A Prenup? Yes or No?

We aren't.

We don't have enough assets to make a prenup necessary, but if we did, I would sign one.

We are NOT getting a prenup. For me getting a prenup is saying just in case it doesn't workout.

I do not believe in divorce. I KNOW that I am marrying the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and I also know that it is part of God's will for us to become one. Neither FH or myself feel like it's smthn that that we should even consider.

I will def be interested in seeing ppl reasoning for getting a prenup (if anyone on WW is getting one or for the ladies who are already married, signed one).

@ A&J Are you guys getting one?

We dont own enough for it to matter right now. we plan on building a life a life and a business, and if we divorce, I feel I derserve half of what I built.

Well, we are thinking about it. I hate the word prenup, because I also do not believe in divorce and DO NOT want to think about divorce especially even before I am even married. But, since we researched and read a lot about it, we kinda feel like it's not only in case of divorce ( again, hate saying it) but also a prenup and the discussions that go with it can help ensure the financial well-being of the marriage.

We have a prenup. This is mostly because I'm now an only child (my brother passed away 5 years ago) and my parents are worth quite a bit of money. They just wanted to make sure that their assets are protected in any scenario. My DH had no problem signing it. As he said "I didn't make that money and thus I shouldn't be entitled to it just because we are getting married."

I really dislike people who say prenups are planning for divorce. It is not. It's just protecting your self and your future spouse in which ever scenario should play out in the future. Lots of people are getting married later in life now and already have established careers, homes, businesses, retirement savings, etc. It's just protection, same thing with insurance.

Also, even if you don't get a prenup everyone should at least get a will and spell out end of life decisions. This is even more important if you have children or other assets that you or your future spouse are bringing into the marriage.

I am not getting a prenup. We trust each other completely and plus we are about the same in terms of fiances. I think a prenup can be a smart decision in some cases. It really depends on the situation.

When my sister's fiance at the time asked her for a prenup, I told her NOT to do it. His reasoning was that he is always going to make more than her and wanted to protect himself. I understand his reasoning but I was thinking on behalf of my sister. I was thinking if he ever decide to change and be a complete jerk like cheat on her. I would want to make sure he doesn't use a prenup to get off the hook. But bless him, he is not that type.

I probably should, but I',m not going to. I own our house and I make a LOT more money than FH. That being said, at 49, I am absolutely positive he's the right one. Forever isn't that long for us anymore.

We didn't, but I did consider it, though it seems depressing to think about. I have had a very good paying job for the past five years and live in a low-cost area, so I have a pretty significant chunk of change in my savings account. We were engaged before we ever discussed how much money either of us has. As much as I hate to think about divorce, the practical, business-like side of me was slightly concerned about my nest egg. But honestly, the type of guy I married, I know that even IF the worst happened, he wouldn't screw me out of anything.

Tiffany M.. you are completely right!

@ A&J You bought up a good point regarding the discussion ensuring the financial well-being of the marriage. That is def important! No one wants to be in a marriage struggling to get by, although I would imagine it would help having someone in your corner during that time.

@ Tiffany M. Hmmm... I would understand why your family would feel that way and it's good that DH was understanding as well... Yes, I def agree regarding getting a will and spelling out everything. Informed FH that's smthn we need to do shortly after we get married. We both have life insurance, so any kids we have would receive the payout of that money. It will also come in handy when one of us die, so the other can be covered financially.

We are. It's not depressing, just practical. We aren't thinking "oh what if we get divorced?" It's more "it's out there, it isn't hurting us, who knows what may come." My FMIL and her fiancé are getting one because his ex wife is psycho. Besides everyone in my family gets them even my brother who decided to get married in five days. It's not that we are loaded, just practical.

We have one because I own everything and I have two daughters so I can't risk anything you can only hope for the best but sometimes people change so I hope I never have to use it

Not getting one, but not because I don't think they can be a good idea. We just don't have enough individually to warrant one. If we did, it would just say "this dog to this person" and that's about it!

However, for people who DO have a lot of assets, trust funds, etc, it can be helpful. A prenup is not planning for divorce, it's planning for the worst. Would you NOT create a will because it's talking about the potential of dying and that's morbid and planning for something you don't want to happen? Absolutely not. You're taking care of yourself AND your spouse by at least having these conversations ... and for some people they actually sign something. End of story.

If you guys are considering it and think it's a good idea then absolutely do it!

We considered doing it, but neither of us has enough assets that it would be worth it for us to have one done up. Even something like LegalZoom would have been $1000. We'll have way more that was accumulated during our marriage if it ever becomes an issue, plus we're putting each other through school, so I kind of feel like if we ever did divorce, it would be a 50-50 split anyway.

ETA: I think they're a good idea and a way of protecting yourself, and would have done one if it made financial sense, it just didn't for us. My parents used to say that they would insist on my brother and I having them when we married because the divorce rate is so high, but it never came up. Guess they like DH!

I've heard cases where I think a prenuptial agreement makes sense; one spouse is an equal partner in a business with someone else, there are kids involved from previous marriages... Etc.

But for the most part, I disagree with outlining your divorce before you even get married. No thank you.

If the prenups were written by the soon-to-be-spouses, they would probably be totally fine and fair. But they are not--they are written by lawyers, and most of the time they are written by a single lawyer that was hired by *one* of the spouses (or one of the spouse's family). A lawyer's prerogative is to *protect their client*--which means that even if your future spouse is the most fair, loving, kind, generous person, the prenup will probably not reflect any of that. On top of that, in most cases, the prenup will invalidate inheritance laws and in some cases wills. So, you could happily married for 30, 40, 50 years, whatever, with no problems at all, but still end up with nothing if your spouse should die before you.

Anyone who is considering a prenup should really make sure that both parties have legal representation.

We didn't, but I think they're smart in this day and age.

I am all for prenups.

It is a smart decision and doesn't dictate a divorce in the future. It is protective especially for those who have considerable incomes.

My FH and I are your average Joes, so no prenup necessary, but if I had considerable assets, I would definitely get one. What we build TOGETHER is ours and deserves to be spilt 50/50.

If not, Tiffany M's FH put it more delicately than I could :

"I didn't make that money and thus I shouldn't be entitled to it just because we are getting married."

I think they're a good idea when either person (or both) have $$ and assets to protect. If you never get divorced, it won't matter anyway. But with the high divorce rate, I think they're a smart move. Fortunately (or unfortunately :-), we don't have enough assets to warrant one. We are making each other the primary beneficiary of our life insurance policies though.