Advice.....

Defiantly remove his plus one. That will make an uncomfortable situation.

Wow! I can't imagine excluding the your FI's best friend/best man's SO from the wedding, for any reason short of she had anger management issues that might cause her to punch someone. This is FI's best friend's SO. Is he supposed to end the friendship after the wedding so you won't be exposed to someone your FI once dated in the distant past, for whom he has no current feelings?

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I agree, don't have anyone at your wedding that makes you uncomfortable! It is your day, so do what will make you happy that day!

If the groom and best man got over it, can’t you?

You have every right to be uncomfortable and not want her there. That is awkward for sure.
Have the four of you ever hung out? I would think if this girl wants to come to the wedding she should be putting some effort in to meet you and make you feel comfortable.
If their relationship works out the four of you will definitely have to find a way to all be friends. But 6 months in, at your wedding, when only 2 years ago they slept together??!! Man that is a hard call

While I see how this would be weird, how will you feel if the best man gets married and asks your husband to be his best man? Will you not allow him to be in his best friend's wedding at that point? Time to let bygones be bygones and be mature.

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Thank you!!!! It is strange because they are childhood friends not super close anymore as they have kind of gone different ways since FH did the whole college/masters degree thing and friend/best man did trade school/plant work!!! We have never hung out the 4 of us so I am not seeing issue of not adding a plus one. Also, the relationship with girl and best man was more serious after initial guest list was drafted. I honestly would rather save her plus one for adding another biological family member I have come in contact with. But another issue is I remember her just showing up to the engagement party- not listed on invitation. *sigh*

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I agree with this completely. No way do I want any exes at my wedding.

Good lord, she's dating your FI's Best Man - yes she should be invited. Who cares if she dated or hooked up with your FI in the past - clearly it didn't work out because he's marrying you. Not wanting her there makes you look insecure and petty in my opinion.

View Quoted Comment Well she better have more common sense than to think she can just show up uninvited to your wedding! 🤦🏼‍♀️ My fiancé’s best man (and all the groomsman) we see on a weekly basis. 3 groomsman are married to 3 of my bridesmaids. As a group, we are constantly together.
It doesn’t sound like you are going to have her in your life really at all, as the best man really isn’t that close to your fiance anymore. Which makes it a completely different situation, and even easier to give her a big NO.

It’s super easy for all these other women to say “who cares!?!” when they are not in the same situation.
She’s entitled to feel however she wants. And if she feels uncomfortable than that’s all that really needs to be said.

This other girl and the best man are not trying to make this a better situation, sounds like they’ve done nothing to get to know the bride. If this new girl and the groom were that important to the best man he would have set up dbl dates, talked to the groom, done SOMETHING to make this a comfortable situation for everyone. Doesn’t sound odd to anyone the this “serious” gf of 6 months hasn’t been properly introduced to the best friends future wife?? If he wants her to be his date he should’ve made an effort. This is not on the bride at all.

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Thank you!!! I am just to validate the decision I have made not to invite her. Plus with it being an indoor winter wedding space is limited, I would rather invite someone in my new found bio family. FH said "It was a drunken mistake that I dragged on but its up to you"- and he would rather another individual be invited that has taken time to know us, etc.

View Quoted Comment Chill Lady. You’ve got an awful lot of snarky comments.

View Quoted Comment The issue with what you’re saying is that even though people can do what they want and what makes them feel comfortable for their wedding, there are still consequences to that sometimes and it’s not only her wedding. If her FH is fine with the decision and they both acknowledge and accept that best man may not come/may end the friendship, then fine, but we’ve seen plenty of posts on here before where someone has done something similar and then is shocked that the wedding party member is mad/not attending/not friends anymore because their SO was excluded.

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Yes, I don't think that would happen BUT always a chance we must be aware of. I just think with the wedding being on the smaller/intimate side it would make me uncomfortable. Not that I am insecure with myself or my future marriage but just with the intimacy of the ceremony/reception and quarters being so close at the venue. None of the other groomsmen have girlfriends, and the ones who have wives are in my wedding.... so I think we can just blanket no plus ones for groomsmen unless married.

Don't invite her, its your day if that would bother you absolutely don't have her there. as for the best man if he really is the grooms best friend he wont care and he will be there to celebrate you and the groom! also you could always have to groom speak to his friend about this and see how they feel.

I was raised with if my name was not listed on the invitation I was not invited. They do not even live together.

No way, they are 22 years old I would not consider the few weeks they were dating to be validation to come to an engagement party at a family members home. I was not invited to my FH's cousins wedding because we were not engaged and the rule was the rule. Regardless how serious we knew we were.

I don't know why people are saying that if this girl isn't invited, it'll ruin the best man and grooms friendship. If that's the case, either they don't have a great friendship or the best man needs to grow up

This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Your going to get so many opinions on this and here is mine...if someone (especially a stranger to you) makes you feel uncomfortable then they dont belong at your wedding.