Advice.....

This might be an unpopular opinion but i don’t care. I wouldn’t allow her at my wedding. That would make me so so uncomfortable. And the best man should understand that as well if he’s aware of their previous relationship. We knew we didn’t want any exes or anyone of previous relation at our wedding and that’s a choice we made together. i would also talk to you FH. Do you know his stance on it?

Your FH is marrying you right? Then what does it matter if this girl is there. She is with someone else. If I was groomsman I'd probably wouldn't attend if my gf wasn't invited. It's petty and immature IMO.

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That is how I see it, plus I am having a very Southern affair as we live in the deep south and I just don't think its proper personally. We reviewed the guest list this weekend and she was not listed and FH did not make any comments. I will have to ask him directly though!!!

I feel like it would be more awkward for the groom and best man. As long as they're fine with it, I don't see a problem with it unless you are concerned that FH still has feelings for her. If you know he doesn't then I wouldn't cause drama over it, especially if you haven't had any real interaction with her.

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I can agree on your point to a certain extent. When guest lists were drafted they were not even together - now they are and the numbers are already tight due to my dad being adopted and me finding my bio family. Trying to find some validation plus just feels awkward.

If you are not comfortable inviting her then you shouldn't. This your wedding and if this doesn't feel right to you, then don't invite her. If the groomsmen were to ask why, I think your FH should handle it and explain it.

See I get where people are coming from with "He's marrying you, isn't he?", but that doesn't change it for me. We aren't having anyone from our romantic pasts at our wedding. Not because anyone is concerned with "still having feelings" for anyone, but because it's inappropriate. Granted we don't have any friendships/ties with anyone of the sort, so this is a little different.

Either way, I wouldn't be okay with it and it would make me and FH uncomfortable. I think if your FH's best man really is his best friend, he would understand that. It's nothing against this girl personally, but me nor my FH would want our old hookup attending such a personal and intimate event of our lives.

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Agree 100%

Are your prepared for the best man to back out and for it to completely alter your FH and his friendship if his girlfriend isn’t invited to the wedding? If you’re fine with that, do whatever you want. Just be prepared for a lot of backlash.

IMO I feel like it is such a small world and things like this happen. If this is your fh best man then they are obviously really close. Are you guys never going to hang out with them? What if it lasts between this girl and his best man. Is fh never going to be able to hang out with his best friend if she’s around? Sounds to me like he had a physical thing with this girl and nothing else. Now I could possibly understand if they had been in a long term relationship or something before but sometimes things that are physical are just that and fade away when they’re done. I’d let her come and wouldn’t give it a second thought, but that’s just me.

How does your FH feel about it? If he’s also uncomfortable you should have him nicely talk to his best man about it. That’s his best friend right? And he’s dating your FH’s ex? Given that, they should be able to have an open and honest conversation about it that hopefully won’t end in any hard feelings.

I wouldn’t just not invite her or not give him a plus one. But talk to him if you’re uncomfortable.

It’s different for everyone. We’re inviting one of my ex boyfriends who is married and I’m still good friends with. We’re contemplating inviting his ex wife who he has two kids with. I’m comfortable with it. But every situation is different.

If you guys looked over the list and he didn’t mention it then, then it sounds like he doesn’t feel too strongly about it. And 6 months isn’t a very long time to be dating. Might not warrant a plus one based on that.

Absolutely no invite. It was just 2 years ago.

No point for a bride or groom to be uncomfortable on their wedding day! Not that they were on our list, we said no to inviting past lovers out of respect for each other (and ourselves).

Uhmmmm heck to the no she's not attending my wedding. If best man doesn't like it, he can skip the wedding as well. Sorry, not sorry lol.

I think you should do what feels most right in you, and your FH’s heart. Despite it potentially making the best man upset. I also would definitely have a discussion regarding this matter with FH, and make sure both of your feelings are heard! I hope it works out well for you both. Good luck! 🤗

One rule that I’ve heard some brides use is if a couple hasn’t been dating for more than a year then the plus one doesn’t come. If they were married or have been together 1 year+ then I would say invite. That’s just my opinion though. Good luck!

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Same. Wouldn't bother me. You are going to be seeing this woman lots if she's dating your fiancee's best friend. What if they get married in 5 years and the purposely exclude your husband because of the history? That would be weird. Honestly, I think it's a good opportunity to extend an olive branch and show that you aren't bothered by it. She's probably going to be part of your life.

Can your FH ask this guy if it’s a big deal for him to come to the wedding without her?

I personally wouldn’t care at all. My ex husband and FH’s ex wife(both married 20+ years) are both invited to ours and I genuinely hope both can make it and want to attend.

I dated one of my FH's best friends before him (it was early on in high school). We've all remained friends and FH was in his wedding and I went to his wife's bachelorette party. We take group vacations together and have remained close. My ex will be in our wedding. This wasn't really weird because we went to such a small school growing up. Personally, I wouldn't be bothered by it. I know it's cliche but he's marrying you! Like PP have said, they might end up together. Are you never going to see/hang out with them both? I think it's unrealistic to think that. This would be a nice way of showing that it's water under the bridge and you are above any awkwardness. Plus, it's safe to say you'll be the most gorgeous girl in the room! Let her see that