Anyone regret having a small ceremony? (Kind of a vent)

I *wish* we had a small ceremony. Having an intimate wedding reduces a lot of stress and saves money as you mentioned. The most important thing is that at the end of the day, you'll be married.

MMM..yes and no..sometimes I do wish the guest list would be smaller (unrealistically smaller..lol) but I got over because I knew both families are big and what not..although, as soon as those RSVP's come back NO, I will be giving invites to friends that didn't get on the 1st list..

I had a small ceremony with only 5 other guests and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. The moment is truely about you and your husband! I love what you are doing! Go with your initial instincts.

My FH and I are doing the exact same thing - very small ceremony with just immediate family and a few friends. We're also doing the 2 "reception" thing - one party here and one party in CA, which is closer to a lot of his family. I'm so excited for our wedding to be just for us - and to be able to to have so much less stress. Less guest list drama, fewer weekends of venue scouting, etc, etc. Believe me, I have my moments of doubt, but I think that comes with the territory when doing something non-traditional. I have to say, I love what you're doing too

Honestly, I'm in the opposite position you are in. My confirmed guest list is currently at 141 and still growing, not good. That's actually small considering the amount of extended family and distant friends we have left out. I keep questioning the reverse, will I regret having this large affair versus something smaller. I keep pondering the amount of money that we have spent and the "time" making preparations for diy projects, etc. Is it worth it? I don't know yet? I guess I'll find out next Saturday. I just keep thinking my immediate family-myself, FH, and 3 kids should have just found a great beach, got married on it and had one heck of a vacation. On the other hand, I hope to only get married once and ponder the other side, would I regret not having all of my family and friends?

I'm only at the beginning stages of wedding planning, and after making a guest list am already up to 66 people (all of whom are family). My FH and I have pretty small groups of close friends so I'm looking at a reception of (hopefully) no more than 80 people. I think that this is a great number because it's not too small and not too big, and I will know everyone there and be able to just relax and have a good time. I am a very social person so I think anything small I would have not be happy with.

We are only having a handful of people at our Vegas wedding. Sooo glad we are having small ceremony to avoid family drama and everyone's "suggestions". We are so looking forward to our small wedding.

3 months from today we will be married!!

I'm in the same space as detailedplanner. I wanted something a little smaller - but the list is growing by the day. I get nervous about the amount of money being spent. I feel bad about all the time I'm focused on this and not on fh, work, etc.

Mary: We're getting married in Vegas, too--trying to keep the actual wedding budget small, and the site we chose has a maximum of 50 anyway, so we're also keeping it to only a few people from our families and some close friends.

We're inviting people to an engagement party the month before the wedding in Wisconsin, where we live, and considering maybe also doing a reception in Missouri, where my parents live, after the wedding. For most people we know, traveling to Wisconsin is a lot cheaper and less of a commitment than going to Vegas anyway.

But I know how you feel, orchid--with the short guest list I do feel a little sad that I can't invite some friends! I'm not super close to most of my extended family, so that doesn't bother me as much. Ultimately, though, I think it'll be really nice that we'll get to really talk to everyone who attends the ceremony and after-party, and even have a buffet brunch with most of them the next day.

Cabell, you are getting married on my birthday!

I'm just finding that its alot more work than, honestly, I have time for. I'm stereotyping I'm sure, but most of you on here are probably 25 & under. I know some of us are older, but I'm referring to the majority. I'm 36, have 3 older kids who are very active in H.S. & middle school athletics, work full time, 2 dogs, and so on. I've been with my FH for 16 years, yes I said 16 years. I just sometimes wonder, we've managed this long w/o the grand party, why now? On the other hand, I don't want to regret missing the experience when I'm 80 and have no "wedding stories" for my grandchildren. Ooooh, yuck.....grandkids! I'm not sure I even want them, but that's another post.

I wish we would be able to have a small wedding. Our count is up to 260, we both have big families. Having a small wedding really helps the budget, mine is out of control, and i wish i wasn't my dad's only daughter. Now that i'm having a big wedding, I want to elope. lol

@detailed planner - oh man! I WISH i was under 25! LOL - I understand what you mean, though. I sometimes feel that I'm too old for this mess, too. But then I think "You only do this once."

Detailedplanner: I'm 28 and a graduate student, and honestly, even the planning for this ~40 person wedding is stressing me out a bit (admittedly, some of that is budget-related, graduate students not being known for our vast resources, but just the sheer size of the wedding industry not to mention a lot of unsolicited opinions from various sides are pretty overwhelming). I only have three cats, no kids, so I'm impressed you're doing it! I'm also lucky because my sister is a professional event planner, and she's been helping us out with a lot of the logistics.

Mary: Cool--did you schedule your wedding so close to your birthday intentionally?

One of my really good friends and her husband got married at the JP with their parents in attendance, then had 3 "receptions." One in the town he's from in NY, one with their friends where they currently live, and a third in her hometown in WV. They loved every minute of it and were able to spend more time with all the people in their life.

I'm having both. I have to say that I wouldnt be so happy and relaxed about the first wedding (2/28) being so small (12 ppl) if I didnt know in the back of my head that I was going to have the bigger wedding in September with everyone there.

Cabel, we were originally planning on getting married at the end of March, but then changed to May. It fit our schedule better, so will be celebrating my birthday in Vegas also.

@detailedplanner and mrs.Joseph-I'm 26, with 2 stepsons involved in sports (fall soccer, wrestling, baseball) and Scouts (I'm a den leader, FH is the cubmaster), 2 dogs, used to work full-time, but now full-time school and part-time workand I feel like IT NEVER ENDS! LOL. My mom told me "Welcome to Parenthood!" Haha. That's why our we're doing a destination wedding and very casual reception. Because I have other things I care about more than my wedding. The wedding is really only for my family (since I've never been married).

I wanted a small wedding of just family and really close friends 50 people mainly to cut down on the drama and not spending a lot of money. We found that to be difficult because we're both involved in organizations, family friends etc.. that tell you they can't wait to the wedding. We figured out a compromise that I think is going to work. We're inviting everyone to the wedding and having punch and cups cakes right after the wedding. Then we're having a small "family" sit down reception of about 80 people later in the evening.

It's still stressful which I didn't except it to be because I like to do things like this but I found myself having a hard time making decisions because it's for me and I want this to be a day to remember so I did invest in a planner which has helped a lot

@MrsHolland-what a great solution!