About to cancel over reception food. One unexpected expense after another...

I've read all the comments. You didn't like what she said so you insulted her.

I just keep coming back...you said in your OP that "I know more than half of you are going to rip me a new one with how tacky it is" so why are you all surprised now that people are pointing out what you already know? And still I can't tell if you are actually asking for advice on how to put on this disaster, or what?

Rather than "marking people off" don't include them in the first place. The people that DON"T make your list will be more understanding, if they don't make it onto a list of 30-50, which they can see really is just your closest, than that they didn't make the cut for a list of 200. The best reason to give people who are disappointed in not receiving an invite is "we are keeping it small." You can't say that when you invite 200. Rather than cutting people, start from scratch. Decide how many you can afford to host and build from there. Include your parents and siblings. At your limit? Then stop there. Still have room? Add your very best friends. Not every person who helped to rebuild the whole community.

We are trying to help you...advice here may come off as blunt, but nobody intends to be rude. This is an etiquette forum, so people here will give you advice to follow proper etiquette.

What we are saying is that you leave everyone out of it, take your guy and have a romantic private wedding at a courthouse. The end result is that you are married to your soulmate. That would be the end result if you had a private ceremony OR a 100,00.00 dollar affair. Why do you think people will be shattered if they aren't invited to your wedding? This is what I don't get.

We could have easily had a guest list of 250 or more guests, but we simply could not afford it. My SO and and I both have very wide circles. We would have loved to have a big, crazy Irish/ Italian wedding, but that is not in the cards for us. We were ruthless with cuts and we were able to come up with a more manageable guest list of 135. (if you ask me, that is still a large number)

Get married, live your life, and if you are still inclined, have a big bash for a future anniversary- 1, 5 years etc if you are in a better financial position.

Dramatic much?

I could match you tragedy to tragedy with stories of what my cousin has been through. The latest was a cancer diagnosis with chemo finished last year. She nearly died a few years ago from an infection. Her father was shot and killed by a robber. Throughout all of these events, she was supported by her extended family that numbers over a hundred and friends, plus those in her church community.

She's getting married this summer. She's planning on a budget, because guess what, cancer is expensive even with insurance. She can't afford to have all the relatives and friends she'd like. Are family members upset about not being invited? In a word, no. We are adults and understand that she and her FH can't afford to host hundreds. We are adults and understand that a wedding is a very special event and not a free for all.

LMAO that you are so generous that you would give the shirt off your back but you aren't willing to FEED your wedding guests. Whenever you're ready to get off your high horse, please let us know. I ask again- What was the purpose of this post?

Op, like who hasn't experienced crap? Seriously, you are making it sound that you are the only one that has gone through some things.

In the last 5 years I have also been through a terrible natural disaster (super storm Sandy- lost my home and my cars because of that), gotten divorced and lost my home again because I couldn't afford to pay for it on my own, had to move in with a relative to avoid bankruptcy, watched a friend die, had a health scare with FH (he's OK , Thank goodness) and changed jobs 3 times. Like this is life, you know? It doesn't make me less or more deserving of a party.

How did you scratch off those 800? They didn't help pick up pieces of your community? or they didn't kneel at your bed side?

This feels a little dramatic. I'm a social worker. I've listened to people while they cry and discuss their childhood abuse for the firs time. I've helped people talk to their children for the first time in 10 years. I've been a part of a lot of dramatic and life-altering moments in a lot of people's lives, but would I want or expect to be invited to their wedding? Absolutely not. In fact, if I was invited, I would politely decline. Because I'm a professional doing my job.

You don't need to invite everyone who helped you through a tragic time to your wedding.