictures and close (won't lie) families tell the stories of a beautiful wonderful day.

Can i ask why is the date so far out??

Hey Peony,

I think it's ok to be picky about your wedding even down to the typeface. I guess i understand the whole typeface deal because i have some branding sense but sure, a typeface can totally be a big deal. Same thing for flowers too. That said, there does come a point to where you HAVE to just make a decision OR have someone make the decision for you. When my wife, Lauren and I got married, we were pretty picky ourselves. Of course, we didn't have the budget to be super picky but we were picky enough to where it was the downfall of our wedding cake (haha whole other story).

Having a really good coordinator will help you because that way, if you pick the right one (no pun intended) that you're comfortable with, it'll allow you to let go a little. And honestly, if you want to enjoy your wedding day, you're going to have to let go a little sooner than later.

Oh and btw - our photographer was from out of state as well

I know what you mean! I have to give my self deadlines to make up my mind on anything!

I find it way to easy to say no and really hard to say yes love it lets go with it

I am Def picky and now people are calling me a bridezilla. I have not been planning one of my close friends has picked up the planning while I study to get my insurance license and she told me lately I have turned into a bridezilla and that I am very picky. I just want my day to be perfect and if I don't like it tough luck.

Peony, you can be as detailed as you want about your wedding (as long as you are not imposing your standards of perfection on anyone else), but you will drive yourself MAD if you do this for 4 years. 4 years out, you should be looking for ideas and getting a sense of what you do and don't like, but wedding styles change every season - that's 7-8 more times before your wedding. Careful, or you'll burn out before you even get close to it.

I was curious about the wedding date as well so I looked at Peony's profile. She has this on it "If you're not entirely sure about a vendor, provide a wedding date years from now. Vendors are less eager for business that is 3+ years in the future."

But I agree with Caitlin, you may need to start setting deadline for yourself on when you need to make a final decision. or if you ever come across the issue of liking TOO much, set a date on when you are no longer allowed to look for new stuff and that's when you have to start weeding other things out.

Peony it's your day. You should have whatever you want. If you need to look a every bridal shop in the country, buy 4 to choose 1 dress. It you have the time, money and energy go for it. I am dying to have a white Cinderella carriage for my wedding. As of now it doesn't exist where I am getting married and will cost 22k to fabricate. I don't know how but come June 22nd 2012, I want my 2 white horses and Cinderella carriage!

I would say if you are that picky don't commit to a dress or venue now. You have time. Styles, your taste and mood will change. Good luck.

To answer everyone's curiosity about the wedding date, it's not set in stone, but it is relatively far out. I exaggerated the year a bit to keep away vendors, but even so, it's still might be 2 or more years. FH is in the military and there's a lot of unknowns about where he'll be. I don't want to be one of those brides that elope just because their significant other is deploying. I want to be able to plan a really nice ceremony, so I'm allowing extra time to let everything come together. I also want to give myself something to do while he's away, so wedding planning will at least keep me occupied.

Peony I am also very picky! However, I think it is quite appropriate to be picky BEFORE the wedding day! You want your day to come off without a hitch. And I am sorry, some events are PERFECT and they are executed just as the planner/bride intends. Picky planning now will make it so that you do not have to be a wreck the day of.

I am personally tired of hearing what your guests will not care about! No that is what YOUR guests will not care about. So far my guests appreciate the things I have painstakingly considered and put together. They loved the embossed monogram on my invitations I spent hours creating. The raved over the silk in my invitations it took me several days to choose. So far there has not been a single detail of my planning that has been executed that has not gotten a response... & just the response I wanted.

So plan and be picky! People who know you will know how much time and effort you put into things and appreciate it and tell you so!

*stepping off soapbox*

Its because you're an artist. I have the same problem. I'm a fashion designer and do graphics as well, so of course for people like us we have a very specific vision in our heads. Be picky! Make it perfect! You certainly have enough time, I wouldn't sweat it.

EDubbs...Well said! Yes, I am a picky bride. The most important things to us are the food, booze, DJ and setting a nice table. I may be having biker themed wedding in a not so fancy venue, but my attention to the little details have been our personal touch on everything. Our guests appreciate the little things. I want our guests to have an incredible weekend filled with love and fun, in Vermont.

Just don't stress yourself out over the details. I have been lucky enough to be given a second chance. So, I have been enjoying hte wedding planning.

Re the date, I have never been bothered by vendors. A few Chinese companies have sent pm's but other than that, there is no probelm.

I agree with EDubbs and Carole B. I also am a picky bride. I want things to be as perfect as they can be. The day of my wedding if things happen to go wrong well at least I know I did everything in my power beforehand to hope they would go smooth. If they don't then it's out of my hands at that point. But up until the day of my wedding... I will pick and peck through everything I need to, in order to only hope that our wedding day was what we wanted it to be.

Yes I hope guests notice it and pay attention to every detail. And as of now, everything that I have put into it (STD's, Thank You Cards from my shower, etc.) everyone has commented on them and said how much they loved them and how unique they are. But to be completely hononest, at the end of the day if FS and I look back and remember everything being the EXACT way that we wanted it to be on our wedding day... well I think there couldn't be anything else that could have made it anymore perfect.

I think it's okay to a point. I'm being picky on some things. Our budget is very tight so I want to make sure I'm finding the best I can for the price I'm willing to pay. It's working out, but I do tend to second-guess myself. Since I'm a teacher, I'm trying to get most of my major projects finished before the school year starts back up. It's hard because some major details need to finished before I start "perfecting" the minor ones! Good luck. I think it is harder with a longer engagement because you have longer to dwell on every little thing. We got engaged 2-1-10. I'm glad I at least waited a year to start most of the planning.

I agree with Clare (And Edubbs btw). I think anyone with any kind of artistic background gets these ideas in their head and nothing else is good enough or "right". Unless you find something better

I am a picky bride too. Picky, organized and very detailed oriented. Maybe my guests WON'T notice or care, but I will, and so will my DH and children. WE will be able to look around and LOVE the way everything looks; love that our ideas have come out the way we'd hoped; love that we got our 'theme' across to our guests; love that being picky and detailed made everything uniquely ours and so special.

That being said, I know that things rarely go *perfect* and if something doesn't turn out right, I'm going to have a good time anyway! Even if the "worst" happened and no one at all shows up except DH and I LOL!!

Well I'm super picky but just realized a couple days ago my Fiance' is just as picky if not more!!!! LOL I'm grateful that at least he's sitting down and looking at wedding stuff with me

I thought I was, but it turns out I'm really not...