1970s Etiquette book...

Mom and Dad were slightly upset that we aren't getting married in a church. FH is in no way religious, I grew up roman catholic and slightly practice but not enough to want to get married in a church.

FMIL is in the boat where she thinks absolutely everyone who has ever met FH needs to come.. Hell no. no no no.

@Ms G, your grandmother is literally my grandmother with an iPhone, right down to the "I started all this" catchphrase. The thought of that woman with a smart phone sent an actual shiver down my spine.

STDs are sent and list is made. My Father, who I barely speak to, keeps texting me to tell me that he's sending me $100 for each new person he needs to invite. The first phone call I had to make to him about it was hard. Now it's almost a joke to FH and myself. I'm not even sure where the $100 came from...

Edit...grammar

FH grandmother and FH mom sat down with me to write out a guest list and I had 30 people tops on my side and they just kept adding people so FH side of family had like 70. We're paying ourselves and they insist that everyone and their brother needs to be invited. FH and I later sat down and went over it turns out most of the people is mom and grandma said he either didn't know or hasn't seen since he was a baby. We rewrote a more budget-friendly wedding and are just not telling them.

On a different note my mom is a drama queen and said I never involve her with anything so I made it a point to discuss my plans with her and then she threw a fit because a male family member isn't walking me down the aisle!

My grandma was appalled that I wasn't seating the wedding party at the head table, and thought that what I was doing, (having us two, our BM, MOH and their significant others) was "stupid"

Same as @futuremrsb -- my mom and FMIL are almost to the point of being pissed I don't have jobs for them to do. We keep saying we want them to enjoy the day, not stressed out about a task they're supposed to be doing and they just get so exasperated like, "ok well we WANT to help you, whatever you say." Both had very small weddings and I'm not sure either of them realize the logistics and teams of professionals I've got already planned to make sure the day runs smoothly and is enjoyed by our guests. They ask me for a job every. single. time. we talk about the wedding.

Not necessarily wedding specific but....

Two years ago FH and I moved across the country together. My grandma asked me what our sleeping situation was, and if I felt safe living alone with a man.

Mom says that white is only for virgins. If you have had sex, are pregnant or this is not your first wedding, you can not wear white. Off white is ok, though.

When I went to try on dresses I wanted an all white one despite not being a virgin. Thankfully this will not be an issue with mom as pure white made me look very pale and I ended up with off white anyway.

@Justine LMAO! I told my mom that I was staying with my FH's mother, and she already knew that he lived with him. She says "Oh that's nice that she has an extra room for you! Do you have a lot of privacy?"

@heaven Shes the worst with it! And her favorite thing is to take those surprise pictures when your not looking and then post them all over Fb. Everyones always yelling at her no pictures. I just knew when I saw the flash that if I didnt TELL her not on FB i would of logged on and seen it there.

Oh those prices!! If only it was like that still today ha!

I don't have a mom and FMIL lives 5 hours away and has nothing to do with the wedding, but the rest of my family makes up for it.

Grandmother is still upset we're not getting married at the church.

Dad is upset I'm not wearing a veil that covers my face (he always talks about how lifting my mom's veil was his favorite part of the wedding, but it's not for me).

Dad also wants to invite everyone he's ever known, regardless if I've met them.

Aunt wants to throw me a shower and invite a bunch of extended family I've seen 5 times and ARENT invited to the wedding (thanks, but no thanks).

My dress is off white with a gold undertone and that has really ruffled some feathers with old family members. Lol

@jennifer I heard that too with the virginity and white dresses! I'm all for picking whatever tone is more compatible with your body.

@futureMrsQ I know right! Even with inflation; I feel like they just mark up a lot of things anymore.

@kreestan I'll let you borrow the etiquette book to show your dad that the veil for over your face is only for young brides (18 ish) and shy brides LOL. I'm telling you... some of these items in this book are bizarre.

@Kate it's a cake that is culturally reserved for Christmas or weddings. Neither my FH or I eat it. To be honest no one in my family really eats it but it's just one of those things you have to have. My post sounded a bit snarky but my mom has issues with her hands and the amount of baking she would have to do would put a strain on her hands. I'm going to still buy the cake from a baker so I will have her help package it out and maybe build the cake boxes if she wants to.

@Jennifer-Actually, blue is the color of purity. The only reason wedding dresses are white is because of Queen Victoria wore a white dress and it became the fashion. Before that, brides usually wore the best dress they owned.

@ms.g omggg sounds like my FMIL. 75% of pics she takes of people are when they aren't looking or are talking/not paying attention. Like wtf. The other 25% of pics she posts on FB she steals off my FB and posts cheesy collages. I just can't. Ha!!'n

My mom was disappointed we didn't put "Open Bar" on the invitation. She thinks we're going above and beyond and it's not necessary and kind of rediculous. Yes, we're having an open bar, but we don't need to announce it

My grandma is very grumpy about the fact that we are not getting married in a church. She also keeps saying we are wasting money because we want a full dinner reception instead of a 'cake and punch' reception in the afternoon. She also thinks it's ridiculous to spend money on a make-up artist or hair stylist.

My mom was insistent on using inner envelopes. I wanted pockets to organize the inserts. I had the consultant at the local invitation shop I used find back pockets that fit inside the inner envelopes that went with the invitation I picked.

My grandma was super surprised that my invitations didn't explicitly list my parents by name. And she was confused when I said wasn't wearing gloves. >.<