1970s Etiquette book...

My Grandma is very disappointed in me that I'm not wearing a veil. Surprisingly she's ok with us not getting married in a church and not having a religious ceremony though.

My mom told me the registry cards go in the invite envelope. She said "that's how it's done"

My mom gave us the Emily Post Book of Etiquette from 1927 as a housewarming present, haha. I asked her when I was getting "a household's worth of fine linens" as a dowry...

My mother is appalled we're not having ushers to seat guests. Ummm... you walk in to our venue, and there are seats directly in front of you, facing a lit up ceremony spot. I'm pretty sure people know to sit down in a chair.

@emily this is exactly what this book is! 50th anniversary addition. Some of these items gave me a chuckle.

One thing for me and my FH is getting married in a church & we're both fine with that. We're still early in the planning process so I'm interested to see what else comes up...

My FMIL really wants me to ask her sister about doing flowers. She brings it up every time we're together "Have you thought about what flowers you want yet? Don't forget my sister does flowers"

Shes also miffed as to why we havent sent out the save the dates yet.

The only thing my MIL requested was that we send out paper invitations. I told her not to worry, this would not be an Evite wedding.

My mom keeps thinking it's rude to not invite every person she's ever known. Thank God my dad and I are on the same page and are reigning her in together!

Nothing. My fmil passed away when FH was 15 yo sadly.. but I'm sure she would have been a lot of fun yo get ideas from. I found her wedding pics to my FFIL in the 70s. The clothing alone was funny lol

My fmil insists that we have ushers and programs. Both are unnecessary to me. People know where to sit, and the program is just a waste imo.

My mom INSISTS we serve coffee at the wedding. -___- She even offered to pay for it.

@Julie- my mom was HORRIFIED that we weren't hiring a calligrapher for our invitations- I'm taking a calligraphy class (free at the school I work at) and doing them myself, which she's upset about. She was also insisting on "the bride's family pays for the wedding" until my mother-in-law intervened and was like, "weddings are obscenely expensive, we're splitting".

My FMIL thinks that she has to invite everyone she's ever gone to church with. Our guest list cap was 130. She sent me 87 names. That was a fun phone call for FH to make, cause I wasn't touching that situation with a 39 1/2 foot pole.

@princesspotato yes! Sickly expensive. I'm actually very thankful that my FH parents want to be so involved and help with costs. Between us and our parents, it has become bearable. & too funny about the calligraphy. The only thing my mom requests is that she sees the invites before they go out. Fair enough...

@heaven lmao. We as well shut that down real quick. We both come from HUGE families and an adult only wedding has already reached 200. It makes my head hurt.

My mom is beside herself that we aren't having a religious ceremony. I was actually expecting flak from FHs family, who are hard core Southern Baptist (his brother is a minister), but they haven't said a word. My mom, however (who is very Catholic), when I told her we were hiring a JP, did the big dramatic sigh, then said "well, I know how you were raised. But it's your wedding, I guess..." Insert pained look and standard Catholic mother guilt.

My mother got married in the 70s and she didn't wear a white dress in her 20s (or off white). My father did wear a lovely brown suit that was de riguer for the period.

The only thing my mother has said was "open bar". Cash bars are crass in our circles.

My mom thankfully said whatever I wanted. We didn't really take any flak from DH's family either. The only person pushing back on stuff was my aunt. She was insisting on picking my dress for me (she was not invited to go dress shopping) and she was upset that I had a nontraditional engagement ring. She told me it wasn't expensive enough for her taste. She also got upset that I didn't ask my younger (as in freshman in college) cousin to be a BM. I calmly explained that I had to make difficult cuts to my BP and it would be a slap in the face to the three close friends I decided not to ask. Finally she said that she would try not to "boss" everyone around when it came to my wedding but she really wanted me to run decisions by her for input. It was annoying.

My mother was a bit appalled that out of towners weren't going to be invited to the rehearsal dinner....which would bring the number to well over 100 since it's OOT for over 50% of the wedding. She also is a bit side-eye-y at my lack of RSVP by mail but instead by phone/email.

My parents graciously offered to pay for our venue (which includes food), but absolutely refuse to pay for alcohol because "why should we have to pay for people to get drunk?!"

Yikes. Needless to say we'll pick up that portion of the tab.

ETA- grammar

Bless my mom's heart....she asked me who my attendants were going to be to "help" me with "day of" activities. I told her people don't have attendants, they hire a DOC and she didn't say anything else but I could tell she didn't get it. She and my dad have been married 57 years.

My mom has been super cool, but did seem shocked & disappointed that we're having a bigger wedding and including more than just immediate family & a handful of friends. I'm from a family of elopers, haha.