How to be polite while still asking for $ not gifts

I just didn't register and when people ask I just explain that we don't need anything for the house. Then when they ask well what can be buy you as a gift I've said our gift is you coming to the wedding. Hopefully they will get the picture. You can also just say we are saving for the honeymoon. Good luck. It's been awkward a couple times for me.

We registered for only a small number of items we actually need and then asked our moms to politely spread the word that cash gifts would be appreciated to help us purchase our first home. At the moment we don't really have space for a lot of typical wedding gifts in our small apartment.

I'm in the same boat. We'll probably register for a few things since I'm having a bridal shower but we're really trying to save up for our first home. Not to mention that we have pretty much everything we need and I don't foresee us needing fine china any time soon. We're not very fancy.

Same boat. The suggestions on here are pretty good. Only register for a few items for your shower and people should get the hint. BP and mom's can spread the word.

In times past, if the bride and groom did not register, it was an indication that they preferred a monetary gift. Times have changed and these subtleties are no longer known to many. IMO your best bet is to include wording on the invitations along the lines of " for gift information, please call (insert your mothers name) or (grooms mother name) and ask them to help encourage monetary gifts.

I'm trying to figure this out myself. We are both in our 30s so we have plenty of things. Plus we will be staying with his dad for a little while so I may need to put some items in storage. We definitely don't need more.

My fiance says he had friends that asked for donations to help pay for their honeymoon. We were thinking of doing that, and then having a small registry for those that still want to purchase a physical gift. I'm not sure how to word all that though.

I have a friend who got married last year and kindly requested only envelopes gifts (we all took that to be gift cards or cash).

My FH and I put this on our wedding website in the registry section. Then we put a link to our small registry

The only gift that we request is your presence at our wedding. We are saving for a home and already have most of the items that we need for it. However, we realize that some of you may want to contribute something, so we are registered for only a few items at these places. Thank you for thinking of us and for sharing in our celebration.

Designate a "go to" - such as your mom, aunt, sister, MOH or someone who KNOWS the majority of the family and have everyone call them for gift info and let them explain the situation. This goes over MUCH better than having people hear it from you as the bride. For some reason people can get snooty if the bride says she wants a "hand out" even if it is for a legitimate reason such as yours. But if it comes from your mother people will not think anything of it. We are going to have my mom tell people in lieu of gifts we prefer cash or gift cards to use towards a new home. This is only partially true, but the premise is the same - I do not need "stuff" period. I will register for maybe 20 things at Target for my shower, but that is it.

I didn't register anywhere and if anyone asks me I'm telling them that if they wish to give us a gift that it be a 'flat gift'. (Cash, giftcards or cheques.)

Please go the more subtle, 'small registry' route-- asking for cash is just tacky.

I'd listen to your mama. :-)

"Flat gifts" are pretty funny. My aunts would smile at that. My grandmother on the other hand.... I can see her expression now and its' terrifying (she's not a cuddly grammy)

Don't register anywhere and people will get the hint.

We've gone this route. We really don't have space for any more "stuff", so there is a registry page on our website where we simply explained just that. And said, "no gifts are necessary, but if you *really* want to give a gift, we would gladly except small gifts to help with the cost of the wedding". I hope that goes over well. Also, asking our mothers both spreading the word to each side of the family

Id suggest not registering anywhere. Thats the route we are taking. When i have people ask where we are registering and i say no where they say "ohhh cash then!" It works

I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but a registry consultant told me to register for all kinds of stuff and just return it for cash. She told me that sometimes people have plenty of stuff but still register for all the typical things like pots and pans, silverware, blender, etc., and after the wedding bring it all in and get cash for it. I'm not doing this but I can see her point.

Register somewhere for upgraded items. You may have everything you need but maybe register for 800tc sheets to replace those 300tc sheets you currently use. Catch my drift? It doesn't have to be a ton of stuff but there are some people who will flat out refuse to give cash and you really don't want them to go rogue.

Someone needs to dig up the Drakthal thread.

If you register at Bed Bath and Beyond, I believe that if you return anything, they give you cash for the item if it was bought off your registry. Might want to look into that concept....I dunno if there really is a polite way to tell a large group of people you want money instead of gifts

My MOH had this problem for her wedding, as she and her husband were packing up and moving across the country immediately after the wedding and didn't want a lot of stuff. her MIL wrote something like "as the bride and groom will be moving across the country after the wedding, please do not feel the need to bless them with household gifts" or something like that on one of the enclosure cards or the shower invitation. I can't find the exact wording (this was over 2 years ago) but it went over really well and most people respected it and gave cash. Another wedding I went to had invitations that said "we already have a tiny apartment filled with stuff we love, so let your presence at our wedding be gift enough...or donate to this charity." Bottom line is, I think people are getting used to this idea and I'm certainly seeing it spelled out in black and white. I just got an invitation a couple weeks ago that says "in lieu of gifts, we are asking for contributions to our new house fund."