Alcohol at wedding

Can you offer one beer, one wine, and one signature drink? Instead of the cash bar?

No, it's not okay. This comes up literally four times a day and it's never okay.

Host the bar. Beer and wine is just fine; making people pay for anything is just cheap and rude.

Personally, if I was offering alcohol at all (which I am not, simply because a part majority of my family are alcoholics and my FH and I don't want these kind issues on our special no TH to be together) I would say that beer and wine being free would be good enough, guests pay for signature drinks if they want one. It is a good way to make sure that nobody gets TOO drunk I suppose as well. But, coming from an alcoholic family, that is just something I think about.

Glad you cared more about the lack of alcohol than your cousins wedding. Makes me wonder why you were even invited in the first place....

Samantha is clearly living in a parallel universe. No, cash bars are not more common and everyone hates them.

And that's what they'll remember about your wedding.

Samantha is clearly living in a parallel universe. No, cash bars are not more common and everyone hates them.

And that's what they'll remember about your wedding.

Everything @Celia said. Also, by having a limited bar with trained bartender your prevent people from being overserved or bringing their own in flasks. I just don't understand dry weddings. I guess poor hosting is just not something I'm used to...

Samantha, you are wrong and your advice is terrible.

Honestly, how important is the alcohol in the first place? If they make that big a deal about it they were obviously only attending for the drinks in the first place. All the more reason for them to leave.

@Jess, I don't think having a dry wedding is considered "poor hosting"

@Natalie Yes it is. Alcohol isn't the only reason they are there but if a guest is poorly hosted they will get frustrated and leave. Why don't you make them pay for their own dinner at that point too? Dinner is often just as expensive as alcohol.

Think of it this way, OP: By the time your guests park their cars (or the valet attendant parks it for them), a guest should not open their wallet again. The spending is over. They've dressed, incurred travel costs, are potentially paying for lodging, and purchased a gift for you, and the only thing they need are a bunch of singles to tip the valet and bartender (if they feel so inclined, which I do). Purchasing a drink at a cash bar wedding? No, I wouldn't be hanging around long enough to do that. Why? Because the hosts have made it crystal clear that they realize alcohol will be an added attraction that will enhance their party, but they've decided to ask me to spend more of my money not only to attend their wedding, but to enhance it...and I'm not doing that. That is the single reason the cash bar is there -- because the couple realized their guests will be looking for adult beverages. They don't want their guests leaving after dinner (and they've all read those stories), and they don't want an empty dance floor (they've read those stories too). They want the great party without the price tag.

The stories of raging alcoholics who ruin weddings? Well, if these people are such social hurricanes, such drunkards, and in such in need of rehab, why would anyone invite them to their weddings in the first place (oh, and they'll have their flasks and bottles on their persons or under the passenger seat of their car -- because if you think a cash bar will keep an alcoholic from bringing in their own stash, you're dead wrong)? What it usually comes down to is money. M.O.N.E.Y. If there are true alcoholics on the guest list, the hosts' best bet is a hosted bar with a licensed bartender who will watch and cut off the bring-a-bottle drunk.

Beer is fine. I'd add wine to that drink menu and totally skip the cash bar. You'll be absolutely fine.

ETA: Natalie, you asked, "Honestly, how important is the alcohol in the first place? If they make that big a deal about it they were obviously only attending for the drinks in the first place." It's called the world of adults. When I attend my eight year old grandson's Minecraft birthday party later this month, I'm not going to assume that there will be alcohol hosted -- free or otherwise (even of the light beer/wine variety). But a wedding? You'd better look at some statistics. Adults, unless they are attending weddings in which the couple embrace cultural and religious restraints surrounding their lifestyles (and both of those categories don't generally include couples who offer the "cash bar" option), expect adult beverages at adult celebrations. It doesn't mean that they were obviously attending the wedding for free drinks in the first place (there are far less expensive ways to enjoy drinks than buying clothing, traveling, spending hours of their few days off at a social event, lodging, and gifting a couple a few hundred bucks. It's called Happy Hour -- or having a few friends over for dinner and drinks). Geez, it's not Prohibition anymore. Any adult who wants a drink can get one. This isn't an issue of salivating for a drink and finding one -- it's an issue of not hosting adults properly at an event at which they have every right -- especially if there's a bar serving guests (for cost) at the wedding -- to be expected to be hosted with what the couple are highlighting. What's next? Charging for a slice of wedding cake?

Malary, no. Any form of cash bar is rude. It's not OK to have your "guests" subsidize the cost of your event. It is OK to serve beer and wine, no cash bar.

I have an unpopular opinion....If only beer and wine are hosted, people should be able to purchase a cocktail if they want something different. I'd appreciate the couple providing a free option, but I'd be irritated I couldn't purchase what I really wanted.

@FutureMrs, exactly what I was trying to get across in one of my earlier comments. I agree whole-heartedly

@Natalie THANK YOU! That's what I've been trying to say this whole time haha. Alcohol isnt the main event the bride and groom are.

The **guests** are the main event at the reception. NOT the wedding couple. The ceremony is about the couple, the reception is for the guests.

Also Samantha, there are many other forms of couple on there other than just "bride and groom". Just FYI.

@Samantha L., EXACTLY! At least we are on the same page. And @Jacks, no actually the reception is about the wedding couple celebrating their new marriage with their family and friends.

NOPE, you are incorrect, Natalie. The reception is to thank the guests for attending the ceremony. As such, it's important to recognize and attend to their needs.