Advice.....

If I don’t feel comfortable she wouldn’t be invited! Everything depends on how you feel and that’s YOUR wedding, you want to be with people that you love and care for you too! If I didn’t my I would let her go but if I don’t feel ok I would be honest.

My old roommate/close friend is dating my ex. They are both invited to my wedding. My FH knows about our previous relationship but doesn’t care that he will be invited. Were all adults and I chose to marry my FH not my ex so FH has no reason to be upset or jealous that ex be invited. I would never dream of asking my friend to come celebrate my wedding while ignoring hers

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Exactly this! I can't imagine asking someone to celebrate my wedding while not respecting their relationship. That is why I hate the no ring no bring rule because it's judging the seriousness of another person's relationship. I know people who have been together for 6 years that are not engaged but are more serious than a couple that have been together for 2 years and engaged. Some people don't want to get married for whatever reason but that doesn't mean that their relationship is any less serious than someone who does.

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This really is issue I keep toying with!!! Of course I would assume we would be invited if they were getting married one day. BUT, FH is inviting this groomsmen's whole family so the numbers are getting a tad out of control for location..... plus the issue with the girl. Trying to figure out best method to handle the plus ones AND the situation. Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with this situation!!!

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A person in the wedding party should get a plus one. They get to decide if they'll actually use it, and you don't get to dictate who that plus one is - the exception I would make is if that person did something to you or was violent/abusive. But, they've already been dating six months and if they're still dating by the time of your wedding, they're in an actual relationship - engaged or not - and you should just invite her. Assuming the best man and your FH are good friends, they should be able to determine whether it would be appropriate for the woman BM is dating to attend.

Honestly, this sort of thing wouldn't bother me. But at the same time, my husband and I were together for 10 years when we got married so our exes are deeper in the past. And the ones we still have contact with have been our friends for a long time.

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Her making a scene after they broke up would make me worried to have her attend the wedding, what if she causes a scene or is that person who objects? For awhile, with my mother and I’s strained relationship, I wasn’t going to invite her, in fear of her causing a big scene.. just something to consider as well.

If you’ve made your decision, I think that’s cool. I don’t think you’ll get reassurance from everyone on the forum about inviting her or not. But it’s fine because it’s your wedding, not anyone else’s wedding!

I’m not sure why so many people have been saying “oh but if you don’t invite her, if they get married they won’t invite you.” The best man and his gf aren’t engaged so why is this even being discussed? OP is asking about the actual wedding that’s happening soon, not the possible one that may happen in a few years.

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Thank you!!! Should I add that line to my RSVP card for the number of seats?? This might be good for everyone as I am crunching numbers as I type lol!!!!!

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I think it's a good way to handle RSVPs. That way, there's no question if Plus 1s are invited, or if the kids can bring a friend, or the 16 year old can bring her boyfriend, etc. Everyone knows just how many people are invited and how many seats they get. Also, if someone does happen to add more on the RSVP, you can address the misunderstanding by pointing out the number on their card.

View Quoted Comment Sounds like either way you're going to have to talk with your FH. Ask him how he feels about it and if you're in agreement, ask him to let his best man know his SO is not invited. The only problem I'm seeing with this is..did you already tell him you would give him a +1?

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Oh no, I did not do save the dates and I am drafting final list to send out invites next month- hence why I am trying to decide. The engagement party invitation was to the friends family (as he still lives at home).

My opinion is do what feels right for you guys.. do what's best for you, not anyone else! It's your big day and you should be allowed to invite, or not invite, whoever you want. My mindset going into my wedding was if the person we're inviting isn't dating anyone seriously, they're not invited. A few months isn't very long and if they weren't together when you drafted the guest list, I say you don't have to invite her. Just make sure your fiance is ok with that. Plus, if i were that girl, i wouldn't want to go to your wedding because I'd feel awkward!

I dont think it's petty at all not wanting her there.. I wouldn't want anyone my FH was sexual with either .... 2 things---- invite her and show her he is YOURS and enjoy your day she dont matter anymore anyways! or Dont invite her and dont feel bad least your not gonna have her in the back of your head all night.

If its already an issue , exclude her. Its your day. And FH should not have an issue with it and best man should understand its not his wedding its yours.