Alternatives to alcohol?

@Punkin my day wedding certainly had alcohol. I chose to do so because all my family parties during the day include beer and wine. In the end I only ended up spending about 500 bucks because people didn't drink that much. It was a priority for me to provide alcohol but I personally think OP is fine with skipping if she chooses, especially since it's a day time event.

As someone who was once greatly overweight and had surgery to correct I find it offensive to have food served, especially food like cake, And Cider and Hot Chocolate, dear God the CARBS!

What about my addiction?

BTW, heavy sarcasm there.

Punkin, we had PLENTY at our day wedding. I had so much beer left over I didn't have to buy beer for 4 months. lol.

*ignores the "its YOUR DAY" white knights.*

@OKD It's not that I'm disagreeing with the time, but the logic behind it seems wishy washy. First there's "alcoholics," then it's personal trauma, and now it's her dad.

Is there a way to delete threads? The backlash I've gotten on my posts has taken away any ounce of excitement I had in me about my wedding and asking my MOH and everything. If there's no way to delete that's fine though.

Okay it was always about my dad and my personal trauma caused by him but I really didn't want to explain that in detail so I didn't mention it right away but people were being rude about it and I was hoping it might help with some clarification.

OP don't feel bad. At the end of the day we are all nobodies and it's just opinions. Stay true to yourself and enjoy your wedding

If it was up to me our wedding would have been dry. I really don't understand the idea of everyone thinking that you must have alcohol to have a good time. You can have fun without drinking.

And for another drink suggestion how about a coffee or cappuccino station ?

@Lauren I'm sorry that you feel that way about your experience. However, you have gotten a lot of supportive comments and actual ideas on this thread as well.

@Lauren You came here looking for advice and were not willing to take it unless it agreed with what you had already decided. You can't dictate or predict how things will go on the internet, that's just a fact of life. If you come here actually seeking advice to consider, not just reaffirmation of your decisions, you will find this forum is very helpful and full of some amazing women with excellent opinions.

@OP. I completely understand having a dry wedding. I am having one too, because my venue is a museum and they don't allow alcohol. I think despite all the keyboard warriors out there that tell you... it's rude, improper hosting and just down right mean... you have gotten some great ideas... some I may steal now.

As for the people who kept posting adults should have alcohol to gave fun... should not assume that is true for everyone. My family drinks, but they know I don't so they know if they come to my house for a party NO alcohol is here and that I appreciate it not being brought... we still have a fun day enjoying each others company. Now just because I don't drink doesn't mean if I go to their house they ban alcohol... it means I don't judge and go and enjoy the day. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion but forcing it down other people's throats is WRONG!!! Just because some have alcohol at a wedding... doesn't mean everyone hosting a wedding does... this inproper hosting comment because it is dry is BS.

Also @op... there is a way to hide the post. It should be an option at the bottom of your opening post... either edit or hide... Sorry so many people have attacked you as being rude and cheap. I hope your day is everything you and your FH have dreamt of.

@Materantiqua - I'm ignoring all of the explanations and only looking at the time. If she had come on and said is it ok to only serve cake, punch, apps and a few mocktails for a 1 or 3P wedding, I don't think anyone would have batted an eye. But, she provided details that wouldn't sit well as an excuse not to have booze at an evening affair. So, just looking at her plans only I think she is good regardless of her reasoning.

OriginalKD has a good point. The time and style of the reception makes a difference. I wouldn't care as much if it was a cake and punch reception in the middle of the afternoon. I can still have my glass of wine at dinner then. If it is a dinner reception, it's a different story.

I agree, the time and the style make no alcohol less of an issue, but I'm just saying that the post blew up because of the reasonings she stated.

OriginalKD, I just came to the same conclusion. If she had just come on and said that it was a between meal, dessert and soft drink wedding, I believe the entire course of the thread would have changed. When I read her original post, it began with alcohol. Then, she said she was having her wedding earlier in the day and hoped her reception didn't go "too far into the evening" because she wasn't planning a dinner reception. I immediately figured that this amount of time would cover a lot more than the average cake and punch wedding would. Of course I thought "early in the day to early evening" meant they would have to be serving some kind of lunch (and it's reasonable to believe other posters inferred the same thing). It wasn't until about page six that she said they were doing only light apps, cake, and probably more desserts (and then a few pages later added in caramel apples, a popcorn bar, and smores).

I'm not attacking you OP, this is just to help you understand how I, for one, really didn't immediately realize that you are essentially doing a cake and punch reception. Once I saw the post in which you wrote that you wanted to start at 1:00 PM or 2:00 PM and end at 4:00 or 5:00 PM, it became much clearer. BTW, whether you start at 1:00 or 2:00, I would suggest you end it by 4:00 PM, not 5:00. By 5:00, people will be getting hungry for a meal, and all of those desserts are a little heavy right before dinner time -- just my professional advice,

Also, alcohol was in the title of this thread and it was discussed initially in the original post. It is a huge expense and a huge issue at most weddings, and usually, brides do want to talk about it. Once the explanations started (i.e, the venue may or may not allow it, there are alcoholics in the family, or it triggers her), posters debated the validity of some of those reasons (as they're entitled to do).

There was a lot of information shared on this thread that wasn't necessary (if you are having a dry wedding, you don't have to explain why. Dry weddings are not considered improperly hosted events. Beyond that, I'm sure I've stated my opinion of them so many times you all know where I stand on them. However, they are technically properly hosted events. On the other hand, If people respond by saying your wedding will be boring without some wine or liquor, just ignore the post if it offends you. There are more than enough people who support dry weddings who will offer useful advice).

The fact that the OP believes that the backlash to her posts "has taken away any ounce of excitement I had in me about my wedding" is troubling, I don't believe anyone said anything so rude (and if they did, it's been flagged) that it should kill your joy. I'm sorry, but if you're going to get through wedding planning, you're going to have to get a little tougher than that. It gets ugly -- and that means with family, with money, with invitation lists, etc. You're a young bride-to-be -- still in college -- with almost a year and a half to go before her wedding day arrives. You've got an absolutely needless "MOH battle" brewing, but you have no venue. Relax and breathe. Think. It is going to take a little time to get this wedding stuff into proper perspective.

Mocktails. Lots of club soda w juice. Sparkling cider.

Actually Bryce I got that from:

"You absolutely should be thinking of your guests for the reception. If you're not, you *better not* have a ceremony."

If I took that wrong, then I apologize. But to me, that read "If you are not thinking of your guests, then you better not have a ceremony"- as in WEDDING ceremony.

Keri, I apologize to you as well if that is how my posts are coming across. Tbh, I think a lot of the posts on here don't come off well either. I think unless we are literally sitting across from someone and truly *trying* to hear what they are saying- listening to them explain, their tone of voice, hand gestures, body language, facial expressions... we may not "get" it. It just doesn't make sense and instead sounds like they are from Mars, while you are from Venus. Of course, while I may not make the same choices as some of you on here, I respect your choice to chose as you wish and don't think less of you for choosing differently than I. To clarify, or in hopes of doing so anyway....

Our invitation sets the mood for the event: "First Comes Love, then Comes Dessert". Above our dessert table a banner will read "Our Favorite Things". This is where we share all of our favorite desserts with those we love the most. So for each selection (i.e. cookies, cake, pie, candy, etc..) is a fave from him and a fave from myself. Of course, it goes without saying that if anyone attending had an allergy to something that I would have normally considered, an alternative would have been found. I would NEVER place my wants over the health of a guest!

We are not having a DJ, but a laptop or music player hooked up to the church's sound system. On this will be playing all the songs that have been apart of our story over the last 5 years. Mostly for background music, but of course if anyone wants to dance they are more then welcome. The reception will last about 2 hours.

We incorporated one of our favorite candy's/mints into our favors. Individually wrapped with a "thank you for sharing our special day" printed on front.

Our ceremony venue wasn't something we got to necessarily pick. Each temple covers a zone, and it's the one we're zoned for. Although, we could have go to any temple. However, any other temple would have been further away. For our reception venue, though, we chose our home and local ward meetinghouse. I have anxiety, and just the idea of going to a bigger building or one that was not my "home" ward sets it off :\ Besides, since almost everyone is from my home ward, it is also considered what is most convenient for them as well.

I hope this has cleared up any impression you have of me as being "gross".

Whether you have alcohol or you don't, it's still YOUR wedding and YOUR day. If people so desperately need alcohol to enjoy themselves, their meal, or to have a good time, that is not YOUR problem. YOU DO YOU GIRL. I live in the bible belt and I will not be having alcohol at my wedding. I myself have had issues with alcohol along with my dad and my future father in law. My wedding will also be pretty far out of the way to the point where most taxis and ubers will not drive out to. I don't want to risk anyone drinking and driving. Everyone who I have told about our dry wedding actually supports it and has no problem with it. We are doing a root beer float station for cocktail hour. The rootbeer will be in a keg as a play off "alcohol." Wink wink. If anyone gets that upset over not having alcohol then

1. They weren't really your friend in the first place or

2. They are probably an alcoholic themselves.

Now let's all share some love and positivity on here.

<3

Ahsley, holy shit. Do you just walk into a room and start talking, or do you ever take the social temperature of the room first?

JFC. I can't.