Alternatives to alcohol?

@MrsAtwood The point of the Miss Manners post is that with traditional etiquette it is not obligatory to serve alcohol for any social event and that part of being a gracious guest (the other side of being a gracious host) is accepting what you are offered gracefully. However, in circles where people are used to having drinks at a wedding, a dry wedding will definitely throw guests off. It's good that you are considerate of what your guests will enjoy and are doing what you can so that they can have a good time. While it's not technically poor etiquette to chose to serve non-alcoholic beverages only, brides and grooms that choose to go that route should be prepared for a less festive party and people leaving early or sneaking in their own alcohol. In areas where not drinking is the norm, no one will bat an eye.

@gymrat Yep. I enjoyed her book on wedding etiquette throughly and enjoy her column. She is certainly outdated on certain topics but I respect her expertise on traditional American etiquette.

Honestly if you don't have alcohol I'm either going to A go to liquor store up the block and buy some or B leave early and go buy me a bottle for to enjoy at home. My point is if people want to drink they will

If you already know what you're doing, why even make this post?

Per new guidelines we should flag for starting crap.

Materantiqua, I knew I wanted a dry wedding but I wanted to see if anyone had any other creative or different ideas from the ones I had already thought about. I wasn't trying to start anything I'm actually new to the site and wasn't really aware that this would be such a big deal. I knew it was somewhat of a hot topic based on a few random comments on other posts I had glanced at when I first joined a couple months ago but I wasn't aware the opinions were this strong or that the debate would be to this degree.

Again, I was just looking for other creative ideas that people had seen or had thought about for their own weddings.

Miss Manners should probably check herself when it comes to accusing an entire swath of a reader's family of the very serious disease of alcoholism simply because they like a glass of wine with dinner and think dry weddings are a bore. Last I checked, tossing around the label "alcoholic" like its nothing isnt particularly good mannered.

Ok - I know you asked for creative ideas. May not be creative - but they are ideas. I like what you already have - add to it. You can have hot teas, ciders, coffees. Then maybe add a s'more bar, popcorn bar, caramel apple making station. It could be a really fun fall theme.

I love the idea of a popcorn bar!!! I think that seems so fun!! I've also thought about some punny popcorn wedding favors. Caramel apples would be amazing too! and depending on the venue and if we have something to use for smores that would be fun. Thanks

There are so many cute ideas to choose from!

My FH and I aren't having alcohol either. Because...drumroll please...we don't drink. It's perfectly fine that y'all don't want to serve alcohol and I think cider is a fine choice for a fall wedding! Good luck to you!

Bryce, I believe I stated *I hope* they show up, I do... I really, really do. BUT, if they choose *not* to because they don't like what we're serving/having, then that's their prerogative and it's not gonna hurt my feelings. To each their own.

At the end of the day, it's about me and my fiance`, and a huge milestone in our relationship. Which is why there is a celebration to enjoy after- for everyone, not just my guests, but my new husband and myself as well.

If the reception was truly about them, there wouldn't be a bride and groom on a cake, or cutting the cake, or first dance, etc.. etc... it's ALL to celebrate the new Mr & Mrs as they embark on their new life together as husband and wife.

The favors and thank you cards are to thank my guests for coming- much like at a birthday party. I am not expecting anybody to buy new clothes- actually, I think that would be a bit much to expect. But, if they *want* to... knock themselves out. It's nice to get something new, but not a necessity to attend a wedding. If they ultimately *chose* to, then that is a choice *they* make and I am not responsible for that. If they have the means, and wish to... then it's not place to tell them what to do with their money. But, by no means do I owe them something for doing so either. A few years ago I went to my friends wedding. I didn't really have anything to wear, so I bought a new dress. Drove 2 1/2 hrs to her wedding and reception site. And bought a gift. I never expected anything from her. I did those things because I wanted to. Because I wanted to support her in *her* day. Besides, most of my guest list (like 97% of it) are from my church, and since most women wear dresses and men either suits or slacks and tie, I don't foresee this being an issue.

As for gifts, I am not having a bridal shower. And the only thing I am really asking for are cards so we can put in a scrapbook, as a "guest book". It will be specified, no gifts please- and that includes cash (even though I feel to specify that part would be rude).

And since sealing rooms in the LDS temple usually only seat about 30, not everyone will have to travel to witness our sacred ceremony. Really, all we want is for everyone whom wants to, to come out and help us celebrate our special day. Join us at our local church for dessert after their dinners, some music, light refreshments, and to witness those milestones like cake cutting, first dance, etc... Some have been apart of our story from the beginning, others not. We just want share our happiness with them. We don't want to have to put anyone out, or have them have to go the extra mile for us. We'd actually prefer they don't. We are preparing dessert to say "thank you for coming out, for supporting us, and sharing in our special day with us".

Telling me I shouldn't get married, or "have a ceremony", because *you* feel I am not thinking of my guests- simply because the way that I do is different, seems a bit narrow minded. I'm not telling you how to plan your day, your wedding or your reception, and really you have no right to tell anyone else the same. I am thinking of me & my fiance`. You know... the 2 people who are actually getting married. The WHOLE reason why all those guests would be gathered together. That day, our wedding day, is about us, our love, and our nuptials... and everything else is just "icing on the cake". Even if no one came, I'd plan my day exactly the same... for just the two of us. So sharing this momentous occasion with others shouldn't change that. Otherwise, then it's not about us. It's not about 2 people who fell in-love and decided to get married... and if it's not about that then why are we here? Why are we even getting married? Guests shouldn't derail from the focus of the event or the reason why we are all there, they should add to it. Add to the specialness, and add to the memories. But it shouldn't alter the whole point of why we have all joined together on that day.

*barf*

Without alcohol or a full meal people will most likely be leaving around 4 or 5. As long as your ok with that.

Yup! Ending at 4 or 5 is fine with me I don't like attention or really social things so I wouldn't mind things winding down early and maybe spending extra time with closer family afterwards.

Post away WW!

Isn't cider alcoholic? am confused, it is here anyway!!

There are hard ciders that are alcoholic but I mean non alcoholic hot apple cider or sparkling apple cider.

Yikes. I have no guests that are going to be "getting out of the wedding ASAP" due to alcohol choice. Not all adults NEED alcohol to have fun! We are having alcohol but not unlimited. Man oh man. Cider is Delish!

Don't ask for cider in Ireland or you will be given alcohol then!! have you tried shloer it's a really nice sparkling juice, it comes in loads of flavours. We had it at our wedding as an option for anyone who didn't want wine with their dinner. Alot of people here use it as a non alcoholic alternative at occasions.

In this context (by context - early afternoon wedding, no meal) I think it is perfectly fine to not serve alcohol. I see it the same as a cake and punch reception. OP - I'm sure you already recognize that the reception will be small and people will probably head out earlier than if booze was served. If you were having the reception around mealtime I would give more side eye but I really think you are fine. Try searching on Pinterest or google for different ideas.

I think you've been given some great suggestions.

Personally, I'm having an open bar because both my FH and I drink. Also, we want that party atmosphere. I have been to quite a few dry weddings. I didn't bring in a flask and I didn't tailgate in the parking lot. I respected the couple's choice. With that being said, you have to set your expectations. Chances are people will leave early, they will be reluctant to get on to the dance floor, or they may not choose to come at all.

Personally, I prefer a glass of wine with my dinner. But if one of my friends or family members chose not to offer it, I would still be a gracious guest: attend, attempt to enjoy, and give a gift.

But I'll probably be going to the Cheesecake Factory for drinks after.