Is it wrong to ask for money instead of gifts for your wedding?

Unsure in our minds, of what we may need,

Not wanting to offend, or show any greed,

We have the essentials to be living in sin,

A kettle, a toaster, and even a bin.

So , vouchers are requested, in order to proceed,

With the purchases that we, will eventually need.

The date has been set and we'd love you to come,

To our wedding in (place name), a long way for some,

All you must do, is decide what to wear,

Then polish your jewelery and comb up your hair.

Don't worry about gifts, don't buy us a yacht,

The things that we need, we've already got.

Our home is quite compact, we may have to move

Then our storage and space will surely improve.

Don't go out shopping or get yourself stressed,

Don't alter your plans for a pre-wedding rest.

If you want to be generous, despite what we've said,

Then save all the hassle and do this instead.....

Don't know how to word this but will give it our best shot..

Contributions are most welcome, we'll go somewhere hot!

A honeymoon would be marvelous, to start off our life,

In our long winding journey, as new husband and wife!

Carmen, I was being nice. If a decision is bad or if reasoning is off, don't you owe it to them to tell them as a friend?

I know you're not Capri. I wasn't talking to you.

LOL @ Carmen. Love you girl!

I went ahead and told people before christmas that we weren't doing a bridal shower or anything and people asked what we wanted and i told them michaels or hobby lobby gift cards so it can be used towards the wedding and i got a couple of those and people gave us those and put money on it for the wedding and for christmas.

I'm in the same situation my FH and i have ben together for 7yrs and are finally tying the knot. we also have everything we could possibly need for the house but i would like to go somewhere warm and tropical but not enough money to do that so were stuck in a rut. everybody keeps telling me its tacky to ask for money for your wedding so were not sure what were going to do but we are going to have the $1 dance with the bride and groom so that will go towards a honeymoon of some sort.

Jessay, you can also set up a honeymoon registry instead. have you looked at www.honeyfund.com or similar places?

My mistake.

Yes.

I did not mean to wage a war and I appreciate all the advise so far. To be honest I am going to register for some gifts for my Bridal shower to replace the old Kitchen stuff with some new. My fiance is the one that is pushing the issue for us to ask for money and I am not sure what his true reason is. Probably ebcause he does not want to hassle with taking the time to register on an online honeymoon registry, or mess with having to take things back, or it could be that he is happy with what we have. Whatever the case is I have a few months to make my final decsion. I will keep you all posted Thanks to Carmen for taking the time to be creative.

Crower- I think that is a great idea, always nice to upgrade the old stuff. Honestly, I can't wait to get a new blender (sounds silly I know).

No problem hun. =0)

Just let your desire for money spread via word-of-mouth. And/or don't register and people will get the hint. I wouldn't recommend using any poems - or any written form of asking for money. Many people consider that to be very rude. Good luck

I'm going to quote Peggy Post's mythbusting information from the Wedding Channel website:

Myth #10: A couple should always register for some traditional household items.

Post Says: False!

A bride and groom should register for whatever makes sense for them. They might very well need the traditional household items of linens, china, crystal, and flatware. Or, they might need none of these. Today’s wedding registries run the gamut: traditional; lifestyle items, such as camping equipment or wines; home-improvement materials for updating a kitchen or a bedroom; or a joint account in the couple’s name for gift-givers to deposit cash toward a downpayment on a house or honeymoon fun. Some registries designate a portion (or all) of each gift’s cost to the couple’s (or sometimes guests’) favorite charities.

We felt it would be awkward to flat-out ask for money, so we are registered at Macy's and Honeyfund.

Capri is right. Those poems are beyond tacky. I'm sorry, but if I received an invitation with one of those, I would be embarrassed for the couple and probably skip the wedding all together.

What's the point of having a shower if you only want cash? People don't want to sit around and watch you open envelopes.

If you're accepting a shower, then it really is your obligation to register for stuff.

Well here's the thing, etiquette dictates that you don't include registry information with the invitation. Asking for money in lieu of gifts is essentially the same thing as including registry information. So how exactly does one intend to deliver said poems?

The other problem I see with it is that guests aren't obligated to bring you a gift. So what I've suggested to people who don't want typical gifts is to simply not register. Now you run the risk of receiving 3 blenders and 5 toasters. But if you already live together and have an established household, most of your guests should already know that and will probably just give you a gift card or cash instead.

I'm sorry, but yeah, its wrong to ask for money. There is just no nice/appropriate way to ask for it, so why not just create a small registry? You don't want a new set of towels, higher thread count sheets, shower curtain, plastic container lid organizer, something? Maybe think of it this way; if you don't register there will be some guests who will buy you something they like because they want to give you a gift and not money. So then you might end up with rubber duckie towels, a zebra print lampshade and some weird thing that you're not sure if its a fruit bowl or a medieval torture device. And what in the world do you do with that stuff? You can always donate your old stuff to the Salvation Army or Goodwill or something. Or do you like camping or hiking? You could register for a new tent and stuff like that.

I agree with ladylee (as usual). We simply didn't register and figure that our guests know us well enough to know that we don't need household items.