Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Super June 2010

Another Sad Breakup Story... 24 days before the wedding...

Flag
Hide content

Esther, on June 1, 2010 at 11:21 PM

Posted in Planning 145

I am absolutely devastated. It's been rough with the stress of us being apart. But I knew we would make it because we made it through 3 years apart and a 15 month deployment. I knew it would all be fine, even though he's been distant for a while. But as of a few hours ago I guess I was more wrong than I've ever been about anything in my life. I am finding it really hard to tell you guys. I am in tears writing this and feel like my last five years was for nothing. I feel so betrayed. It was his decision. I just can't believe this is happening to me. 24 days before the wedding? 18 days before I finally got to see him again finally? And less than a month before I give up my life here and move 1200 miles to be with him. I wish I could hate him for doing this to me. I wish I didn't have 250 RSVPs already. What do I do now? I really don't want to leave you girls, because you've been such a big help. I am just so devastated.

Show all

145 Comments

Super June 2010
Esther · on June 8, 2010 at 1:37 AM
Flag

Hide content
As for me, I am dealing with every day as it comes. I am moving into my apartment tomorrow (Tuesday) night. I am looking to start saving for a house, and spend some time working on me. I have a lot of support, and that helps.
Looking at what I've written so far, I must say I'm a bit surprised. I never thought I would be able to handle this so well. (Well, I think I'm handling it pretty well...) I don't know where this is coming from. I am starting to love myself even more, as ridiculous as that sounds, but I never thought I had this strength. I am so relieved to see that I am going to make it. I am going for some counseling tomorrow, because a few people are really worried that I'm going to have a huge meltdown (used to suffer from depression, and still have some rough patches) someday out of the blue. Michael was a huge part of my identity for 5 years, and we grew together, so I wasn't sure how it would be on my own. But I'm going to talk to someone, and I know that (ctd)
- Reply
Super June 2010
Esther · on June 8, 2010 at 1:39 AM
Flag

Hide content
(ctd) I will be okay. I will be better than okay. Someday I will find true happiness with someone that respects and loves me. I know it will take a while for me to find true peace with this whole situation, and be truly able to trust again, but someday these things will happen.
I want to thank everyone again for the support. It means more than words can say.
- Reply

VIP October 2012
Anren · on June 9, 2010 at 12:10 AM
Flag

Hide content
You're honestly such a strong woman, FML. Gosh. Your posts just bring me to tears. Your sense of self, your honest, raw responses... You're so levelheaded at this stage- which is fantastic.
You've got the right outlook. Don't let yourself be brought down again. I'm so glad you're seeing a counselor- if for nothing else but to talk. I'm sure your ex will see eventually (if he isn't starting to already...) but that doesn't matter. You've done all you can do. Isn't it wonderful to see the incredible strength you can have when you're forced to be strong? These next few months you'll continue learning things about yourself that you never would have known otherwise.... :] Keep positive.
- Reply