A Red Dress? Really?

My mom wants a navy dress. My colours are lavender, turquoise (or a nice shade of blue) and white. I told her she could wear any colour she wants. Doesn't bother me at all. I think you should let her wear what she wants

Edit: I didn't see the picture...that's very low cut, but if that's what she wants I wouldn't say anything. I'm lucky, my mom would never wear anything that revealing.

Jorocka, did you miss the thread the other day? Boobs are inappropriate and if you have them you should not ever let them be seen. Especially if youre.an MOH. A mom having boobs is certain doom.

As far as color, I actually prefer it when the moms wear something that isn't the same exact color as the BMs. My favorite is when they choose to wear colors that are in or complementary to the color scheme. Red fits with your color scheme, so there is no issue here.

It seems like your real issue is with the neckline of the dress. I agree with you that it seems inappropriate for her step daughter's classy wedding. However, she gets to pick her dress and if she picked this one, that's that. Did she ask you for your opinion or did she send you the picture after she bought it because she was excited? You mentioned she got it for a steal. That sounds like she already bought it and wasn't really asking your permission to wear this dress. I think your only hope now is for her to try it on when it comes in, hope your dad sees her trying it on, and hope he has the good sense and guts to tell her it's not right for the wedding.

I agree you can't tell her what color to wear...but this is super inappropriate! I would stand my ground!

The color is fine, dress is NOT. If my stepmom came to my wedding wearing that I'd faint.

She asked my opinion but said she purchased it for a steal! So I am assuming that her mind was made up. My only real hope I guess is that she tries it on, and has a moment of what the hell am I wearing. Or I hope she surprises me and shows up in something more revealing, regardless of the color!

My FMIL pointed out that she and my mom should NOT be in the same color as the bridal party. Makes sense. They are free to choose their own dresses. In whatever color they want. They know my BP will be in long dresses, so that is the style/length they are looking for. Beyond that, I don't care what they wear.

I'm confused why people want everyone to match? Unless she's in the bridal party (which obviously she's not) then let it go. I've read so many posts about girls getting upset about this and I'm very confused by it.

ETA: Let the color slide. I just saw the pic of the dress...wow! I wouldn't even wear that low of a neckline out clubbing let alone to a wedding. Definitely try to see if she'll go shopping with you and try to persuade her to get a less revealing dress!

The color is fine... the dress is not. The boobage is a little much. I mean I feel like I would be worried about some unplanned indecency and I would like to think my girls have a little less swing than an older lady. I have no idea how to handle that situation... good luck

@Destiny- is this something you could confidentially talk to your dad about, and perhaps he can steer your stepmom to a more appropriately cut dress for a wedding?

The color is fine, but that neckline is terrible

As she is a parental role you could ask her to wear a color more closer to the wedding colors or calmer...it IS YOUR DAY and your pictures to which you do not want all the photos to be emphasizing her as she will be sticking out like a "red" thumb....I would definitely say something like they have specific mothers dresses at the Bridal Shops....maybe go shopping with her - make it a positive thing

Her chosen dress is absolutely inappropriate.

Please remember this day is about you and your fh. It is not to be a stressful day about clashing attire or anything else...I feel like it is rude of her to want to wear such a dress on top of that wearing such a loud color to draw the attention to herself...

Ooh red, my favorite!

Yeah, no, she gets to wear anything that covers her hiney.

Stop micromanaging your family. You're only going to stress yourself out. Let her wear whatever color she chooses.

ETA: I did not know there was a picture. Not only is the neckline inappropriate for a 59 year old woman, the material is extremely unforgiving. You have to -0 body fat to get away with that. Definitely speak with her. Let her know red is okay, but exposed breasts are not.

Who cares? You're the bride, no one is going to be paying more attention to her than to you.

The cut of her dress is inappropriate, IMO, but I really wouldn't let it bother you. It just . . . doesn't matter. She's going to look out of place and people will talk, but that's on her. You'll have a few pics with her in it, and it'll be annoying to see that dress in them, but in the grand scheme of things, really not something to get upset over.

I'm in camp "color doesn't matter, but damn that neckline". I fail to see how anyone would see that dress and think "what a perfect dress to wear to a wedding!". This is a pretty delicate situation that you're in, and it'll be hard to say anything without possibly offending her. She should be able to wear any color she wants, but I also think she should wear something a little less revealing. Perhaps your offer to go shopping with her will yield some positive results.

Personally, the last 3 weddings I heard about that family members of mine attended in all three cases the couple requested guests wear a certain color. And the last two parties I attended, the host requested that guests wear a certain color. Usually it's black and white, but it's something I'm hearing about more and more. Ultimately you can't force her to wear a certain color, all you can do is state your concerns for the pictures. I have a feeling that she wants to stand out. Sounds like worst case scenario you may need to just prepare for the idea that your stepmother will be wearing red in the pictures. But in my opinion as the bride you also have the right to decide who will be in which pictures. This is a family member were talking about, so unless she has that much of a problem finding something in the colors that you are requesting, I think she's the one being obnoxious. It used to be traditional for all the mothers to wear certain colors that the bride requested. The mothers of all my cousins Weddings did so. With the exception of one mother of the groom who wore a white beaded evening gown but that's a story all in itself.

What's funny is that for my sister's wedding we told our mom what the wedding colors are specifically so that she won't wear them.

We don't want her to be dressed in the same color as the bridesmaids. We want her to have her own unique look as the Mother of the Bride.

Generally speaking, I think most people don't want close relations who will be in numerous pictures to wear a color similar to the bridesmaids because then it either clashes or it looks like they want to appear as though they are a bridesmaid when they are not.