Making a Catholic wedding bearable?

I think if people know you, they know you're Catholic and need to get over themselves. It's an hour.

I feel your pain...although I was raised Catholic, I am not practicing nor am I involved, so I left that decision up to my FH. He chose his parent's church (which he grew up) which is also the church my parents were married in. But we both agreed not to have a full mass which will, I hope, keep the ceremony from being too long and tedious

What % of your guest list is Catholic? We decided to skip communion since my whole family is not Catholic. That shaved off about 15 minutes off of the time and the non-Catholics feel less excluded. However, you may not be comfortable with that. I would say it's also important to have different people do the readings to mix it up and use a priest who can personalize the ceremony to you and FH.

I'm not religious and have many non-religious friends. We all sit through them, but it's not our favorite part because being there for an hour and a half when it's warm in there is no too great. Because it's not a ceremony, you are sitting through church and at some point people forget it's a wedding because it's only about the church. Even the religious friends (catholics included) moan and groan at the length of them.

I would suggest doing something like this for programs (since I'm a comedic person so this is totally me):

http://www.polyvore.com/so_youre_going_to_sit/thing?id=74448941

Or throw in some comedic relief to the ceremony, if that is your style. Maybe throw in poems or book excerpts instead of all bible readings.

ETA – No one is going to hate you for having it. We have attended all of the masses for the people who had them and we joke and moan to pass the time but we are all respectful enough to know it was important to them so we attended to show our support. It didn’t kill us and none of us hold a real grudge against it. So do everything that is important to you and everyone will understand. They will jokingly complain about it, but will understand.

We're having a Greek Orthodox ceremony and it's about 45 minutes to an hour as well. I kind of feel like people need to just deal. I know it's not that entertaining and it's long, but there's nothing we can do about it. It is what it is! Don't stress. I'm sure there will be plenty of people that appreciate the traditions and rituals.

If you're not willing to compromise on the mass or the ceremony, where else could you cut time? I guess you could leave out readings. And skip any solo performances. Or, you could figure you'll only this once and your friends can just suck it up. That's what friends do for each other.

I was raised Catholic and also find Catholic weddings to be long and boring. The only way to make it more tolerable for your guests is to only have a half mass instead of a full mass, but I think you said you didn't8dnt want to do that. However the ceremony is about what you and your FH want so if that's what you want then your guests should pipe down and respect your wishes.

I'm having a Catholic wedding too - there's really not much you can do to make it go by any faster. My church doesn't let you stray from the service at all, so people just need to deal.

I was raised Roman Catholic and was an alter server at many weddings back in the day.

I know you don't want to compromise and want to include everything. Try to keep it around 45mins, instead of a full hour.

Biggest thing. START ON TIME!!!

Having your groomsmen or ushers escort people down the aisle, adds movement while they're waiting.

Have a fun program! Maybe incorporate the story of how you both met?

Ooh @Alice... A fun program is kind of what I'm going for. I wasn't going for trying to shave time off, but have elements that might help people get through it lol

I have to agree with TheOGJesse's Girl and Liana.

This is your wedding. It is a *Sacrament*. Catholic and Orthodox weddings are extremely moving and touching and beautiful because of that. Even if, to those who don't understand the significance, they might be "too long."

It's not about entertaining your guests - that's what the reception is for.

Our guests were of different denominations and our priest was GREAT. We heard this from our Jewish friends, Baptist, Methodist, Hindu and even lapsed Catholics.

The program helps a lot and your priest should guide them.

Have as many people as you can be involved as readers, gift bearers, etc.

But really, an hour? That's sad that it's so boring for them.

We had a Catholic wedding because it was important to us. We weren't willing to compromise. If people can't sit for an hour they have a problem, not you.

"Making a Catholic wedding bearable?"

Answer: not possible.

haha, but here is a real tip - the one thing I really hated about the one Catholic wedding I attended was when they made everyone line up to eat the bread and wine ... I refused to do it haha ....... but it still made me feel really uncomfortable. It just seems unhygienic and I don't wanna eat jesus' body !!

So skip that part if you were having it. Other than that, try to make it shorter? (if possible)

I would agree to have something in the program that is fun. I like the story of you or something about your wedding party - some story about who they are and how you met or something. That way people have something to read if they are getting bored.

Honestly, I just tune out religious stuff, so during your wedding, I'd probably pay attention during the key moments, and during the rest of it, I just zone out. I know it's not the fault of the couple that the mass is so long.

AugustBride uhhh they're not going to skip taking communion. That's kind of important. You just don't go up if you're not Catholic.

AB, Catholics don't make anyone take communion and actually don't allow non Catholics to take the bread and wine (though they can come up for a blessing).

Why make a sacrament shorter? I have sat through much longer commencements and other ceremonies.

I feel like an hour isn't too much to ask, but we also don't want to go too long. We are choosing shorter songs and readings. Another big thing to keep it short is don't do a unity candle. All the catholic weddings I've been to have had a "reflection and unity candle" segment with a long song. This isn't a necessary part of the mass, and it is boring. It doesn't take an entire song to light a candle.

If you can skip Communion, do so. I've also been to weddings where non-Catholics can be blessed by the priest in lieu of Communion, which strikes me as more inclusive.

Mostly, I would start on time, and do everything in your power to not have a gap between ceremony and reception. A 1.5 hour ceremony, 3 hour gap, then 5 hour reception is a really long day.

We are having a Catholic Wedding too and we are just keeping a dialogue with our Priest (FH Family Priest) that we want to keep it as short and sweet as possible, even though we are doing the whole mass and ceremony (coins, candle, etc)

Have you talked with your priest/deacon yet? I suggest choosing 1 reading that everyone can relate to (Love is patient...) so they don't zone out. Also I am choosing church songs that are more modern and my pianist has a beautiful voice, so hopefully that will help too.

Also our church has interesting facts about it, (such as where the wood on the alter comes from, why the architecture was chosen), that I was planning on including in the program, which might make our guests more interested in the church...so they don't get too bored.