Is it wrong to ask for money instead of gifts for your wedding?

I am using OurWishingWell.com You can register for anything. We are mostly putting honeymoon ideas on it. We also do not need anything for our house. We dont have anymore room. However, A lot of people do want to give something at a wedding. I look at it this way, if you register for honeymoon things they know you will use it and love it. You are saving them the hassle of shopping. If they do not feel comfortable using the internet they will come up with something or give you cash anyway. OR they could skip it all together. It will be up to your guests if they want to give a gift or not. I would personally love to give money to a wishingwell type thing because I would know you are getting something you would like. How many times have you gone somewhere and not had a clue what to get someone for a gift. It is basically and idea for your guests they dont have to do it. I wouldn not put anything on the invites about gifts but I would give my guests the option.

Lol I missed Consonance's post. Although I didn't see any mention of having a shower, I kinda don't want to have one b/c it is forcing me into registering. But my BF insists that I have a shower. FH and I are both homeowners and have two houses full of STUFF. However, we are looking to redecorate the master bedroom so I'm going to just register for stuff for the bedroom and probably some linens/towels for the bathroom.

We're using Honeyfund. We're not putting the info anywhere but our website, but we are using it. I really wouldn't put a poem in with invites or anything like that. Try to give your guests an option or either gifts or cash.

But IMO - if someone goes to our honeyfund and gets that offended, they can be so offended as to NOT come to the wedding & reception and spend our hard earned money...

Lol@ MrsJoseph. But you know what, I HAVE had occasion to be so "offended" by an invitation that I did not attend the event. Well actually the reason I didn't go was two-fold. I received an invitation for a baby shower hosted by the girl's mother. Well the mom and I are quite cordial but the girl herself is very rude and doesn't even speak to me. Uhhh seriously?! Why would I go to her shower. And then on top of that, the shower was at a restaurant. on the invitation it was printed just as clear as the sky is blue, "if you bring a gift, your meal will be covered. If you don't bring a gift, you pay for your own food." Ok how TACKY! Ummm did I mention I didn't go?! Hell I can take myself out to eat and not have to keep company with rude people.

@LadyLee - I wouldn't have gone either! That IS very very TACKY! LOL! If forced to go I would have brought NO gift and a bag lunch.

@ladylee--- OMFG!! That story practically made my spit diet coke out my nose!! You have GOT to be kidding me!!! That is probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.... but at least now I have a good story to make myself look good LOL ("You think this is tacky? Listen to what this crazy bit** at a baby shower did")

Wow Ladylee. Actually people is going to give you what they want to give you regardless. Most of my family members give money and some will give gifts. I prefer the money to go to our down payment for our house. So the word of the mouth is moving fast. Everyone already know. Right now I don't care. I just want to have a blast and enjoy myself on our day. I don't care if people come or not. It's about us. And whats tacky is for the brides telling everyone to pay for their own meals. I guess everyone is different.

@MrsJoseph can't nobody FORCE me to go to nothing. I'm grown! LOL!!! FH even got an invitation. I mean who really invites guys to baby showers? They were clearly scouting for gifts!

@NAB sorry chic! I owe you a coke. But yeah it sometimes come in handy to have a good story to tell.

@ wonderful moment, who told their guests to pay for their own meals?

Yeah all I can say to this is that for my bridal shower I had two big registries set up at Target and JCPenney...... probably about 70% of the people didn't use the registry and just bought what they wanted. Lucky for me we were just starting so even if I had some duplicates it was OK. But still... I honestly feel like everyone says "where are you registered" as a tease because they just get what they want regardless

I heard that one bride had asked guests to pay for a ticket to come to their wedding. Isn't that crazy. I would never asked anyone to bring/pay for themselves.

I don't know what is going to happend at my bridal shower. I think it is a surprise, but I am all for it. I will be happy of what I get and be thankful. For the wedding I do prefer $$ but what can I say. I will just be happy that I am sharing it with people that I love.

@LadyLee - I feel you, but I have to admit to still being scared of my mom! LOL - Sometimes she gets me to do stuff I am NOT down with...but what do you say then? LOL

Lol MrsJoseph my mom can get me to do a lot of things too but she does not go to work with me everyday so she CANNOT spend my money lol

@ NAB I have noticed that a lot too. I like to give practical gifts that a personal actually needs & will use so I always shop from a registry when one is available. I'll be sitting at the shower looking at gifts like "That was not on the registry" LOL!

@wonderful moments, that's horrible. i think people should have whatever wedding they can afford to have on their own. however simple or elaborate that may be. guests aren't really obligated to give you a gift so to ask folks to pay to come is very presumptuous!

You may find many guests will be offeneded if you ask for money. If you are not registered anywhere your guests will simply give you money. I wouldn't risk offending anyone by telling them what they should give you.

I'm in love with vocalista's mythbusting, and couldn't agree more. we're using depositagift.com for our cash gift registry and it's working perfectly. we're doing a combo honeymoon and home decor (this site's awesome b/c you can do that. it's not just for a honeymoon. you can register for whatever you want). similar to what marcie and mike says about ourwishingwell. but personally, i just think that depositagift.com is a nicer site. it's easy to use, and looks more like a regular online registry. we wanted something classy and that felt like a regular registry so guests feel like they are giving a present...luckily that's how people have responded so far (breathe: sigh of relief!) and squirmypickles- don't fret. you're doing the right thing for you. but if you want more backup, check out this article. it's about deposit a gift, but it addresses the 'tacky' etiquette issue. http://www.recessionwire.com/2010/01/20/cashing-in-on-wedding-gifts/

FI and I live together and we have everything already but we registered at 2 places for nicer things. for example: nicer pots/dishes/shower head/egyptian cotton sheets/cookware. However we are spreading by word of mouth that we would really like some cash for our honeymoon. I would never post it in an invite unless its a shower invitation and I still would not mention cash.

I'm not comfortable asking for cash either but was my FH idea--another bride was kind enough to post that poem for me so please don't kick her idea...I won't use it personally but it is her choice and should be respected--like Carmen said, we should respect everyone's choices and try to give better alternatives....respectfully.

@ladylee---I'm sorry, but that was IN YOUR FACE tacky! Surely, they had to know better..they were just brazen!!

I love the poem idea! I don't think it's a bad idea and most the poems sounded good thanks Carmen! As for someone else on here seems like everything and idea is negative for her and she'll try n talk everyone out of things but I'm sure she'll use alot of these ideas for herself.... Good luck!

No, no, no. Your wedding isn't about collecting presents. It iis about celebrating your union with your friends and family. If NO ONE bought you a gift at all, would you really care? If so, you are getting married for the wrong reasons.

You should not put anything about gifts on the invitation, at all. That makes it look like someone has to pay their way into your wedding. You should just do a small registry with things like upgraded sheets and towels (and only tell people about it if they ask) or don't register at all. People will get the hint.

If I got an invitation with registry information OR someone asking for cash, needless to say, I would not be attending that wedding. You wouldn't randomly call up your relatives and ask for money for anything else, so why now?