Alternatives to alcohol?

@LindseyO Solid advice

Thank you, Cathy, I appreciate your support in this thread and positive commentary Have a great night!!

Totally with you @GryffinBride!!

Is it only me or is anyone else completely over these posts about no alcohol !?

I don't know what happened to you that makes you hate alcohol but one of my (recent) friends quit drinking and won't serve alcohol at his wedding because someone close to him was killed by a drunk driver. I found this out when i tried to force him to drink at a bar and his girlfriend told me this. Made me feel like absolute shit. If we are talking about a similar experience then i understand why you don't want to serve alcohol. He is fine being around it but he won't do spend his money on it. Do your guests know it will be a dry wedding? Generally, i know who amongst my friends will be having a dry wedding for whatever reason. Either way, you still need to learn how to live around people who drink. You can't avoid it.

And she knows her guests, Katie, so maybe you should back off on her a little.

Lauren, I do agree with Lindsey, that based on some of the things you have said it does sound like you could benefit from a little counseling. It sounds like whatever you endured was hard for you, and you are still traumatized from it

But, I don't agree that not having alcohol is a punishment in any kind. That almost like calling some of the things on this thread bullying. One does not equal another. She IS properly hosting her guests if she is providing them food and drink. NO drink at all would be wrong... but alcohol is not a necessity, nor a right.

@Bacon, HUSH! Don't want people asking me to share!

I think your ideas for non alcoholic drinks at a fall wedding are perfect. Don't listen to the haters and people who think that since THEY are inviting recovering addicts to their wedding and serving alcohol, that you should too. That's silly.

People should never EXPECT you to have alcohol at your wedding. If they can't live without alcohol for a day than I guess that's their problem.

Edited: thank you Lindsey for pointing out that the first part of my post made no sense...

What Donna? She is inviting recovering alcoholics to her wedding...

You said you knew that these types of questions don't go well here but you asked anyway. I don't understand that behavior lol. Did you think that you would get different answers? If you have so many alcoholic family members, shouldn't you have AA resources that would answer this question with what you're looking for since your mind is made up?

Also....I would love a day where someone doesn't use the word "bully"

Thanks Lindsey and TheFutureMrsWade, I actually do attend counseling and for the most part I'm doing well! I can be around alcohol in social situations and handle it decently but it still is somewhat bothersome and I would rather not have it on my mind when I'm meant to be celebrating with family and friends

A lot of our guests are actually church friends so I don't think a dry wedding will be too shocking but it's a great idea to give a warning in advance. My side of the family won't be shocked either and my fiance plans on talking with his family so that they aren't surprised when there's no alcohol.

I'm also going to be sure we have plans in place in case people decide to bring in their own alcohol and go too far with it.

Our venue does not allow alcohol. We love the idea of having a dry wedding and we even told our guest it was dry and we still got 90% of the RSVP back saying they are coming.

Alcohol is not a must at all. We are doing sparkling cider for the toast. People don't need alcohol to have fun. They are at your wedding to celebrate you and your spouse.

I'll say it one time: the wedding is for the couple. The reception is for the guests. Two separate things that happen to be on the same day and therefore are approached differently.

What time is your reception? What type of food are you serving?

I think your decision to have no alcohol is very considerate and i would probablymake the same decision. When comparing having annoyed guests versus having people stressed and possibly triggered by alcohol, i think the latter is a bigger deal.

I'd love to have a dry wedding too but have decided to offer beer, wine, and cider as well as coffee and soft drinks because I am having an evening wedding on a Saturday. I totally get how alcohol can make you uncomfortable. If you choose a NA reception, I would hold it early in the day and maybe have a brunch with the suggestions for NA drinks that were suggested.

It is likely that people won't stay as long but that doesn't mean you can't have a wonderful celebration. Just know that you can not control how others behave. It is how YOU look at things that will determine how you will feel. You can choose to be calm about people having a few drinks or you can be on guard waiting for the the other shoe to drop. In all likelihood the shoe won't drop. You could just be expending anxious energy searching for things to go wrong. (Been there, done that.)

As someone else recommended, Alanon and counseling for yourself will help you personally deal with situations where there is alcohol present and how you react to people who drink. I wish you only the best.

If it's that big of a trigger to you, have a morning ceremony and a brunch reception and call it a day. You're asking people to give up time and money to be there, but won't host them properly because you're "uncomfortable."

I hate to tell you this, whatever happened, the alcohol didn't do it. Another human being did. Yet you're not avoiding being around them on your wedding day. Ffs, it's like blaming a gun for someone accidentally getting shot.

Came here for the comments and they did not disappoint...

I think a dry wedding is acceptable, as long as it's planned as such from the very beginning and includes an early start time, etc, which is sounds like yours does. How early were you thinking? If it's a brunch-type reception, then I love the idea of a coffee bar. I went to an event one time that had an espresso bar with a barista making drinks, which I thought was kind of cool. (The event also had an open bar, but the espresso bar was still pretty popular). For an event that's more in the afternoon, I think some sort of punch and cider would be the best! And I remember seeing a bride here awhile ago that was going to have toasts with Izzie sodas for her recovering alcoholic guests, which I thought was a cool idea!

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